I think I cry too much

[Birdy2]

Here lately I have been falling apart with my patients. Most of the time I'm fine and can keep it together. I don't know if I'm just super stressed or what. Or maybe it's these pitiful people i take care of. Some people just make me so sad and for some reason they always talk to me about everything. Even when I'm super busy. Like one day i was pretty behind and I just couldn't walk away from this one patient. My co-workers tell me i need to act busy and just cut them off so I can get my work done. I don't see them in any rooms for that long, but I just can't do that. I mean first of all, I sm busy. And second, I want to be there for them because they don't have anyone else. This week i have had 4 patients share really personal things with me and I probably talked with each of them for at least an hour each shift. I know I need to learn how to tell then I'll talk to them when i finish rounds but sometimes it's an endless round all night and I just want to give these people a friend. Like I said, I have had unusually caring and extremely appreciative patients lately and it's just breaking my heart because they're so sick and yet so nice to put the effort into being kind. I think the little old people get me the most. I have met some of the sweetest people ever. Thankful for my job and just hoping I can start toughening up just a tad lol any tips from the experienced would be awesome

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Practice listening attentively with open body language, but refrain from "conversing." There's a difference between providing emotional support care vs."talking with" a patient. Practice closing remarks that make it clear to the patient that the interaction is about to end, so there are no hurt feelings nor an awkward ending.

Until you get those skills down pat, you might want to set an alarm of some sort on your watch or phone before you go into a talkative patient's room to give yourself an "out." It's a little white lie that preserves the patient's feelings and your commitment to all your patients and your work.

This isn't to say that you can't have a long discussion with patients. I'm not saying that at all. In fact, if structured appropriately, it can provide a wealth of assessment information.

You seem like an exceedingly kind-hearted person who knows what needs to be done, but you're just not sure how to do it. Emotional detachment--as much as possible while retaining compassion--and setting boundaries for yourself is an art that may take considerable time to master. It is also necessary for your own well-being.

Best wishes.

[icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN]

It is not wise to become so emotionally involved with the patients. It is a professional relationship, not a social relationship. It is not your job to be the primary support system. You can offer to help them call a family member, or have Pastoral Care make a visit. The goal is to help them recover from an illness and move on to other support systems.

If this patient has a medical emergency he needs you to be strong and focused, not upset and tearful.

The patients are not your parents, family or friends. It is unhealthy for you to develop emotional attachments to total strangers. You can provide compassionate care and emotional support without developing a close and personal attachment. Talking with a patient for an hour is excessive and not a good use of your time.

We all have used " the rescue me after ten minutes " technique. Have someone call or page you after ten minutes so that you can make your exit gracefully while saying some reassuring to the patient.

There may be a very good reason why these people are friendless and they may be hoping that they can take advantage of your kindness and good nature. If you set limits on the need for constant companionship, you may see an entirely different personality emerge.

Hospitals are selling the illusion and expectation of every patient having their own private duty nurse to cater to every whim and request. The reality is that the patient needs to respect you and your workload and responsibilities.

A simple "I must go now, here is your call light, I will check on you every hour" is all you need to say.