I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience to mine and I'm looking for advice. I quit my first nursing job while still in orientation. It just wasn't for me, I tried as hard as I could. I was just slow. I was constantly running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. The whole experience left me questioning if I could even be a nurse. My big struggle was time management. Before coming to the unit, I had no experience with some of the skills or medications used. There was definitely a learning curve and I was way behind. Before taking the position, I shadowed the unit and spoke with some of the other nurses and asked if this would be appropriate for a new grad. There was nothing that made me feel that I wouldn't be supported in my learning. I knew it would be challenging, but I was told they would teach me, and I would learn so much, I would do well etc etc. I wasn't the only new grad nurse to the unit as there were several others that started with me. The other orientees didn't seem interested in sharing their experiences with me, so I don't know if they felt the same way. All throughout my time in orientation I felt I was constantly being compared to the nurses that had been on the unit who had been there for years. I thought that was strange, wasn't it to be expected that a new grad wouldn't be up to the same level as a nurse who had been on the unit for several years, at least while still in orientation?? I felt I was left to stumble through without any real guidance as to how to balance it all. I did have meetings with the unit educator and my preceptor, didn't really help. I didn't feel supported at all. I found myself crying everyday before and after my shift, and even sometimes during them. I resigned from that position, I couldn't do it anymore. I felt like a failure and sometimes I still feel like a failure. I want to try again, but I am terrified of history repeating itself. I will say, I learned sooooo much from my short time on that unit. I probably learned more there than I did in my entire nursing school clinicals, I feel at least I got something out of it, maybe it will prepare me more for my next go around, if I can muster up the courage. I feel like I owe it to myself to try again. I spent so much time and energy in going to school and graduating, I feel it would be a waste if I were to just give up now. I spent years working at that particular hospital also, working my way up through the departments to become a nurse. I feel like that was wasted time as well. I'm the only nurse in the family and I don't have any nursing friends, so it's struggle trying to find someone to talk to about this.
Anyone else have a similar experience? Any advice would be appreciated, thanks for taking the time for reading my story and commenting!
