I don't love the ICU. Want to go back to Med/Surg?

[supernurse3177, ASN, BSN, LPN, RN]

Hi everyone!

I'm hoping for some general advice r/t medsurg vs. ICU. So as you read in the title, I'm having a really hard time transitioning from Med/Surg to ICU. I worked on Med/Surg in a small community hospital for about 2.5 years. I loved my job very much but we moved further away and the drive was just too much. I decided to switch specialties since I had always been interested in the ICU. I always handled it well when my patients on Med/Surg would tank their BP, I acted quickly during codes and RRT's and all my coworkers affirmed that they could see me doing well in the ICU. My manager even put in a special call to help me get the job, I was so excited.

Fast forward now I'm about 6 months into a CVICU job at a large, Level 1 ICU. All my coworkers are really great, no problems there at all. I just find the ICU in general to be very anxiety producing in me. I find that I am always anxious about what kind of patient I will be given, if I'll be able to handle it, if they will die, etc. I have started seeing a counselor to help me try to get a handle on my anxiety and she affirmed that I am in a severe anxiety state. There are times at work that I start to get lightheaded from all my anxiety and I feel like I am losing some control.

Aside from the anxiety, I just miss my old job. I miss the routine and the steady patients. I miss doing my assessment, med pass, wound care, etc. I miss talking to my patients and making them laugh, celebrating with them for walking a full lap around the floor, anticipating the predictable post-anesthesia urinary retention and knowing what to do, etc. I find that the ICU is very very detailed to the point that it annoys me. Things change so fast you can't really plan for your day. We also do total care in my ICU (No tech's or CNAs) and I hate doing all the bed bath's, BM cleanups, bathroom trips, etc.

Is this sort of a normal transition? Is it just because Med/Surg was my comfort zone and I just need to give myself time to adjust? Ideally I would like to do a full year because I know they put so much effort and money into training me, but I just keep thinking life it too short to be this miserable and why did I mess with a good thing by leaving a specialty I liked? Has anyone else felt this way and did you go back to your old unit?

Thanks for reading. Feeling pretty lost right now!

 

[brissygal, BSN, RN]

Hi SuperNurse3177,

It sounds like you are having a rough time.

Be kind to yourself - your doing an amazing job but I think you have put too much pressure on yourself.

Would it be helpful to talk to your line manager about how your feeling?

I am not an ICU trained nurse (currently out of the USA) so I am not the best person to guide you here - you may be dealing with Covid patients on top of having a huge learning curve. 

Don't feel lost but speak up!

Sending a cyber hug.

[QueenOfTheNuts, ADN]

It's absolutely OK to feel like this.  I left ICU a year ago to do OP m-F 9 to 5, basically.  I missed ICU so much but I couldn't keep up with rotating shifts, they were killing me.  I have worked med surg in a small critical access facility and ICU in a level 2. I know the differences you speak about. 

 

If what you want to do is go back to MS, then do it. If you don't, the anxiety will cause you so many physical, emotional, psychological, and internal problems that you may end up quarrying nursing all together.  Don't do that to yourself.  You thrive in MS. That's 100%OK! We all have our specialties and that's what makes nursing the best.  

Good luck on your decision.  But,  IMO, you do you boo. No one else is gonna fill that nursing cup for you❤❤❤❤❤