What can I do or say???

Specialties Hospice

Published

I have a patient 94 yo, patient. Cannot walk. If he could he would sleep himself into oblivion. However, his family insist on dragging this poor man for half the day. They force feed him breakfast lunch and dinner. Patient has severe dysphagia. It's getting worse everyday. I explain that it's because of the decline in his status. I explain everything a million times. I explain nutritional changes, food for comfort, aspiration precautions. Family refuses to let up! They keep asking me why I can't fix it. Why don't I give him a pill to help him swallow. They believe there is something stuck in his throat even though I explain that he just isn't able to swallow well anymore! The poor patient moans and coughs...them force feeding him is just making him suffer. I stay there for hours each visit trying to explain to them disease progression, aspiration pneumonia, mechanics of dysphagia, hospice role. They don't listen! I don't know what else I can do to stop them from choking their dad every meal. Please give advice.

Specializes in PICU, NICU, L&D, Public Health, Hospice.
The son called me again today. Tearful begging me to visit. I always visited on Fridays. I had 5 other patients to see, but I stopped by quickly. He was still so sad and crying inconsolably. His family are at loss on how to help him. This 40 year old man spent his life loving and taking care of his dad. He quit his job when his dad got weak and took care of him. Now he doesn't know what to do with himself. This poor guy. Being in the house today without my patient there...it was weird. He was my first admit as a hospice nurse. So he meant a lot to me. I'm glad he is in peace though now.

Has this son agreed to meet with your grief professional?

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Specializes in Hospice, Case Mgt., RN Consultant, ICU.

I think you did everything in your power to prepare the son! Denial can be so strong when to others reality is so clear, but thank you for your compassion and kindness. Such a sad situation. Calling the on call chaplain is the only additional thing you could have done, but maybe you did and just did not write it here.

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I think you did everything in your power to prepare the son! Denial can be so strong when to others reality is so clear, but thank you for your compassion and kindness. Such a sad situation. Calling the on call chaplain is the only additional thing you could have done, but maybe you did and just did not write it here.

Family refused chaplain services. Called the MSW to come STAT.

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