It took 6 tries and 12 years to pass NCLEX but I can't find a good job for me

It took me about 6 tries to pass my NCLEX exam in a 12 year span. I was lucky to land a job even having graduated so long ago on a telemtry unit. I was transparent about the huge gap after graduation and after having extended my 8 week preceptorship to 9 1/2 weeks I was told I would need to be ready after next week. After 9 dufferent preceptors I did not feel confident or ready to be alone and did not want hurt anyone or lose my liscence. I asked to be put on a less acute unit but none were available so I voluntarily quit. I then got a nx corrections job that was not difficult and slower paced but full of medical staff that were toxic, unprofessional , unorganized mean and were not willing to teach a new grad. I quit tgat for my own mental health it was soo awful. Now I feel defeated and like I will never learn to be a nurse. What can I do? I took a refresher course for more confidence but it did not offer clinical experience.