Insults from a colleague

[Nella007]

Hi, I was wondering if there is anyone out there like me, who simply cannot tolerate being insulted by a colleague. My colleague lost her cool and went on a personal verbal attack to me. There would be many who would say, "get over it!" but I have had enough of this colleague. She is constantly undermining me and this insult event has been the last straw. I have been in mediation with her, I have co operated with trying different communication angles with her, but it appears to be a complete waste of time. I have now made a formal complaint and am going through some management interviews about it. I know that there are many verbal outbursts between nurses but I am not sure I support the venting of frustrations by insulting someone personally. I am not keen to listen to management and HR personnel explain this colleague's behaviour. I think she should be disciplined in some way. What sort of precedent is our nursing profession setting by ignoring nurses who get away with making insults and delivering personal attacks to colleagues. What really eats at me is that my colleague is ever so sweet and smily to everyone and on face value everyone thinks she is so nice! Has anyone out there got any helpful hints about how to move forwards with this type of issue/problem?

[Katnip, RN]

Check your employee handbook. Ours has a policy that an employee who treats someone in a disrepectful, insulting manner can result in a write up. Three writes ups is a suspension, the fourth is termination. If you have something like that, point it out to your manager that she needs to uphold the policy. HR may also need a reminder.

[snuggles49]

Harrashment in the workplace has many defintion. check it out do a search on line you will be surprised. If this colleaque is truely insulting you as you say then perhaps you need to pursue an harrashment charge. I can assure you when the word harrasshment comes out of your mouth your management and HR will listen more intently to your concerns. But remember this if you pusue an harrasshment charge don't do it lightly because you could have a lawsuit on your hands and this colleaque will likely be terminated. Is it possible for the two of you to work different days, different shifts, different units Some people just can't stand each other but as adults and professionals we must make the best of the situation which it sounds as if you are trying on your part to do this. Your colleaque obviously is not therefore maybe a hint that if the nonsense does'nt stop you will be forced to charge her with harrashment. Good luck

[aeauooo]

There have been many studies on horizontal hostility in nursing.

Nurses rate physicians, patients, and patients' families as the most frequent source of hostility, but hostility from other nurses as the most distressing.

It took me a very long time to realize that when I am the target of horizontal hostility, it's really not my problem - although it can sure feel that way!

[sissiesmama, ASN, RN]

Hey - I read your posting and hope your facility is a little more employee frendly than mine was. I am an RN and was working on a BUSY med-surg unit. We worked with a lot of agency nurses, not saying that I have anything against agency. I also worked part time agency on my days off. I was the charge nurse and had 2 agency nurses working on a particular day. Agency nurse (lets call her nurse A) had no problem with her assignment, completed her assignments while helping others on the unit, and Agency nurse B had to loudly voice her opinion to the entire floor, including other nurses, ancillary staff, MDs who were rounding, and unfortunately families of patients getting coffee. When I followed hosp. policy regarding the situation, I was the one that got verbally counseled. Agency nurse B had a friend higher up the food chain than me and the last straw was the day she threatened me that she had brought a gun to work in her car. Her words were "... stupid w_____ b______, I'll show you. I have a gun and I'll cap your a__".

Needless to say, I'm not there anymore, thank God. I just hope you have better administration backup than I did. I had none WHATSOEVER!!!!

Good luck - none of us should have to put up with it. We are there to save people's lives, for goodness sakes!!!!

Anne, RNC:banghead:

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

That drives me totally insane when a co worker feels that it is okay to be arrogant, insulting and confrontational. I have a tendency to do the same, if it continues, which makes it worse, I know in many cases. And when management gives me stupid plattitudes and excuses, wants me to 'understand' that this idiot 'has issues' is not enough for me. What about my issues?? I don't take them out on others, so, I don't expect it to be done to me.

[woknblues]

document every interaction. try to get witnesses. did I mention to document?

[Nella007]

Thanks to all have answered my query, I gain confidence in managing this situation purely from your advice, thanks very very much. I gaain comfort knowing that I am not the only one to be disturbed by this type of situation:wink2:

[Nella007]

Thanks to all who have answered my query, I gain confidence from your advice about how to manage this situation further, and, comfort knowing that I am not the only one to be disturbed by this type of situation. Thanks very very much!