I am physically sick with worry :(

[SmithTNRN]

Ever just feel so stupid and ask yourself why did I do that? Like common sense just flew by for about 5 minutes. Well that happened to me today. I am 18 weeks pregnant and work on a cardiac step down unit. I was giving medications like always, but after washing my hands I just opened the containers and dropped the pills in the container without gloves. I never touched the medication, but it was methotrexate and I just froze and washed my hands. I went to the pharamicist and they all treated me like a dummy...they said "well if you didn't touch the medication why are you so worried" is all I got from them. So helpful. And then I got "do you honestly think any of the medication was absorbed through your skin that quickly?" I wanted to cry with lack of care or concern for me. I even asked an oncologist I hardly even knew in the hallway for his opinion and I got about the same response. Nobody understood my feelings for my unborn child. I just can't help but worry now. I have already had an ultrasound and everything was perfect but can only fear the worse.

[gr8rnpjt, RN]

No doubt this is your first.. it does get better with subsequent pregnancies. That baby is well protected, you have not harmed the baby one bit. Stop obsessing now.. Enjoy your pregnancy. I remember each one very fondly and only remember the obsessive worrying with the first. After 4 you get a lot less crazy.

[JulieCVICURN, BSN, RN]

Seriously? I mean, I'm not pregnant, but I get meds splashed on my fingers all the time. It cracks me up because I'm cardiac ICU and I remember my nursing instructors telling us to not get nitro on our hands because it could lower our BP and we could faint. I've had nitro on my hands many, many times, I don't have hypertension, and yet I've never even gotten a little woozy.

This is a little over the top. I know the med in question is a powerful one, but you didn't touch it. And, even if you had, you washed your hands. If you're worried about being in the same room with dangerous medications, you might want to take FMLA until the pregnancy is over.

[Dinith88]

Dude..you are totally freaking out for no reason...

[patientadv]

Uhhhh... Skin is a barrier.. you touched it for a few seconds? Basic A&P and use your nursing judgement. I think it's safe to say that the baby and you are okay.

[TDCHIM]

I understand the urge to freak out about exposing a fetus to toxins. I was taking a medication with unknown effects on pregnancy for four weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I still beat myself up over that and my child is a preschooler! I end up ripping myself to shreds over developmental hiccups, no matter how minor, even though I have a happy, healthy, intelligent child.

From your description of the incident, you had an infinitesimal amount of exposure. The stress you're putting yourself through while worrying could do more harm than that microbrush with a pharmaceutical toxin. It's really easy during a first pregnancy to let your fears grow out of control, but for the sake of your child, you have to work on reining them in rather than letting them run wild like this.

For your own peace of mind, call your OB to get additional reassurance. While you're on the phone, I suggest you ask for a referral to a counselor so that you can work on managing your anxiety. There are techniques available to help that don't involve medication. Just talking about your fears (I'm using the plural because it sounds like this isn't the only one scampering madly throughout your mind) to a neutral individual can be a significant help. If your employer has an EAP, that could be a good opportunity to get a referral as well.

I'm not criticizing you or calling you crazy. When you realize there's a possibility of harm - no matter how small - to your unborn child, fear can grab you by the throat; at that moment, it's hard to be objective about the overall chance of danger. However, letting that fear eat at you can cause significant stress, and that's not what your body needs while it's already working overtime to support your baby. You have to find an effective way to relieve your apparent anxiety, whether it's talking to a counselor, seeking assistance from a pastor or other religious figure, using breathing techniques and exercise, dropping to part-time in order to spend more time with family and friends during your pregnancy, or something else. I wish you peace of mind during your pregnancy and a happy, healthy baby late this fall! :hug: