After 14 years of doing bedside nursing, I have decided that I just can't deal anymore.
I work nightshift and can't physically handle it anymore and I know for a fact that dayshift would make me insane. I am tired of the residents with their political games and their fear of attendings that is so strong that they can't write a simple order for pain medicine without it being a major ordeal, I'm tired of the families and their ten-tons of drama, I'm tired of cleaning up poop and vomit and giving excellent care to patients who view me as a personal maid/slave. I'm tired of fighting with pharmacy to get meds, and I'm tired of getting pulled to other units to be a charge/preceptor. I'm tired of sitting on the toilet at work and being inundated with flyers and messages about mandatory meetings and classes (that interrupt my sleep in between shifts). I'm tired of having back spasms after a 12 hour shift of moving around 300+ pound people. I'm sure you know how much I could go on and on...
I'm just tired. Period.
I only have 4 more shifts of bedside nursing to do, and I'm SO ready to be done with it all. I feel like I've given nursing 1000% of myself, and the return lately has been zilch.
I've taken a Case Management job, and while I know for a fact that it will have many frustrating moments and I will want to pull my hair out, it also means that I'll be off on holidays and weekends, and I'll have a normal sleep pattern for the first time in 14 years, and I'll get to wear nice clothes to work, and I will NOT have to TOUCH another patient. It won't be perfect, I know... but it will be better for my mental health.
I'm kinda sad, because I know I'm a good nurse and I have an excellent knowledge base and great skills, and I've had some fantastic coworkers over the years, and also have a lot of good and funny memories and stories... but I also know I need to do this for me.
