I just need some type of support or advice.

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Hi everyone,

I am a nursing student in an accelerated program and feel so inadequate. I was just told by my nursing friend that I'm out to lunch regarding the school schedule and I get made fun of for little things I do. Now I get nervous around everyone and feel like I'm being judged. I'm not like this outside of school. Everyone is in these cliques and I feel so left out. One person mocked me at the table thinking I didn't see and I went home crying. I ended up getting out of their group for a project because I didn't want to be around her. I should have told her what I saw but didn't want to get into a dialogue of who said what. I think the underlying fear is that I won't be a good nurse. I am doing fine in school, except one class when I found out my father has cancer and the entire subject was cancer, I ended up getting a C. I don't think I've ever received a C. It was because I forgot to turn something in.

Aside from this, I was diagnosed with ADD and try so hard to keep on top of things. I went to UC Berkeley and that was WAY easier than this school. I am also in AA, have been sober for 6 years, and feel like I need to take medication for my ADD so people won't make fun of me and so I can improve my grades. But I know they're addictive and have tried the non-stimulants.

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm complaining, I just need some type of support or advice. I think I have such compassion and such a drive to help people but am just stuck in a state of fear. I've been around many nurses in clinical rotations and don't think they seem any smarter than me, but everyone in my class seems so smart and so confident. I know this is my own fault. I think a lot of people in many ways set themselves up for the way they're treated, but I need help figuring out ways to cope.

My questions are:

How do you or did you deal with the cliques? Feeling left out? Feeling judged?

If you do have ADD, how did you keep up with everything? Was there an herb, vitamin or food that helped you focus?

What are ways you have dealt with self confidence issues?

If you are a working nurse now and feel like you're doing a great job, did you ever doubt your competence when you were in school?

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Hi, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I don't have ADD, so I can't speak to that, but I am in an accelerated program. I'm going to let you in on a secret - everyone that I know in an accelerated program is freaking out on the inside. It's so incredibly demanding and really, there is just not enough time in the day to get everything done that needs to get done. Even though these people in your class seem confident, it's a safe assumption that they're not as confident as you think. Here's a trick for class: when I'm feeling unsure of myself, I fake it. I act like I know exactly what I'm doing and have every right to be there. No one but you needs to know that you're unsure about yourself.

My advice to you is to keep your eye on the prize. I don't know how long your program is, but being an accelerated program, graduation will be here before you know it. Focus on your studies, ignore the cliques. Find someone that's not associated with a clique and get to know them. As far as the people making fun of you...well, you can ignore them and let them continue to act like 10 year olds or you can say something. That's on you which route you choose and what you're comfortable with.

Keep your head up and focus on what's important.

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I don't have ADD either, but I do feel inadequate. I'm in my first semester of a 2-year associate degree RN program. I have been getting 90's on exams and I keep on top of my work. In labs, I feel very "behind" everyone else...most people in the program are older than me, are already LNAs or medical assistants or have medical backgrounds.. which i DO NOT. i have ZERO experience with patients, in clinicals, even taking blood pressures! Although I feel inadequate, I just keep telling myself that this is SCHOOL. I'm supposed to be learning, figuring stuff out along the way, and improving my skills. As long as I'm doing that, I feel okay. I'm hoping by the end of the 2 years that I'll feel adequate and I think confidence just comes with real life experience with patients.

As for the cliques, you need to get over it. I know this is harsh but honestly, you're an adult and who cares what other people think? As I said, I feel inadequate compared to my classmates and I think they see that I am not as experienced as them. I just try my hardest, do the task, get it done, and move on. We have open lab days and now that clinicals are over, I plan to go practice my skills.

Keep your head up, don't let others control your fate, and try your hardest! you'll be fine

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You are right. I do need to get over it and realize I'm letting the 10 year old inside get the best of me. Thanks for taking the time to write me your experience.

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Gumby,

Thank you so much. Last night I broke down and just spewed out everything that was bothering me. I feel much better today and it's comforting to hear people are having similar experiences, I don't feel so alone. xo K

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Specializes in Critical Care, Clinical Documentation Specialist.

I'm not in NS yet but finishing up the last of my pre-reqs. I do however have ADD and I am on medication for it. I went to the Dr one semester into school; I had all A's and asked him why would I go on meds if I can get good grades. He just asked me how LONG does it take me? He hit it right on the head. I was taking 2 classes and ALL my time seemed to be spent on those two classes -I called myself the queen of multitasking, but I realize now I was the queen of inefficiency and distractions.

However, after being on my meds, I was able to take 6 classes and still get all As. I don't take pills but rather a dermal patch called Daytrana. I put it on in the morning and its good for about 9 hours. I don't bother wearing it when I'm not working on school and I am in no way addicted to it. It has made things so much easier for me. I'm sure you have come up with compensatory things like living by a daytimer, etc. But, nothing is better than getting tons of stuff done in a day, all because you could sit down for hours straight and CONCENTRATE.

As for the rest I can't give you informed information, except from personal experience. I have learned to say to heck with what other people think!!! I push myself to be the best I can be and if someone doesn't like me for it, or thinks I'm a wiener, I don't care one bit. I'm not there for them, I'm there for ME. I will be the best darn nurse I can be and the only people who matter are my family and those future patients who will rely on me.

Good luck to you sunshine - don't doubt yourself. Do your best and forget the rest!!!

~SD :)

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