I am not a failure

[SnowShoeRN]

2 months away from graduating my MSN program to take my NP boards this summer I've decided to defer to next year. Our program has an option where we can take another year to complete our clinical hours. So I am. I have had a lot of health issues this past year. And my future mother-in-law has cancer. And it's just been a really really hard year.

So after the 2 directors of my program told me I looked the worst they'd ever seen me (I used to work closely with them as a grad assistant) and I started crying, they told me they wanted me to switch to part time.

I know this is the healthier option and that it will give me more free time, time to spend with my fiancee and his mom, time to complete clinicals (and probably better placements too), but it'll also make the financial piece that much harder. And I'm having such a hard time not seeing it as my giving up on myself. I've worked SO hard on this program for the past 3 years. And it sucks when you expect something to go a certain way and make plans for that and then it changes. I know that ultimately I was the one to change it. But I don't believe the reasons I decided to defer are my fault.

I know that's how the world works. I'm not naive. But I *am* disappointed. My Dad tells me I'm making the right decision, that I'm not a failure, and to not look back. I'm just hoping I can come to peace with this decision sooner rather than later.

[Krzysztof]

Your Dad is right. You're not a failure; you haven't failed! You've made the tough choice to put that "finish line" a little further ahead so that you can cross it with the confidence and composure of a champion! It seems to me that you considered the opinions of very trustworthy and respected individuals in your life, had a frank conversation with yourself, and reexamined your timeline. And although you'll face a few more payments, you'll be better off overall. You've recognized that now is not the perfect time for you. That is not failure. That's success!

Best of luck to you!

[MECO28, BSN, RN]

There is something to be said for putting life first. About 2 months into my RN-to-BSN program I had the epiphany that I actually don't want to go to grad school afterwards even though that had been the original goal. I was hyper-focused for too many years on my education and now, in my thirties, I want to concentrate on the rest of life- raising a family, etc.

You only get one shot at life. Enjoy it!!!

[Cavalier123]

Take care of yourself and life first then you will be in a better place to complete your studies

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

Things come up and sometimes a dream has to be delayed. Remember people first, then money, then things as Suze Orman always signs off with. Before you know it another year will be done and you will be an NP. You are doing the right thing for yourself and your loved ones. Now you will be able to spend time with your family and get well yourself. When you finish you will be in a better frame of mind and able to concentrate and study and do better at clinicals.