How to deal with hostility?

[MyFairLady88]

I just finished a placement in a hospital ED department a month ago. Something plaguing my mind. I found the staff to be extremely friendly. Everyone was friendly, encouraging of my learning and very smiling and kind (even the doctors).

I got used to this kind of atmosphere so I became friendly and would smile at everyone (not absolutely everyone, but at least most people because I'd interacted with them). I was being friendly with one of the orderlys, and straight away he began scowling at me and I think he got the wrong idea (I think he thought it was flirtation).

No offense, but why would any nursing student begin a flirtation with anyone on placement? Not only unprofessional but no offense but this was a very old man and I am a very young student.

He began to be extremely unfriendly but this was in the last three weeks of my 8 week placement (clinical). He must have spoke to his fellow orderly friends and they began being rude to me too. I spoke to my father about it (my father is a doctor) and he told me it's silly to care because I only had two weeks to go (at the time) and because I was just a student I shouldn't do anything. If I was working there then maybe I could have complained or just confronted him. He told me that as a doctor there are many doctors he would love to just argue with because of the passive aggressiveness, but he would never do it as a professional. I understand but this was definitely bullying and intimidating.

So for two weeks, just because I want to get my degree, I ignored all the orderlys unless I had to speak to them because of the aggressive attitude they all displayed. Bearing in mind all I did was smile at one I had spoken to before a number of times. I passed my placement, but it is still plaguing me because I care about my future job and the patients I will be taking care of. Patient priority is first and foremost, but I cannot work with someone hostile with me.

I have to apply to graduate entry very soon (Australian system, you apply mid year for a job when you are in your last year of nursing) and as much I would like to apply to work in that hospital (and could actually get the job) I can't stand the idea of having to deal with hostility if I ended up in that ward (ED). I don't want to be silly and immature and ruin my chances of getting a job (seeing as they are scarce here), so how can I deal with conflict (especially unspoken conflict like this)? It is just an orderly, but he would terrorize me everywhere I went (he was in the ward very often). Like in the hallways and whenever he would see me. It was very intimidating.

I want to know if I can do something about this. I cannot just ignore it because I want to focus on taking care of the patient and advancing my career and being a good nurse once I graduate. I don't need some scowling at me, being rude and generally terrorizing me whilst I am trying to take care of a patient (he did this in front of my mentors and they pretended not to notice it because they got along with him).

I hope this does not sound immature, but I just need advice on workplace conflict (for the future). I have seen harsh responses on here so I hope I don't get any for my question.

Thanks.

[middleagednurse]

As you enter the world of work you will encounter all types of people. Mean people, nice people, and everything in between. Make it a habit to be kind and polite to every person you encounter. The meaner they are the nicer and more polite you need to be. This way, you will have nothing to regret. Sometimes you won't understand why people behave the way they do, but generally mean people are sorely in need of kindness. Some people just don't understand social niceties.

[loriangel14, RN]

In what way was he "terrorizing" you? Just scowling is not really that big of a deal.

[jotec]

Better to learn early on as opposed to later, but you can't please everyone. If someone does not want to interact with you move on. Based on your post you seem like a kind, caring person so it is their loss. Do not get hung up do your job and shrug it off.

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

What exactly was the terrorizing before? Did he ever say words to you? You will need to have some thick skin in the real world. It's part of life.

[Adele_Michal7, ASN, RN]

Maybe he has resting b**ch face

[rnsheri]

You have choices. You can either confront him with "OK, you seem pissed at me, and I don't know why, but I'm tired of this so let me know and we'll go from there." Or use those therapeutic communication techniques if you need to, but those never worked for me in a situation like yours. Or you can pretend to ignore him, though that might compromise patient care. You could talk to the charge about it, but I would address him first.

Whatever you do don't sound condescending. The great therapeutic communication techniques you learned in nursing school may irritate coworkers. I always go for direct. And unless he is threatening you, talking down to you, or ignoring you to the detriment of your patient, he's more of a aggravation than a terrorist. I would be careful with those kind of words. But that's just me and honestly I don't know what he's said or done to you. Some people perceive a slight that isn't there or isn't what was intended. Best of luck to you!