Is this too much information to share?

[HappyPediRN]

Typically in an interview you are asked what drew you to the field and why you want to work in it specifically. I want to work in the NICU, I feel like it is my calling...not just because I love babies but because I lost my son at 39.5 weeks and I can relate to some of the heartwrenching pain the parents are going through. I think my situation has matured me for a field like the NICU and given me a true sense of empathy and compassion. I know that I won't be able to save every single baby, but it doesn't mean I won't try like hell until/if it is time to let go. It is such a high stress, high tech environment and I thrive off that kind of multi-tasking, along with all of the family teaching that comes with it. I'm afraid if I'm honest with the recruiter/nurse manager about my reasons, they will think the NICU will hit too close to home for me or be too emotional of a field for me when in reality it has had the complete opposite effect - it has made me want to be there for families going through that kind of pain. I especially love the small miracles (even if only temporary) that come along with a NICU setting. I just know deep down in my heart of hearts that this is my calling. Do you think I should disclose this information in an interview, or would it hurt my chances?

[SteveNNP, MSN, NP]

I am so sorry for the loss of your son....

My advice would be to indeed share your reasons that you mentioned, if the manager asks you why you have chosen NICU. Many of us have incredibly personal reasons for feeling the call to work here. We have several NICU nurses on this forum who went to school to be NICU RNs after having premature or ill children in NICU. It's not too personal. While some may consider nursing simply a job, NICU is special to us. We all have an extra bit of heart, I think, to want to work where we do...

[Olivereindeer]

Recently a new nurse to the NICU who was pregnant delivered at 29 weeks and after a long battle her baby died in our NICU. She has since had time off but wants to come back.

This has been met with an amazing array of reactions from our unit manager and other older staff. The nurse eventually went to the Union for help as she was being refused. She was told it was too early for her but the essence of it was that the staff who had cared for her baby didnt feel comfortable having her back.

One of their main problems was that this nurse had spent so much time in NICU that she felt she knew more than she did. She was not trained but felt she was able to take on NICU patients on the basis that she was experienced as a parent. Being a parent and being a NICU RN are very different as you would know.

Some nurses also felt that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from related her story the parents and turn other parents situations into 'all about her'.

I could see their point of view but didnt agree.

I would definitely talk about your motivation but go easy on it and also balance it with other reasons for your desire to work there. In my interview I said somethning like I was awed by the bond between newborn and parent and felt I was able to offer care that would facilitate this and nuture it. I also said I really enjoyed working in a systematic and structured environment.

I would just be a little careful after seeing how people reacted in my work place. Just give balanced reasons - dont completely focus on the parent experience.

Hope this doesnt sound a bit rude..just offering you our experience.

Goodluck

[RainDreamer, BSN, RN]

First off, I'm very sorry for the loss of your son :icon_hug:

Secondly, I think you should totally go for it. I can feel the passion you have just from reading your post. I don't think that's too much info to disclose during the interview .... I think it's just perfect.

Please don't let anyone discourage you from doing what you want to do. Don't let them tell you it's too soon, or will be too hard, etc. Unless they have been through the exact same thing you have, they have no business in telling you how you'll feel and react, and even if they have been through the same thing, everyone is different.

Just my

I wish you all the best.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I have worked with some NICU nurses who had babies in the NICU (either before or during employment) and they did just fine. I have worked with other NICU nurses in similar situations who did not handle it well and caused problems. Unfortunately, the ones who don't handle it well rarely recognize that they are not handling it well. It's hard to be objective when it comes to self-assessment.

Do some deep soul searching -- being very critical of yourself -- to assess whether you can appropriately seperate your experiences and emotions from the care you will need to give to other families whose philosophies, experiences, and choices will be different from your own. Get some good objective feedback from others (such as instructors) as to whether or not YOU seem to be ready and able to be objective in providing care to others in situations that trigger strong emotions in you.

If ... after you do that type of objective assessment of your readiness (not just your desires) to be a NICU nurse ... the evidence indicates that you are ready ... then "go for it."

When the question comes up in interviews, don't hide the fact that it is part of your motivation -- but be sure not to appear over-emotional as you discuss it. Demonstrate that your experience can add to your abilities -- but that you have dealt with the emotions successfully so that they will not get in the way of good nursing practice. You have that experience as part of your foundation, but it is not over-whelming for you. You can learn from it without being dominated by it. etc.

Good luck!

[HappyPediRN]

I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the wonderful advice you've given me. I have decided I will disclose the information if it comes up, but in a roundabout way. I will tell them I've been through the loss of my son several years ago, and that's when I realized my calling. I feel I'm lucky because his death made me want to put myself out there and work in a fragile environment because I can understand what some of these parents are going through. I've had a lot of end-of-life care experience since then (though none with infants) and have been able to separate myself from becoming too affected while still being able to give 100% to my patients and their families. I also have a strong support system and use exercise as an outlet. I know that becoming emotionally involved in a NICU setting is unavoidable, it's a highly emtionally-charged area and these parents are scared, clueless, riddled with guilt and pain and fully rely on you to be an extension of themselves. I don't think there is anything more powerful than to have a parent place their child in your care - you're literally holding their future in your hands. I think the difference is being able to take a step back and remember why you're in the field. The small day-to-day miracles and knowing that some of these children WILL come back to you as happy, bouncing toddlers. It's such a balance of positive and negative and I just don't feel I could be fulfilled in any place other than the NICU. That said, I don't think I can lie about my intentions and motives either...if a nurse manager feels it's not the place for me because of my history then that hospital probably isn't, but I know that there is a NICU out there where compassion reigns and a nurse manager who believes an experience like mine is a strength for this fragile clinical setting. Again, I just want to thank the four of you so much for taking the time to offer such heartfelt advice. I truly appreciate it.

[sweetspirit]

Haven't been on in a couple of days but I still wanted to add a comment! I too have a calling for the NICU! I lost my son at 29 weeks and through his short time I fell in love with the NICU. I have been on several interviews and I am starting to wonder if my willingness to share my personal experience had cost me the job offer! I am interested to see how your interview (s) go! Keep us posted!:heartbeat