I failed twice, please help!!

[lee_soon22]

Hi,

It's been about a year since I failed nursing school twice. I failed both 1 semester. The first time I was really anxious and scared as I havent been in school for a while since i got my bachelors in nutrition. I was failing because I wasnt as focused as I had financial problems and well a bad relationship. I was too much into my head to really focus and the material was just not sticking into my head. My clinical teacher told me I probably am not going to be a nurse and practically looked into my background gpa which is a 2.6 and told if nursing was for me because of it. He made me feel really incompetent and pressured that I ended up crying before taking the test. But my friends in the class told me to not give up and i WANTED to show him that I was. So I prepared myself into coming back by taking his pathophysiology class and also a physiology class to show the school and him that I was serious to come back. Except, I got him again as my clinical instructor. And instead he kepted reminding me that I failed and it was my second time back to my new fellow classmates. I dont have anything wrong with people knowing that I repeated. I wanted to start over and focus. But he practically made sure i wasn't going to pass. He basically made me so anxious and nervous that I regretted going back to the same program. I failed again because not only could i focus to comprehend the material that was being taught, but I developed so much pressure into trying to not fail again. I was more worried. Not to mention, it felt like I was being bullied because I am a quiet person and I dont like to talk much and i mind my own business. But the way I was treated felt like I didnt belong and no one wanted to help me. If I didnt have him the second time, I probably would have passed. But since I did, i failed. Now i am so depressed, my family thinks im a failure, and now i literally do not know how to move on. I still want to become a nurse, but now I am scared and scarred to go back. Plus, with my gpa 2.6 and my bachelors in nutrition how can i get back into the game. What can I do differently and how can I handle feeling so useless as my parents tell me. I tried looking into graduate programs but they require 3.0 to be even considered and other RN programs seem to be too far away. Does anyone have any advice as to how I can get my life back together? I wouldnt be posting this if i werent this desperate because I am really tired of feeling sorry for myself. I really want some letters beside my name and be something. Also, i apologize for my gramma, im crying as I'm typing this since I realize how much it still stings to know I failed twice.

[JKL33]

9 hours ago, lee_soon22 said:

I wouldnt be posting this if i werent this desperate because I am really tired of feeling sorry for myself.

You're headed in the right direction, then! It's a new day!! ☀️

9 hours ago, lee_soon22 said:

I was too much into my head to really focus and the material was just not sticking into my head.

On the whole, this problem does intimately involve being too much "in one's own head." You have to get to a mental/emotional point where you are willing to fight vigorously against your own idea that others determine your success or failure and that whatever they say/do/think about you determines what you are. I cannot emphasize enough: *YOU* can find the power to react differently in such a way that limits others' ability to invoke one disappointment after another.

Please hang in here and bear with me as I am going to re-phrase some things that you wrote in your post:

9 hours ago, lee_soon22 said:

He made me feel really incompetent and pressured that I ended up crying before taking the test.

"I felt incompetent and cried."

9 hours ago, lee_soon22 said:

And instead he kepted reminding me that I failed and it was my second time back to my new fellow classmates.

"I listened and I wasted minutes of my precious life giving him an audience for his mean words."

9 hours ago, lee_soon22 said:

He basically made me so anxious and nervous that I regretted going back to the same program.

"I allowed one person, whom I already knew to be against me, to rankle me by simply moving his stupid mouth or looking at me."

9 hours ago, lee_soon22 said:

But the way I was treated felt like I didnt belong and no one wanted to help me.

"I didn't get in the game and interact with others and ask for help. I did not take steps that people must take when they want to succeed."

9 hours ago, lee_soon22 said:

If I didnt have him the second time, I probably would have passed. But since I did, i failed.

"I allowed myself to believe that none of this has anything to do with me, only with him."

****

I know what all of this seems like to you, and I understand that you are reporting your lived experience. But you must understand that others produce different results often because they react differently--it isn't just that their lives are somehow easier. You can learn to do that, too. You are not the first person who has had someone out for them, and this guy isn't the first (and definitely won't be the last) person who likes to pick on perceived weakness. There is only one thing to do about it, and that is to work on not being perceived as weak, and then to carefully keep things in proper perspective so that others' poor intentions cause minimal damage.

I think a professional (one who can help you focus on empowerment, not make excuses) can best help you with this. It's going to involve learning to think differently. You must find your strength.

It sounds like you are at a point where you know something has to change - - so that is an exciting thing you should feel good about ? and I encourage you to reach out. Take one uncomfortable step at a time, put one foot in front of the other, and conquer it. Don't look back. ??