How to "break up" with a preceptor...

Published

Specializes in ED.

So I have requested on several occasions to switch preceptors and finally its happening, 1/3 of the way into my orientation. Well, I'm just glad its finally happening. However, my next shift is tomorrow and my old preceptor will also be working that day... So now I have to face the daunting task of "breaking up" with him and telling him it just isn't working out and I've been assigned to a new preceptor.

Any suggestions on how to hand down this news gently? (even though that is so not how he handles patients or medics :uhoh3:)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

Don't think (or talk) about it as a "break up." That makes it seem personal and like a bigger deal than it is. Smile, be pleasant. Always express appreciation for what he taught you, etc. Don't criticize him as a preceptor or say that you requested a change because you were disatisfied with him

There is no need to explain anything or to make a big deal about it. If you find yourself in a situation where you have to say something, take some of the "hit" yourself and simply say that you and the orientation coordinator (whoever that is) thought you would benefit by working with some other preceptors -- that the switch would help your learning.

Don't get drawn into making a big drama out of something that is commonplace in nursing. Keep it friendly and low key.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ED.
Don't think (or talk) about it as a "break up." That makes it seem personal and like a bigger deal than it is. Smile, be pleasant. Always express appreciation for what he taught you, etc. Don't criticize him as a preceptor or say that you requested a change because you were disatisfied with him

There is no need to explain anything or to make a big deal about it. If you find yourself in a situation where you have to say something, take some of the "hit" yourself and simply say that you and the orientation coordinator (whoever that is) thought you would benefit by working with some other preceptors -- that the switch would help your learning.

Don't get drawn into making a big drama out of something that is commonplace in nursing. Keep it friendly and low key.

Thank you! I definitely wasn't going to even mention why I requested a change. I know I will be working with him still, so I definitely didn't want to burn any bridges. I was planning on communicating that my schedule didn't mesh well with his already set schedule and requested to switch preceptors for that week so that I could be available for a family event and that the educators felt it best I have consistency with my preceptor so they wanted me to just switch now. Hopefully that will be fine.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

Sounds like a good plan, boogeysmomRN

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OB/GYN, Peds, School Nurse, DD.

I'd probably just say that you had schedule conflicts and that the nurse manager reassigned you. You don't need to "break up." This isn't a personal relationship. I asked to be reassigned at one of my jobs. I was working in a very large NICU and my preceptor was burned out on precepting--I was her 5th new nurse in about 6 months. She was really a B****, too. That came naturally, I think.:uhoh3: She had a vacation scheduled about 3 weeks into my orientation and I used that opportunity to make the leap to a different preceptor.THe second one was a great teacher, very patient, very competent, and a lot of fun. Just what I needed!:yeah:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Cardiac.

A friend of mine who was precepting on the same unit as me told our manager she wanted a new preceptor as well (she was horrible!). So the NM pulled the woman into the office,while my friend was working with her that day, and told her how she wasnt doing a good job and that her orientee requested a new preceptor! Then they had to finish out the day together! Talk about awkward. At least that didnt happen!

It happens all the time sometimes personalities don't mesh.I'm sure he'll understand.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ED.
A friend of mine who was precepting on the same unit as me told our manager she wanted a new preceptor as well (she was horrible!). So the NM pulled the woman into the office,while my friend was working with her that day, and told her how she wasnt doing a good job and that her orientee requested a new preceptor! Then they had to finish out the day together! Talk about awkward. At least that didnt happen!

It happens all the time sometimes personalities don't mesh.I'm sure he'll understand.

Wow, that IS awkward. I know its impossible not to take it personal, but it really is just the way that I need to learn vs him being a bad teacher. I chatted with another nurse who had the same original preceptor as I did, and she thought his style worked great for her. Hopefully it will all work out in the end. :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion