I can't handle nursing anymore

[RN416]

Hi everyone. Home health nurse here, used to work in hospital. I love taking care of people and helping people but I can't handle patients and families taking out their stress on me. I'm an extremely sensitive person. I understand that when people's conditions get worse, they become stressed and they often take out their stress on the nurses. I get taken advantage of for my kindness and willingness to help beyond my job description, and I get accused of being selfish and not caring when the family doesn't see that I've busted my butt to help their very sick family member and to try and take some of the burden off of them. How do you handle this? How do you handle patients who are ungrateful and how do you not take their frustrations so personally? It is stressing me out. I got burned out of my last job at a hospital and I don't want this job to burn me out too.

[guest52816]

I wish I had some words of wisdom to share with you, but alas, I do not.

All I can suggest to you, is to keep in mind what you already know. These folks are under a lot of stress themselves, and are not feeling well. They aren't really in a position to judge whether or not you have busted butt for them. They can't see beyond their own immediate needs and wants. It truly isn't personal

In the end, you don't go home with them. You go home with yourself. If you know in your heart that you have done the best you can do, then you just need to feel good about yourself. Yes, it is nice when our patients validate our efforts, but most of the time they won't.

Be kind to yourself and feel free to vent when you need to on Allnurses!

[Avid reader]

What LilNel said. Always remember it's a job. Something you were trained to do. I survived by realizing that if I needed a life saving TX and I had a choice between a a competent, easy going nice Dr and an utter bastard of a Dr who's extremely knowledgeable and experienced, I know what my choice would be. Just cover yourself from c/o's and seek satisfaction elsewhere. It pays the bills, that's all. Professionalism is all that matters!

[Avid reader]

Be kind to yourself and feel free to vent when you need to on Allnurses/QUOTE]

Hate to disagree with this statement but I wouldn't vent here. You appear to be sensitive and there are some cruel folks here. Vent when you are a bit more jaded and hardened. Enjoy your innocence while you can.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

Maintenance of healthy professional boundaries helps the most when they are implemented routinely. There can be creeping guilt when you only implement them here and there, particularly if you utilize how you are feeling on a particular day as your internal reason for not going "above and beyond" when you may have in the past or for a different client. This triggers guilt, which triggers emotional exhaustion and leaves little in reserves to create that boundary that lets the patients or family have their tizzy without it really impacting you, because you already know in your gut what you are doing is enough.

My advice would be to stay firmly within the boundaries of your assignment. You can be kind and caring while you deflect and say "no". Refusing to work outside of what you are being paid to do doesn't make you less caring or a bad nurse. On the contrary, it makes you better, because it keeps YOU healthy.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I get taken advantage of for my kindness and willingness to help beyond my job description, and I get accused of being selfish and not caring when the family doesn't see that I've buste.

I agree with not.done.yet. The sentence above jumped out at me and caused me concerned. Don't blur the lines between your job and your life. You need to establish heatlhy professional boundaries and do not cross them. You are there to provide certain services. Provide them and not much else. If the family needs more, refer them to the agencies/people/etc. that would be appropriate to provide those services. Stay within your job description and protect yourself from being overwhelmed by many different families' needs. You are only 1 person and can't possibly be expected to take on multiple people's needs.