I think I made a mistake- nursing isn't for me...

[shabbypanda]

Hey everyone! I know this topic has probably been discussed so many times but I just really need to get some things off my chest. I am currently in my last year of a BSN program and I work as a nursing assistant in an ICU at a HUGE hospital. I was so excited to land this job and getting in to nursing school and what not, but I really don't think I knew what I was getting myself in to. First off, I do well in nursing school. I've never struggled and I have gotten good grades, but my anxiety levels have always been through the roof. I have hated every single clinical I have been in. I am in peds right now and I don't hate it that much, but I feel like I'm forcing myself to like it. I never knew how much documentation nursing is.... I feel like that is most of what they do! It is so stressful and you are responsible for so much and I HATE it. I'm working in this job that supposed to be a "learning" position (honestly I haven't learned much of anything) and I literally dread going to work. I work as little as possible because I absolutely hate it. I like working with people, that's not the problem. I am just terrified of being responsible for someones life (especially ICU... shout out to you guys, you are amazing!). I think the ICU is cool but it's terrifying, and I can't stand medsurg. I love medicine and I like kids, but I am honestly so terrified. Everyone in my program is so excited to graduate and become nurses but I honestly don't share their excitement and I desperately want to. Have any of you guys felt this way? Or am I alone in this? Because I have cried and had enough anxiety about this and I don't know what to do. I just can't help shake the feeling that I'm not going to be happy as a nurse. This job and school have made me completely miserable. Does that go away? Sorry for the long post, I've just been struggling horribly lately and I hope I am not the only one who has dealt with this. I just don't know what there is out there for me that isn't going to make me have horrible amounts of anxiety where I can't sleep.

[nursej22, MSN, RN]

I urge you to speak to a counselor about your anxiety levels and your feelings about nursing. It is possible that there are other factors at work here that are coming to a head in your last year. You are not the only one to deal with this and you don't have to suffer.

Yes, nursing can be stressful, but also very satisfying and rewarding. Hopefully, you are doing some self-care and de-stressing. Perhaps, this job is just not a good fit for now, especially if you are not sleeping.

Please take care.