I feel incompetent

[June1617]

I feel like I'm not very good at this at all. I'm a second semester nursing student and I still feel awkward making conversations with patients. I feel like a failure during SIM labs and I often feel like I can't answer the instructor's questions (not all the time, but most of the time). I love nursing, I really want to do this and make a difference in people's lives but I feel like I'm not ready to care for a patient. Does anyone have any tips on improving my communication skills? I think that's the biggest reason as to why I'm feeling like this.

[xxstarrynitesxx]

This may seem like a silly question as I know some schools require this (not all schools are the same though as I am learning more and more), but have you taken a communications course? My school accepts either a public speaking or interpersonal course. I would highly recommend taking one (interpersonal) or both when you have the chance.

I had a coworker a few years back tell me that she used to be incredibly shy and awkward. I was completely taken aback as she was the loudest and most outgoing person there. My first day she went out of her way to make me feel welcomed, something I greatly appreciated. She told me she had read some self-help books and made an effort to step out of her shell. If she had never told me that, I would never have known.

Have you had the opportunity to discuss your performance with your instructor(s) or fellow students? You may be able to get additional lab hours in or get guidance as to what you could do to get to where you want to be. Always better to ask earlier in the game. Let your professor know what you noticed about yourself. A fellow student may be able to give you some tips as well. If you see someone who totally rocks a portion you are not confident in, do not be afraid to ask how they do it. You may be able to get some conversation/question pointers or have someone to help you practice in general.

I hope this gives a little bit of help! Best of luck.

[Nurse Beth, MSN]

Give yourself time and trust the process. You are not alone in your feelings- feeling awkward is actually normal. Confidence and becoming comfortable comes with exposure and you are still new to the experience.

When you are talking to someone, listen mindfully and focus on them. Ask questions "Tell me more about that".

Also use reflective listening. Here's an example:

"My brother died after his heart attack and now I've had one"

"That must be scary"

You can practice reflective listening anywhere, anytime to build the skill. Here's an example from a cashier at a checkout:

"It's been crazy busy today!"

"Looks like you've had a lot of customers"

You'll find that people respond and keep talking when you show interest.

You can do this! Best wishes.

[oops I bradyed again]

Check out motivational interviewing:

and therapeutic communication: NurseReview.Org - Therapeutic Communication Techniques