Published Jan 20, 2008
abbaking
441 Posts
So. last night I had a very bad arguement with my charge nurse over something as stupid as the computer documentation system. Long story short - I asked her to update the computer system (i had actually charted on a wrong patient cause it had not been updated). She went all kind of crazy on me saying, "You can do it your **** self! I am busy with admissions and the unit to manage". Well, I had not been in a great mood myself so I unloaded my own attitude on to her and bascially told her to back off, calm down, fix the computer. Back and forth fighting for 15 minutes. In the end she was the idiot and finally apologized to me. Yoyu guys ever feel like an outsider when working with women? Yes, I could have done things differently but it felt good to call this woman out on her ****.
cpnegrad07
134 Posts
Is is a male/female thing or is that just the most obvious difference between you 2? Sounds like an worker/manager thing--"Do your job." Could have been either gender talking, right?
Tweety, BSN, RN
35,418 Posts
Sounds like you both are to blame. But you can only worry about your side of the street which isn't exactly clean.
While your charge nurse may be looking like an idiot, you're not looking to good either. Effective communication could have warded off a 15 minute useless waste of everyone's time.
Good luck with handling things better in the future. Perhaps you can be a man and apologize for your part as well.
suzanne4, RN
26,410 Posts
Please do not blame this on your manager being female. It has nothing to do with gender at all.
You also need to own up that you were in a hurry and charted on the wrong patient, please do not blame the manager for that. It is your legal responsibility to chart on the correct patient, whether it is computer charting or the old fashioned paper charting. And it is usually not the manager's job to update the computer, it is usually done by the admission's clerk in most places.
And sorry, she did not owe you an apology, it looks like it was the other way around. Behavior like this gets no one anyplace.
pawashrn
183 Posts
I feel you answered your own question. "things could have been done differently, but it felt good". Maybe you have an issue with female authority. Say hi to mom
Need I say this website is uptight? Its bad enough working in primative conditions and an extremely stressful enviroment, but When I come on here to simply vent about my bad day - people jump down my throat like white on rice. Like I said before, I COULD have handled things differently, but I chose to call my charge nurse out on her negative behavior, and to cut the attitude cause i sure as heck wasnt gonna take it. There comes a point in time when negativity and being rude for NO justified reason will get you ....well, lets just say you will get a reality check. Gender in the workplace is not the main issue here (although, I do find it difficult to work with certain female co-workers), but more like maintaining professionalism, and being accountable for one's mistakes. In retrospect, I am accountable for my charting, attitude, and how I dal with situations but As the unit charge nurse I would hope to a higher power that theywould not give me some dirty attitude for some petty reason. Oy Vay-
I am going to dish it right back to you then. You came here complaining about a tif that you had with your manager. And I have no idea of who she is nor does that matter, but the issue is that you wanted us to make nice because you had a bad day. The bad day could have been entirely your fault in the first place, and sorry, but the fact that you use computer charting and charted on the wrong patient is 100% your fault and has nothing to do with the manager or the charge nurse. You need to take responsibility for your actions, and not try to blame them on someone else.
And she did not owe you an apology, it should have been the other way around. You work under the manager, they do not work for you.
You could have come here saying that you had a bad day at work, and you would have had sympathy from us as we have all gone thru that. But to come here stating that you had a bad day and it was all the fault of the manager just does not fly here with us. That is what we are pointing fingers at you for. Your behavior and it has nothing to do with it being a male/female issue, could have happened with two male nurses, or anything else. But the issue that you are making of it and of the others that have told you the same thing here.
Nursing can be a very hard job, but any mistakes and you are the one that is held accountable, never your manager. You are working 100% under your own nursing license, not under the license of anyone else. From what you had posted originally, there was nothing that showed that the manager did anything wrong in the first place. It was all about how you behaved and nothing more.
Thread closed.
I hear what you're saying and understand the vent completely. She was wrong for sure. was merely saying that two wrongs don't make a right. We loose our credibility when we stoop to someone elses level.
I see this often. That someone is frustrated with someone, especially charge nurses and management, or CNA's. They don't say anything until they reach a boiling point. Obviously this wasn't about the computer, but about a long standing issue you had with this charge nurses attitude. Perhaps from now on, each and every single bad attitude you get, you should handle constructively so it doesn't build up and come out like this.
I had a tech blow up at a nurse a few weeks ago. Guess who got the reprimand from the charge nurse? Both of them, even though the tech felt she was justified because this nurse "always does.............".
A nurse did this to me, came out of left feild reading me the riot act. Turns out she thought that I was "always" unfair and showing favoritism. It would have been nice if when I did this she would have pointed it out to me rather than feel "what good does it do to say something........". Well blowing up doesn't work either because that just gets you in trouble, because two wrongs don't make a right.
Anyway, good luck with her. I suggest better communication on your part so that in hindsight you're not saying things like "yeah, I could have done it better, but..............".
opps....I didn't realize the thread was closed. Sorry.