How do you deal?

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Have any of you dealt with this type of person, and if so, how did you handle it? I spend more time blocking out the static and negativity from him when my goal is to fix the problems that exist. I come up with pertinent solutions, but cannot get him to listen because he is spouting off about how bad things are. UGH!!!!

[roser13, ASN, RN]

What would you say if you went over his head? On what grounds would you file a complaint?

I think circumventing the ladder of authority should be used for concrete issues that have been ignored or that you are convinced have been handled poorly, and about which you feel strongly. Going over his head because he is negative and frustrating is a pretty global complaint. I'm a strong believer in trying not to complain about something without having a solution or potential fix in mind. How would you recommend that the director's personality be "fixed"?

Unfortunately, there are all types of personalities in management and it seems to me that you have a choice to either learn to deal or find a way to move on. I guess it depends upon how much this guy's negativity affects your job performance and your state of mind.

Good luck...I think this is a tough one.

[Jolie, BSN]

In your most polite, deferential tone of voice, gently inform Mr. Big that you are sorry for his difficulties but that you came in to discuss XYZ, and you will ask again...

When that doesn't work (and it won't, because he thinks that everything is all about him), give him one more try...

Mr. Big, I see that you are unable to help me work this out. I believe that it is necessary at this point to go up to Mr. Really Big. Would you like to go with me, or should I make an appointment myself?

If the prospect of going over his head doesn't shock him into action, then you really do need to go up the food chain.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

what would you say if you went over his head? on what grounds would you file a complaint?

i think circumventing the ladder of authority should be used for concrete issues that have been ignored or that you are convinced have been handled poorly, and about which you feel strongly. going over his head because he is negative and frustrating is a pretty global complaint. i'm a strong believer in trying not to complain about something without having a solution or potential fix in mind. how would you recommend that the director's personality be "fixed"?

i see what you are saying, and i have tried to generalize in the respect to the length of my post. i have very pointed incidents that i have recorded regarding issues that should be addressed. i do not, and would not ever think that i have control over his personality. that isn't my issue. my issue is that i have concrete answers to problems that are occurring on a daily basis, but i cannot get him to stop and listen. i have even gone so far as to put together a formal proposal to give some solutions to our issues. when i handed this proposal to him, he thumbed through it, tossed it aside and went on another spiel.

unfortunately, there are all types of personalities in management and it seems to me that you have a choice to either learn to deal or find a way to move on. i guess it depends upon how much this guy's negativity affects your job performance and your state of mind.

you are so right! i hesitate to move on, because i know that things will improve, and we will bounce back to become the unit that we were. staffing has been awfully short, and that will help tremendously. i guess i am hoping that once we get up to full staff, some of the stress for him will abate.

good luck...i think this is a tough one.

thank you!

[GHGoonette, BSN, RN]

My Unit Manager does this all the time-tell her you're tired, she'll tell you about all the things she has to do, and how stressed she is. So I tell her to delegate more of her work (she's constitutionally incapable of delegating). Tell her you need xy or z piece of equipment, she'll go on and on about how the other items she ordered previously haven't been approved. So I tell her to go over the acquisitions manager's head, make an appointment to see the senior CEO and complain properly instead of sending an email (they never seem to take email communications seriously, do they?).

What I'm going to do is, the next time she pulls this one-upmanship, I'm going to tell her your story; managers who just whine about their problems, or go on the defensive instead of addressing issues affecting their staff, just end up damaging morale.