I'm tired of bullying in nursing: advice requested

[~Shrek~]

I am a nurse with 9 years of experience, 8 in public health. I recently transferred jobs, and the lady that's training me right now is hostile. I am at the point where I am strongly considering asking for my old job back before they fill it, and I would be leaving my current job after just a couple months. 

I am leaving details out for anonymity  

When I started in public health, I worked at a community clinic, at the ABCD unit. The nurses who trained me there basically hazed me and would yell at me, belittle me, and embarrass me whenever I had questions. After about a year, I earned their respect and things shifted and I ended up becoming friends with them.   
 

I ended up working in acute care for a short period, and the nurses there were bullies again. Think eye rolling, saying "you should know this!” after telling me there are no stupid questions, etc. The worst part is that one of the preceptors told me that I was doing very well and she was proud of me but then that same day, behind ny back told my supervisor I wasn't cut out to work at the unit. 
 

I went back to public health in field nursing and the difference was night and day. Everyone in my team was soooo nice and supportive. I loved my job, but I got burned out from driving so much so I decided to transfer to a position with less driving. 
 

I went to ABCD unit, this time as a case manager.  A lady, J, called me and begged me to apply for the role because they are short staffed and really needed nurses. I already had low expectations because of how I was treated in the past. But it's even worse than I anticipated. I thought "I've been bullied before here, I can handle some bullying, it'll be worth driving less and being in the office more". I was assigned to train me it's a small group, so she is the ONLY person there who can train me) and she is hostile. Even though she was the one begging me to come work there. She yells at me, rolls her eyes, puts me down, and is just overall stressful to work with. Asking her questions is like pulling teeth, and I feel like she hides information to make things harder. Yesterday, sone examples are:

A coworker told me that the order of things on a cover sheet is a good mnemonic to know what to put in your SOAP charting, so I used that cover sheet as a guide and she blew up at me for putting things in that order, and demanded to know "WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?!?!? I SHOWED YOU MY EXAMPLE AND YOU didn't FOLLOW IT!”  The issue? Putting radiology, bacteriology, and hematology in the "wrong order". Not a safety issue or a policy issue. I refused to tell her who the coworker was because I don't want to perpetuate more workplace drama. Another example is that we like to reuse forms in this unit to save money, so we write things in pencil, scan them in as black and white, then erase them (we don't keep the paper forms as a part of EHR). I accidentally printed out a form by pre-filling it out on the PDF and she blew up at me for wasting paper and attempted to white out things to re-use the form. She rebuked me saying I'll regret typing out and gave myself extra work because next week I'll likely need to do it again. Another example is that I needed to email a form to three different people. I did a quick double check with her "just double checking: I email the form to A, B, and C" and she told me "I told you to write this down!!”  
 

as you can see, NONE of these are safety issues, patient care issues, etc etc. They are just her being petty. 
 

and this lady still calls me after work and acts like we are friends. She said to keep our friendship secret and that at work she won't be my friend. 
 

I am not a fresh new graduate who has no other options. My old job is still vacant, and I think that if I talk to my old supervisors, I can go back. The only thing is that I don't want upper management to question me or to make myself look bad for going back to my old job so fast. Also, getting my old job back is not guaranteed. They could always choose to hire someone else. I was planning to stay a year or two then decide. I don't want to confront this woman, and I don't know if I can trust my supervisor yet. I know when I dealt with this years ago, it got better once I got enough experience to be independent and stop relying on my colleagues to ask questions. 
 

but I am also tired of bullying in nursing. Especially having had a job where everyone was supportive and kind. 

[Emergent, RN]

I think you know why they are shorthanded. 

I would not stay. I tried School nursing substituting last year and I really enjoyed everything about it. The main nurse out there is a fantastic person, who was easily accessible by text or phone for any questions. The school is a wonderful, rural School that does a good job with the kids. Everyone was kind to me there, except the attendance gal. She was very obnoxious, rude, and unpleasant, and the nurse is stationed right there in the front office with her. I was only substituting two or three times a month, but she seemed to think I was a total moron because I didn't have the kids' names memorized, nor did I know a lot of the ins and outs of how the school works. Other than that, the kids were adorable and the rest of the staff very welcoming. 

I let the the nurse know that I was not coming back for the next school year. I let her know why. She really wanted me to come back but she said she understood because there had been similar complaints in the past and this gal had been coached more than once. But she just couldn't control her RBF and rolling eyes. 

People like this become highly entrenched in their workplace. Often they are very competent, but unfortunately they poison the culture of the unit in which they work. And they don't change.

[~Shrek~]

Emergent said:

I think you know why they are shorthanded. 

I would not stay. I tried School nursing substituting last year and I really enjoyed everything about it. The main nurse out there is a fantastic person, who was easily accessible by text or phone for any questions. The school is a wonderful, rural School that does a good job with the kids. Everyone was kind to me there, except the attendance gal. She was very obnoxious, rude, and unpleasant, and the nurse is stationed right there in the front office with her. I was only substituting two or three times a month, but she seemed to think I was a total moron because I didn't have the kids' names memorized, nor did I know a lot of the ins and outs of how the school works. Other than that, the kids were adorable and the rest of the staff very welcoming. 

I let the the nurse know that I was not coming back for the next school year. I let her know why. She really wanted me to come back but she said she understood because there had been similar complaints in the past and this gal had been coached more than once. But she just couldn't control her RBF and rolling eyes. 

People like this become highly entrenched in their workplace. Often they are very competent, but unfortunately they poison the culture of the unit in which they work. And they don't change.

Thank you!! Yes it's so unfortunate. Especially since this is a job I have had my eye on for years, so disappointing. School nursing at a rural school sounds so fun and fulfilling. I am going to look more into school nursing once I have enough years to get a small pension at 55  at my current job (only 2 more yay). 

[JSSR108]

Nursing, unfortunately, is toxic. Nurses are toxic toward each other. Who knew there were so many Ratcheds in Nightangales' clothing.

 

I started nursing late in life. I gained three years experience as a MedSurg RN, nights. Won't mention the hospital, but the management was beyond horrible. Searching several units on each floor for basics when you get an admission (IV poles and pumps, VS machines, feeding pumps, computers crashing 3, 4, 5 in a row, etc.). Management and doctors thought nurses were front door rugs to wipe their shoes on, and it was completely acceptable for patients and their family to berate you and verbally abuse you - management just wanted you to smile and say, OK. Pay was horrible.

 

There were many bad nurses there, but those that were good were great. If you asked questions, they answered. Older, seasoned nurses were willing to hear you out on your rationale for patient care and correct what needed to be corrected, and so on. At the bottom of everything, most of the nursing staff there were friendly and helpful to each other. It was common practice there to be floated to nearly every unit every week. That being the case, I made great professional relationships with several staff. Unfortunately, the hospital and management were enough for me. After having had enough, I was encouraged by another nurse who is well seasoned and very kind and helpful to apply to the other hospital she works at. So I did.

 

Keep in mind, this is a new hospital, new EHR, different unit (higher acuity than MedSurg), different equipment altogether, and they started orienting me on days with the goal of finishing orientation onto nights (that seems standard for orienting). This is a job with way better pay, and, externally, better equipped.

 

That being said, the staff are very cliquish. Everyone other than themselves are dumb, stupid, and idiotic, per them. I'm not even sure the janitor pushes the broom correctly, if I follow their assessment of things. If I ask a question about how to use their equipment, they answer not the equipment question but what it's used for ("IVs help get what's in the bag to the patient...", etc.). I never asked how to use their other equipment because I don't want to look stupid, so I teach myself. A core part of MedSurg nursing is time management, but they explain to me that I need to learn time management. This comes from trying to keep up with learning how to navigate the new EHR system and do my job. There's a lot of talking down and demanding tone. One preceptor, because I had missed finding a section in the new EHR (mind you, not an order not a med, just a section separate from regular charting), spent about twenty minutes explaining to me why we as nurses chart. Every assessment I perform is questioned and contradicted, and that's not being hyperbolic. Another preceptor asked me if I wanted to give report to the next shift, had me give the report only to contradict and question me throughout giving it. My preceptor also stated she had "hand picked" the next nurse because "she's really good". 

 

I have caught on two separate occasions other nurses trash talking me. One nurse asked which hospital I had come from, then, after my having responded, told me, "This hospital isn't that hospital" and walked away. 

 

My direct manager asks me how things are going, but I don't complain because I'm the new one out and don't want to cause waves. Also, I've come to learn he's part of the clique. Nice. 

 

Transitioning to this new job was a big deal to me. It was scary starting new at a new unit, at a new place, with new everything. I'm giving this job a little more time, and if things don't get better I'm out.

 

From the nurses I knew from my last place and the other nurses I know from other hospitals, I have and still hear the same things:

 

* Why are we always short staffed?

* Why does someone always need to stay late?

* Why is the turnover rate so high?

 

Nurses (and all medical staff for that matter), if you treat others horribly, bully, and follow cliquish behavior, why would you even dare ask these questions? Units are built on trust and respect. As a good nurse once said, "If you don't repect your colleagues, you can't trust them; and if you don't trust your colleagues, you can't respect them".