How to stop talking to old people like they're children

[Just_Kidney, ADN, BSN, RN]

I'm a CNA at an independent living/retirement home/supported living center. I work with elderly people with varying degrees of dementia, from mild forgetfulness to severe dementia. One thing that has always bothered me when I've watched other people work with old people is hearing them spoken to like they're small children. Now I understand that it's helpful and necessary to use simple language, to slow down, to explain something one step at a time, but it's the tone of voice that bothers me, that higher pitched, drawn out way of talking that people use with two year olds.

My problem, however, is that I often find myself slipping into that when I'm talking with these people and I hate it. I want to use my grown-up voice, make them feel respected, while at the same time, helping them to understand what's going on. I never thought it would be such a hard balance to strike, but it is for me and I have to constantly watch my tone of voice. Does anyone else have this problem, and how do you deal with it? How do you talk to people with more limited comprehension like the adults that they are?

[mvm2]

All I can say is just keep trying. I just talk to them like they were my father and mother. The one thing I have that is hard for me is remembering not to say honey and sweetie. I never say it disrespectfully but it just seems to come out that way. Try practicing if you have the chance. Talk to the mirror and try to keep the adult tone in your voice as you are speaking. Also don't be too hard on yourself because you know that when you slip into it you are not trying to be disrespectful it just sometimes happens

[Fanie_Mae]

I haven't been in your specific situation but I do agree that there is a fine line there..... Maybe you're looking at it the wrong way. I think we associate that way of talking with children because we see it more often. Everyone has kids and we see it day in and day out. Speaking slowly, with a kind tone isn't just they way we speak to children but the way you would speak to anyone who has a hard time understanding or hearing. I mean, I imagine that no one is trying to get them to "open wide for the airplane". Just use your grown up voice and when you find that they are having trouble comprehending... soften it up and slow it down a bit. You don't have to talk to them like toddlers...You want them to feel respected but you also want them to feel cared for. I don't know how well I answered the question but... eh thats my take on it. Hope it helps!