IV rate calc. HELP PLESE!!

Nursing Students Student Assist

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You have a patient and remove 130mL from their NG. They are ordered fluids at 50mL/hr. Fluids are running for the past 4 hours at 75mL. What do you set the infusion at for the next 4 hours??

Except that it's Tuesday and the Blood Moon was last month. And the patient weighs 85 kg and is getting Rocephin, 1g, IVPB q24 hours. The physician ordered NS at 50 mL/hr (banish those unapproved abbreviations!!) but you only have a 250 mL bag... now what's the rate? What if it turns out that the patient only weighs 70 kg... now what's the rate?

How 'bout on the third Tuesday of odd numbered months of even numbered years?

What if the patient doesn't like chocolate or loves brussels sprouts?

What's the rate now?

The rate was 75 mL/hr and will be 100 mL/hr but for now is ordered to be 50 mL/hr... what's the rate?

What if the patient has a massive, runny, stinky code brown?

What if the nurse has a BSN, what then?

Do my instructors hate me because I'm beautiful?

What's the rate if the nurse is an ugly hag instead of a beautiful princess like me?

OMG, dear heart, you made me laugh out loud. I hope we aren't confusing anybody out there. I mean, how do I factor in the negative value for chocolate if I have to use dimensional analysis!? Does the brown in the Code Brown cancel it out? It's output, right? Help!

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I mean, how do I factor in the negative value for chocolate if I have to use dimensional analysis!?
It depends on the cacao concentration...
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It depends on the cacao concentration...

I always get confused between that and the caca concentration... damn.

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