I Am Stuck

[Natkat, BSN, MSN, RN]

A little background to start. I'll try to keep it short but it's a lot. I have been a dialysis nurse my whole career. I took a travel position and they liked me and wanted me to hire on permanently with the contingency that I get my BSN within 2 years.

Did that.

There was a supervisory position open in the department that had been vacant for 3 years. My coworkers suggested I apply for it. I approached the manager and asked what I needed to do to qualify. She said to enroll in a master's degree program. I didn't have to have the master's degree to start. I just needed to enroll.

Did that.

They gave the job to someone else. I went ahead and finished my master's degree because I figured I might as well since I started it anyway. All i heard was that if I had a master's degree, I could go anywhere - do anything. It would open doors for me.

I took a job as a research nurse for a about year, but between the four hour commute - each day - and the toxic atmosphere, I decided it wasn't for me. I decided to go back to dialysis because I felt comfortable and there wouldn't be a long learning curve.

Well.

I took a job as the nurse manager at a chronic unit. The prior manager blew the place up. So many things were done wrong - taking patients off 30 minutes early every Saturday so everyone could go home early, no assessments done on new patients at all, charge nurse can't be found and not even physically in the building, and so much more.

So I come in to do the job and went through orientation, but the person I would replace refused to train me. I managed to coordinate my own training, sort of, and finished orientation. About a week later BAM! Here comes the state. We had an immediate IJ and have been working under conditions for a couple of months. So now everyone is looking at me like I did it. I barely had any training and I've been working hard to try and learn everything, but to them, I'm not catching on fast enough. The other day I was written up. I have never even been counseled or talked to, much less written up, in all my years as a nurse!

I have tried to find a job - any job - to get out of there and no one will hire me. I can't transfer out because I've been written up, and you can't transfer if you have been written up.

It could be that maybe I am in over my head and I am not qualified for this. I have made some dumb mistakes, but I feel overwhelmed every single day. There is no time for me to grow into this position because they are coming back some time this week, probably tomorrow, to decide whether or not they are going to close us down.

In any other time or place I feel like I could succeed at this, but trying to fix several years with of damage while all my work is under a microscope is just horrible.

At this point I am desperate to do something else. I have no other experience besides dialysis, and that keeps coming back to bite me. I thought about maybe working a little while in med surg to get some experience, but to be honest, I don't know if I can keep up. I have applied as an assistant DON at nursing homes and LTACs, but without experience they won't hire me. I have applied for radiology, nurse IT, case management, OR, endoscopy, and a few others I can't think of right now. I even tried to get a job at a doctor's office and NOBODY will hire me.

So here I am with 10 years of dialysis experience, a BSN, and MSN......and no prospects. Where do I go from here?

[TriciaJ, RN]

The expression "No good deed goes unpunished" comes to mind. You took on a job trying to clean up someone else's mess and now you're drowning in the mess. Can you get another dialysis travel position, just to pay the bills until you figure out what next?

I think this thread really doesn't belong in the Dialysis/Renal/Urology section, because it's really a work/career problem. If you posted under General Nursing or Nursing and Professionalism, you might get more views and responses. In any case I'm wishing you all the best and hope a solution presents itself soon. Hang in there.