I am really needing some advice or positive thoughts PLEASE. I just recently got my first CNA job at a really nice SNF. I had 3 days of shadowing which didn't seem too bad. But my first day on my own was a whole different story. I got my list of residents and tried to read up on all of their conditions, problems etc, but there was SOO much information I pretty much forgot it all as soon as I left the nurse station.
My biggest concern is hurting the residents. I am SO scared of accidentally hurting them and sending them to the emergency room. I have already made some mistakes I hate to even admit. There was one resident (I had another CNA with me to show me how she usually helps the resident so the CNA positioned her wheel chair like usual) that I was helping to stand at the toilet and her leg hit part of her wheelchair and she started saying "owww" so I lowered her backdown and she started crying. The other CNA said, here I'll take care of her, you go get the other call lights. I almost started crying, I couldn't believe I just hurt someone on my first shift!! --Later that CNA said that it happened to her on her first time with that resident too, which made me feel a little better.
THEN I was walking down the hall and saw a call light on a room that wasn't mine, but I went in anyway to help out. The resident was shouting "HURRY HURRY I'm not going to make it" So I rushed in to help her to the bathroom, she was practically running to the toilet and she rushed me so quickly that I didn't notice she had a feeding tube underneath her oxygen tubes in her nose. She said that it was pulling so I ran into the other room and got the stand so that there was slack. OMG. So then I ran to get the nurse to check and make sure the tube wasn't pulled out. The nurse came in a measured the tube and said it was fine and that it wasn't pulled out and she said "Good thing your feeding tube wasn't pulled out or I would have to send you straight to emergency" OH MY GOD I almost caused a resident a trip to the ER on my first day!!! I'm not an idiot, and it's not that I don't care, there are just SOOO many things to remember and it's so easy to forget them during a stressful time when a resident is rushing you.
I instantly burst into tears the moment my shift was over. I can't handle the pressure. It is SO stressful to have somebodies safety and well-being in your own hands. If something serious happens to a resident and it is MY fault I don't think I could ever forgive myself. Am I too weak to be a CNA?? Is healthcare really not for me??