I am struggling with depression

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I'm in my second year of school and I'm really struggling with my mental health.

Maybe nursing has contributed to it but I was struggling before I started. My university are aware of it but I've played it down a lot because I've been worried about what would happen to me.

It's not just general anxiety and depression. I've been diagnosed with PTSD after being sexually assaulted in 2015.

I'm a really good student. I get good grades. I've been told by every nursing mentor Ive had that I am great with patients and families and will make an excellent nurse.

But the last 2 weeks things have gotten really bad. I've had to stay with my parents because in all honesty I've been exhausted by the emotions that come.with being triggered and I don't feel safe. I haven't told uni about this, I've just rang the hospital to tell them I'm sick. I guess I'm worried that my fitness to practice will be questioned but if I'm honest I don't think I am safe to look after patients when I feel so overwhelmed by everything.

I've been like this.before and I usually get better in a few days/ weeks. My new placement don't know anything about me except I've had a lot of time off. I haven't always rang in to tell them I'm not going to be in and I know thats unprofessional.

When I go back I don't know.if I should tell.them what's being going on. Not all the details but maybe say I've had personal problems. I don't know.

I'm worried about finances otherwise I think I would have a break from the course. I feel so sad and overwhelmed by what happened to me and I just want to be looked after till I'm better.

I know I'm a really really good nurse when I'm healthy but I'm not right now and I feel like I'm making everything worse for myself.

I don't really know what I'm asking, I just feel like I'm in a mess and don't know what to do.

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I'm so sorry you're struggling so badly.

You should definitely go seek seek some professional help before this gets worse. We had someone in our program that was struggling badly with anxiety and she got some mental health assistance and then discussed it with the program director. They were very supportive of her and helped her get some special assistance, like taking her tests in a different building that was more quiet.

Remember that your health is your most important priority. Never compromise your health for the sake of a program, no matter what it is.

I wish you the best of luck. Get some help, you're worth it! Big hugs.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

Please take care of yourself - this needs to be your priority.

At the same time, make sure that you follow your program's formal process for withdrawal / leave taking - rather than just ghosting - so that when/if you are ready to return to your studies, it won't be a problem.

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

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I'm so sorry.

Have you tried therapy? It really, really helped me start to process the trauma of my sexual assault. It's been invaluable.

Contact your university and see about a leave of absence so you work on getting to a place that you feel safe and well.

Best of luck to you.

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