Is this a problem?

[NEnglish]

This is a long story, so I'm cutting out details to make it shorter. I graduate in a month, and I got started a little early on the job hunt. The rational part of me realizes that many of my online applications are most likely getting rejected because I can't click the "currently licensed" button. The irrational part of me is wondering if maybe it is something else.

It took me several years from graduation of high school to get to this point. My family experienced a very severe emergency that forced me to drop out of college. I still had a mountain of tuition debt, ensuring that I would not be able to go back to school for quite some time (they wouldn't release my transcripts until I paid them). I was young and barely old enough to drink. I thought I was fortunate to get a job as a teller at a Fortune 500 bank. It started out so great, I even saw a future there. But the recession happened. I don't want to make any excuses, but it was emotionally draining. As I said, I was barely old enough to drink. I was accused of ruining lives. I was screamed at by adults twenty, thirty, forty years older than me, who had lost their entire life savings that they had been accumulating since before I was even born. They told me that I had ruined their lives and their children's lives. I ruined weddings. I ruined Christmas. They HATED me. I could see it in their eyes when they looked me dead in the face and named me personally as the reason why they lost all their money. This was a daily thing. When I went home and turned on the TV, I saw news stories about people committing suicide over the economic disaster my workplace institution had caused. I was always a self-confident, sort of sheltered, young adult. Experiencing this left me with intense anxiety. Even though I knew the recession wasn't actually my personal fault, and I wasn't actually solely responsible for ruining lives and weddings and marriages, it still got in my head. I don't like to cause people angst like that, and I don't like to feel like I'm part of something that is causing people to suffer. It got so bad, I started messing up. I could not keep up with the company's demand to make sales, because it was impossible to sell to people when your institution was a major driving factor behind their misery. I made one too many errors, and I was let go. After the fact, I struggled with severe anxiety. I'm older now, and better. I still have anxiety, but I've worked in the food industry ever since and I've learned how to adapt and cope with high stress situations.

I don't like to make excuses, so the only thing I can say about it was that I was very young and it was a very intense time. On my applications, I do tell the truth that I was let go from this job. This job was almost eight years ago. I note that I was let go due to an inability to fulfill position requirements. I don't know what else to say. I'm not going to lie, because I'm sure they have a way to find out. But I also don't want to really draw a lot of attention to it.

Am I doing this right? Could this be hurting me? Should I just not say anything at all? It was so long ago. I'm a totally different person now. I love nursing. I've never had a bad review from any nurse or professor I've worked with. My patients have always loved me. I love my patients. My anxiety still troubles me in certain situations, but I've mellowed out and I can definitely work through it. This was one rough patch in my life, and I just don't want it to come back to haunt me.

Of course, I might just be over-thinking it. I just started my final rotation in a unit I love but does not hire new grads. I spent the first week getting to know my preceptors. Now I'm going to spend the next week finding a way to connect with the nurse recruiter and really emphasis how much I love the hospital, and that I would love to work on a unit that does hire new grads. I see a long future with this place, so I'm going to try really hard. In the meantime, this little rough patch on my application still kind of nags at me.

Thanks for the advice!

[Mavrick, BSN, RN]

Gosh, I am so sorry you got all those personal attacks for just being the face in the window. I can so see both sides. The people yelling at you did have ruined lives and weddings etc. but can't yell at the people who really ruined for them. Those MFs are still out there and it makes me mad. I just hope they get it in the sea of Karma.

You, my dear, have done a pretty good job of moving on. You don't have to dwell on the details or make a big deal out of it. Your explanation is reasonable enough.

Now that you are a little older and perhaps can compartmentalize what you are and are not responsible for, you stand a much better chance of handling the stress placed on a professional nurse. Some things are within your control and you can only do your best, nothing more. Don't fall into the wishful thinking that you can be perfect. Ain't gonna happen. And, like your other job, there will be things that people will try to blame you for that is not your fault. If you could have done it better then you would have and next time will be better.

You can always say you are sorry that they are upset, or things did not turn out like they had hoped for, but leave it at that. People want to be heard out and sometimes all you can offer is a sympathetic ear. It is not your fault that somebody is not responding to the chemo, or that their baby isn't going to survive. There are many terrible things that happen that we have no explanation for and can't fix it the way people may expect us to.

With a goodly amount of self care you might be a dang fine nurse someday and your experiences have made you the person you are today. Your past doesn't have to haunt you, it has made you stronger.

[familychick, BSN]

That sounds like a rough way to grow the much needed tough skin of a nurse. The reason you gave sounds very reasonable to me. I have been in management and in charge of hiring (and firing). I would not have batted an eye at that. Honestly many facilities only pay attention to previous healthcare related jobs. I no longer list jobs prior to nursing. This is will be your first nurse job it probably will be necessary to list it. Just hold your head up high and state that you were no longer able to fulfill...however it was you phrased it... You will be fine. Good luck.

[NEnglish]

Thank you both very much for the kind words and encouragement! I really appreciate it. I feel a bit better about my application than I did before. I am beginning to realize that this is less a black mark on my application than I thought.

@Maverick: You are very right. Of course, no one ever wants to be fired from anything. But that whole experience definitely impacted who I am now, and marked a time of growth and development for me. I learned a lot of coping skills, to be sure!

Thank you folks again!