I just wanted to come on here to vent a little and also would like some encouragement and motivation as I feel I'm running out of that. My story is super long, so I'll try to shorten it (I've written about parts of my struggles here before).
First, I got into nursing school for LVN/LPN in 2015 and graduated in 2016. When I graduated, I was ready and excited to start my nursing career and was ready to take the NCLEX. However, I waited a long time to get authorized to test, because I guess they lost my file or some other thing happen (I'm also in Cali). Anyway, I ended up being able to test until June 2017, at this point I was working as a CNA at a SNF while I was waiting to test. Ok, so I passed my NCLEX, first try in 2017 and was looking for a nursing job. Honestly, I've always been afraid to work in SNF because of the heavy responsibility and honestly at this point of having graduated a year ago, I felt like I wasn't smart enough. They had offered me a job there at SNF as an LVN but I had to think about it, since I felt I wasn't smart enough. Fast forward, in mid 2018 I briefly worked as an LVN in a school doing one on one with a little kid. I was there for about a month an a half, didn't really do much besides watching the kid. Then I get a call from a clinic I had applied to when I was working in SNF, to come in for an interview, and I decided to take that job and leave the school job. So I worked at this clinic for 9 months. And this is what happened:
I got fired the day after posting, in 2019. Been without a job since. Basically, since I graduated Nursing school in 2016, I feel like I haven't had a proper nursing job. I waited a whole year just to take the NCLEX, because Cali... So now I feel like I need to go to nursing school again, just to regain all the knowledge. I know of people who went to nursing school after me, and are now nurses, and I just look at myself and think it's been 4 years this year since I graduated. Haven't worked as a nurse (in terms of doing nursing skills I learned in school). I'm starting to doubt myself and think I shouldn't even be a nurse because I'm not smart, I'm not very ambitious at this point because it's been so long and I just feel like I'm never going to get there. I don't have any friends, and I don't have any family members that can give advice or motive me. I'm just on my own and it is a lot easier to get discouraged. I've been unemployed for 6 months now and I've been looking for jobs but they are all agency, so I'm not sure how that works or if that would be good, I also saw one for home health but since I haven't been on my own, I feel like I should work with other nurses and not just start off on my own.
I am now 30 years old, jobless, and afraid to be a nurse (I feel dumb, and like the responsibility will be too much for me). I am so disappointed in myself. I had this dream of being a nurse and it just doesn't seem like it'll happen. I should be working right now, move out, have some money saved up, start my own family, but my life hasn't turned out how I pictured it.
I need some serious motivation, and a hard push to just do things and not be afraid, but like I said, I don't have anyone, so it's easy for me to just feel like giving up.
Well, I guess I still ended up making this post long. Sorry. Any advice? Sometimes it helps to hear I am not the only one that has felt like this, and people went through the same thing and now are successful nurses. At least I hope that can happen. Help!!
It breaks my heart that you don't feel smart enough, because you totally are! I'm currently a CNA in Tennessee. I quit school for medical assisting for pretty much the same reasons you're debating if nursing is still for you. I have very little support. Neither parents went to college. They can't relate. Its so hard. Not to mention I'm 27 and a single mother of 2 girls, ages 5 and 8. Please please please do NOT give up. You have came way too far to stop now. You are NOT dumb, you are smart. You passed your test on the first try after waiting a year!?!? Whaaaat!?! You. Is. Smart. Period. Now get out there and be great! I'm hoping to muster the courage to try to go back to school for my LPN next fall. Best wishes to you!!! Be your own biggest fan, clap for yourself, dont let anything hold you down!
Also I meant to say, you should consider that home health position. The majority of my experience is in home health, and while you are mostly alone with your patient, most agencies will train you very well. Not to mention, you will be working under an RN, and most places ALWAYS have an on-call RN for any questions/concerns. Just because you have a degree doesn't mean you can't ask 1000 questions!!! Even doctors make mistakes and forget things. If you don't know, ask. Don't beat yourself up! You got this!
Hey! so, just a little background— I live in Florida, I’m also 30 and I’m an LPN. I graduated nursing school in 2013 and I didn’t take my nclex until 2019. I put it off because I was afraid to take the test. I didn’t feel as if I was up to par with my peers, felt like a dumb nurse etc. anyway, I miraculously passed the nclex on my first try! I got my first nursing job a month after passing at a snf. I worked there for 3 weeks before getting frustrated and quitting with no back up job. (Pt to nurse ratio 1:56, I was a new nurse and the only nurse on duty so no one else to ask if I had questions. Basically it was the worst job I could’ve picked as a new nurse and one who had been out of the game for years at that). 2 months later, I got a job at a detoxification facility. I started off through an agency. I felt SO stupid. I would come home crying because I thought I was such a terrible nurse who knew nothing! I even thought about switching careers. Fast forward to a year later, the facility hired me as a full time employee rather than An agency nurse and I’m being promoted and my nursing skills have been recognized by the medical director. I never thought I would be in this position a year ago because a year ago I had no clue what I’m doing. I’m not even anywhere close to where I should be as a nurse bc sometimes I still don’t know what I’m doing. My point is, nursing takes practice. You’re going to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing (and I still don’t know what I’m doing lol) and sometimes you may not know what you’re doing but if you don’t know something, research it. That has helped me tremendously. I have also learned from the mistakes I’ve made along the way. Also working in a place that you’re working with other nurses is key. Taking advice from other nurses also helps. Nursing is a learning process. I’m so glad I didn’t give up and change careers. I got accepted into an lpn Rn transition program and start in September. You got this! You have to push YOURSELF. I have completely felt like I am not supposed to be a nurse but pushing myself to be a better one is what got me to where I am today. You made it through nursing school, you’re not as “dumb” as you think (I can bet you’re not dumb at all). If you want to be a nurse, be it. Don’t let your mind get in your way. Sending hugs
Also I meant to say, you should consider that home health position. The majority of my experience is in home health, and while you are mostly alone with your patient, most agencies will train you very well. Not to mention, you will be working under an RN, and most places ALWAYS have an on-call RN for any questions/concerns. Just because you have a degree doesn't mean you can't ask 1000 questions!!! Even doctors make mistakes and forget things. If you don't know, ask. Don't beat yourself up! You got this!
Aaaaww! Can we be friends? Lol you are very encouraging! Thank you for sharing your story with me. It does really help me knowing that there are others who have felt and gone through the same thing I did/am. Especially hearing stories of people who were able to get through it and get a job. It makes me feel like this is only temporary and I will move on and work. You should definitely get your LPN if that's what you really want. I know you will make it, you seem very smart and know what you want. Thank you so much for your encouraging words ?
Hey! so, just a little background— I live in Florida, I’m also 30 and I’m an LPN. I graduated nursing school in 2013 and I didn’t take my nclex until 2019. I put it off because I was afraid to take the test. I didn’t feel as if I was up to par with my peers, felt like a dumb nurse etc. anyway, I miraculously passed the nclex on my first try! I got my first nursing job a month after passing at a snf. I worked there for 3 weeks before getting frustrated and quitting with no back up job. (Pt to nurse ratio 1:56, I was a new nurse and the only nurse on duty so no one else to ask if I had questions. Basically it was the worst job I could’ve picked as a new nurse and one who had been out of the game for years at that). 2 months later, I got a job at a detoxification facility. I started off through an agency. I felt SO stupid. I would come home crying because I thought I was such a terrible nurse who knew nothing! I even thought about switching careers. Fast forward to a year later, the facility hired me as a full time employee rather than An agency nurse and I’m being promoted and my nursing skills have been recognized by the medical director. I never thought I would be in this position a year ago because a year ago I had no clue what I’m doing. I’m not even anywhere close to where I should be as a nurse bc sometimes I still don’t know what I’m doing. My point is, nursing takes practice. You’re going to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing (and I still don’t know what I’m doing lol) and sometimes you may not know what you’re doing but if you don’t know something, research it. That has helped me tremendously. I have also learned from the mistakes I’ve made along the way. Also working in a place that you’re working with other nurses is key. Taking advice from other nurses also helps. Nursing is a learning process. I’m so glad I didn’t give up and change careers. I got accepted into an lpn Rn transition program and start in September. You got this! You have to push YOURSELF. I have completely felt like I am not supposed to be a nurse but pushing myself to be a better one is what got me to where I am today. You made it through nursing school, you’re not as “dumb” as you think (I can bet you’re not dumb at all). If you want to be a nurse, be it. Don’t let your mind get in your way. Sending hugs
Hi NurseAsh89. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm glad to know there are other people who were once in the same situation as I am right now. It really shows that things do get better. I'm so happy to learn that there are other people who at one point felt "dumb" but were still able to get jobs and get through it. I will push myself and try not to let my mind get in my way. Hugs to you too ?
It's 2021, are you feeling better? I'd like to thank scribblz for the advice given. I needed some encouragement myself. Did you find that helpful, I sure did! I know I'm reading this much later, but you should definitely listen to scribblz.
I just read your post on vaccines. I have some advice for you too, but I'm posting that separately. I'm a CNA, came out of retirement in January last year after not working since 2007. I was basically brand new and got re-licensed last year as soon as test centers reopened. I was scared to death and definitely felt dumb and like my skills were outdated. I know nursing is definitely more intense education wise, but the point is I didn't let it stop me.
I don't have a support system either. But I've met so many supportive and kind nurses and CNA's since then. At the moment, I'm applying to LPN schools, no matter how dumb I feel. The nurses I work with gave me references for jobs and schools.
I've done a lot of networking. I've had the opportunity to work at agencies, a hospital, and LTC. Now I'm trying LTAC. All because I wouldn't let fear stand in my way. Or lack of confidence. If you let your fear stop you will miss out on the networking opportunities, camaraderie, and support from your fellow nurses.
Yes, there is always stress right now. The pandemic makes it worse. But, I've never seen so much team work, love, and support in my entire life.
If you don't feel confident, maybe you could take a refresher course. Find a job you're comfortable with and maybe start PRN so there isn't any commitment if you hate it.
I'm not a nurse though. Scribblz, what do you think? What's a good way to build up your confidence? Good luck to you. Come back to nursing, we need you!
When I first started nursing I used to say that I knew less about nursing when I graduated nursing school than I did when I started.
It doesn't seem dumb to be aware of and humbled by the demands of the job. Dumb is a dead end, awareness is the start of a journey. Don't let this bumpy start derail you from your journey.
Jodi Smith, CNA
2 Posts
Hello,
It breaks my heart that you don't feel smart enough, because you totally are! I'm currently a CNA in Tennessee. I quit school for medical assisting for pretty much the same reasons you're debating if nursing is still for you. I have very little support. Neither parents went to college. They can't relate. Its so hard. Not to mention I'm 27 and a single mother of 2 girls, ages 5 and 8. Please please please do NOT give up. You have came way too far to stop now. You are NOT dumb, you are smart. You passed your test on the first try after waiting a year!?!? Whaaaat!?! You. Is. Smart. Period. Now get out there and be great! I'm hoping to muster the courage to try to go back to school for my LPN next fall. Best wishes to you!!! Be your own biggest fan, clap for yourself, dont let anything hold you down!