Dear Nurse Beth Advice Column - The following letter submitted anonymously in search for answers. Join the conversation!
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I'm having a hard time finding an RN position that I fit into. I've had my license since 2017 and have my ADN. My first job was in acute care on a Tele unit. I only made it a few shifts after orientation before I was pushed by management to resign. I felt that I did not retain any information from my preceptor and when it came time to be on my own, I was paralyzed with anxiety and could not preform. (Looking back, If I were the manager, I would not had let me stay in that position either, huge liability and a danger to patients.) Got myself some help with anxiety, it's a little better... After I left that position, it took me a year to gain enough confidence to want to jump back into nursing. A family member invited me to work for a hospice for which she was an office manager for. It was a complete disaster. The nurse manager was never present, most of the patients didn't even qualify for hospice, I had ZERO training, in fact, my first day working, I was sent to see a patient who ended up passing during my visit and my family member/office manager, who has no medical title or background, had to walk me through on what to do. I should have ran for the hills, but, being so green, I stuck it out for a year. After gaining some sense, I left the hospice position and started working at an LTAC. I didn't completely hate working there, I felt that I was very good at my job, I truly learned a lot, but the facility itself was very sub par and held no standard of care. It took my three years to realize that I could do better I then started a position on a med-surg unit in an acute care community hospital. I dreaded every single shift, I felt inadequate compared to my peers, couldn't mentally handle the patient-to-nurse abuse, nursing supervisors were always on the floor making up for inadequate staffing... blah blah blah...I always wanted to quit but never did anything about it. Then my husband and I became pregnant and I left for maternity leave after only being there for just over a year. After having my baby, I was hit with incredibly bad postpartum depression and anxiety and ended up resigning instead of returning to work My manager was supportive and invited me to come back when I felt ready. I've been home now for a year. I finally feel ready to go back into the workforce but do not want to go back to my last position. I want to love my job, I want to feel confident. I don't feel that I'm fit for a fast paced, unpredictable, or high-stress environment. And I definitely don't want to keep jumping from job to job. How can I find where I fit in?
Published
I'm having a hard time finding an RN position that I fit into. I've had my license since 2017 and have my ADN. My first job was in acute care on a Tele unit. I only made it a few shifts after orientation before I was pushed by management to resign. I felt that I did not retain any information from my preceptor and when it came time to be on my own, I was paralyzed with anxiety and could not preform. (Looking back, If I were the manager, I would not had let me stay in that position either, huge liability and a danger to patients.) Got myself some help with anxiety, it's a little better... After I left that position, it took me a year to gain enough confidence to want to jump back into nursing. A family member invited me to work for a hospice for which she was an office manager for. It was a complete disaster. The nurse manager was never present, most of the patients didn't even qualify for hospice, I had ZERO training, in fact, my first day working, I was sent to see a patient who ended up passing during my visit and my family member/office manager, who has no medical title or background, had to walk me through on what to do. I should have ran for the hills, but, being so green, I stuck it out for a year. After gaining some sense, I left the hospice position and started working at an LTAC. I didn't completely hate working there, I felt that I was very good at my job, I truly learned a lot, but the facility itself was very sub par and held no standard of care. It took my three years to realize that I could do better I then started a position on a med-surg unit in an acute care community hospital. I dreaded every single shift, I felt inadequate compared to my peers, couldn't mentally handle the patient-to-nurse abuse, nursing supervisors were always on the floor making up for inadequate staffing... blah blah blah...I always wanted to quit but never did anything about it. Then my husband and I became pregnant and I left for maternity leave after only being there for just over a year. After having my baby, I was hit with incredibly bad postpartum depression and anxiety and ended up resigning instead of returning to work My manager was supportive and invited me to come back when I felt ready. I've been home now for a year. I finally feel ready to go back into the workforce but do not want to go back to my last position. I want to love my job, I want to feel confident. I don't feel that I'm fit for a fast paced, unpredictable, or high-stress environment. And I definitely don't want to keep jumping from job to job. How can I find where I fit in?
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