How do I fix being "too reserved??"

[ScientistSalarian]

I'm about halfway through my first semester and the feedback I've been getting from my clinical instructor is that I'm too reserved around her and my classmates. I was told as much at the end of our first rotation (LTC); while the review of my performance with my patients was positive my instructor felt that wasn't communicative enough with her throughout the course of the clinical day. Which is a completely legitimate criticism - I'm aware that I'm a very quiet, reserved person and tend to be overwhelmed in group settings (and we have a few big talkers in my clinical group).

So for our second rotation (med/surg) I've been making a concerted effort to be more outgoing - smiling, small talk, checking in often with my instructor, speaking up during group discussions, etc. I honestly thought I was making decent progress but I've just been told - again, and more firmly - that I need to be more outgoing and participate more in our end-of-shift conferences.

I'm just a bit frustrated because I felt like I was being more outgoing, but maybe when I think I'm operating at an 8, my instructor sees me at a 3 (if that makes any sense at all). I'm reserved and often choose to hold my tongue but I'm not at all shy, and have no problems with meeting new people or developing a rapport with patients. The feedback I've gotten from the nurses I've worked with regarding communication has been generally positive as well. My clinical score counts for 60% of my class grade, and it's frustrating to think that so much is riding on something so subjective. I know I'm supposed to just fake it 'till I make it but I'm apparently pretty bad at that.

Sorry for the long post; if anyone has any advice, feedback, etc. I'd love to hear it. Otherwise, thanks for letting me vent :)

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

write down some questions. Ask them periodically throughout the day. If you have any down time, go to the instructor and let her know you are looking for something to do. Ask can you do a 5 minute presentation about a drug, therapy, lab or whatever. You have to put yourself out there. Be glad you are now aware of what this instructor wants because you have the opportunity to make a change.

[minniebrown]

I'm more of a quiet person and I've gotten feedback to be more assertive/talkative. It can be difficult if it is your personality, but I've found that it gets better with practice. You could try making more small talk with your instructor and classmates. Current events is always a good place to start, as well as sports, movies, tv, etc. I tell myself that in the grand scheme of things, it is a relatively small thing to improve on, but it is important.

[ScientistSalarian]

Thanks for the replies, you guys gave me some great suggestions. I think my instructor may think I'm operating too independently too soon so I'm going to add a little box to check off on my hourly schedule to remind myself to check in with her frequently. At post-conferences I think I just need to be more aggressive about chiming in during group discussions; it's just hard when there are about five people all trying to talk over each other at once. Not usually my style to add to the fray but what the heck, I'll give it a go.

[Brian_G]

You seem intelligent and very capable of written communication, and you have a good self observation, so I would suggest that you keep doing what you're doing in your efforts to break out of your shell - you'll get there. Stay confident that you have the skills to be a great nurse. One thing I would suggest is that you ally yourself to one of your boisterous classmates. You can change others perception of you just by surrounding yourself with new people.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

I recommend this all the time. This woman is me-- I am not Susan Cain, but I did bring the books to summer camp. :) She has some very interesting insights into introverts, and you sound like you could change her mind about you.

[loriangel14, RN]

If you are getting this feedback from one person only it may be more of a problem with HER perception of you than how you are actually acting. I wouldn't worry about it. There are quiet nurses too.The only thing you need to be concened about is having enough backbone to advocate for your patients and stand up against the rude ones. you don't need to be a chatterbox to be a good nurse.

[coolinbysound]

Maybe it has something to do with your body language or tone of voice? Or you aren't looking like you are interested during clinical or maybe you don't look very approachable. Possibly your voice tone when you talk doesn't have much emotion or it's really low. These could be factors as to why your nursing instructor is getting on your case.