Horizontal Violence/Gossip Vent

[drmorton2b]

As a male nurse I always thought I was immune to this. I am starting to feel it and become a gossiper myself. My goal is to stop this habit I am developing. Especially since I am now at a new facility and as always I am constantly reassessing my own nursing practice.

I know people aren't perfect.. But when a few nurses are totally missing pages of forms and not signing it ticks me off because Information I need it totally missing.

Because my job encompasses updating

things (Kardexs, etc.). And I'm not writing a med or treatment

without seeing the order. I don't care if you said you called the

Doctor.. I need to see it in writing. This problem is starting to go

away thankfully.

Unless its standard admission or protocol order (example Epipen or Tylenol).. I need the written order...

No writing it in the MAR or in your Nurses Note or verbally telling me doesn't count. Because if its not written so the doctor can sign it if something goes wrong every nurse who gave that med or treatment will get blamed for that error.

You better believe in a higher power too if you don't have a written order and you do a med or treatment and the patient has a reaction to the treatment. Since you never wrote out the order. The Doctor who is much more likely to get sued

and have a long drawn out medical malpractice trial will quickly deny

he or she gave such order. I've been on 2 medical malpractice juries.

One case took TEN years to go to trial! The Nurse will always be the

first kicked out the door if it came down to a Doctor being fired and

you being fired. They will always chose you.

I no longer can get mad at these nurses anymore and bash their practice openly anymore..this leads to gossip (its so hard not to sometimes..) I have to

figure a way to say no comment. I know I can't hire a spokesperson to

be with me 24/7.

Horizontal Violence exists in Nursing big time. I can see why they have done studies on this. A lot may have to do with the fact that its a bunch of women (sorry but its true go to any Scrub Store and looks in the mens section). and men of various cultures and backgrounds who deal and view with things differently

under stressful circumstances that can be literally life or death.

Also in some cases Doctors. Doctors sometimes get Doctor Rage when things aren't working out with their patient. I have never seen it happen but read about it and its similar to road rage. Its in some of the Suzanne Gordon books.

I have done better at keeping my private affairs private. But I am sick and tired of this... I do my job the best I can for 8 hours and I go home. I don't care if I get a

compliment or not. I don't care if you don't like working with me.

I saved the same nurses who put me down behind my back quite a few

times while they were asleep (I work nights always have and always

will). Yellowing out a Med Order that if it was given would have

probably ended your career. Or calling the insurance company waiting

for hours for them to call back because you either forgot or were to

busy fiddling around online and mismanaging your time. If I didn't get that auth we

wouldn't have gotten paid losing the company $$$ and NO COMPANY likes

when they lose $$ because someone didn't do a simple task to prevent

this. I order all of your supplies. Filing your paperwork in the

right chart. Find allergies you miss that are life threatening. I

make your job easier. On top of this I do the same Nursing Duties you

do. I come to work to work. They don't pay me to gossip or sit online

all night. Just because I work 11-7 doesn't make me any less of a

nurse.

This is the solution to the problem I

have been having with gossip. I try to ignore it and as long as it

doesn't involve danger to my patients or lose of my job or my license

I try not to care:

-My goal is to provide the safest nursing care I can provide reasonably in 8 hours while protecting my nursing license at all costs.

-To NOT gossip I need to stop. It isn't who is screwing who kind of gossip it mostly involves me bashing other nurses poor practices and it needs to stop. But I need to stop unless it involves a pertinent patient care issues (example Nurse A didn't get or do this then fine so I will tell Nurse A when they come back in the AM or try to rectify the problem on my own or with the oncoming 7-3 shift). Other then that I don't care how I was treated by another nurse. I need to learn ways to SHUT IT DOWN and prevent it from happening and snowballing.

On a scale of Low-High I rate this a medium threat. I'm going to start going no comment mode

and start saying so and so isn't here and it didn't happen on our

time. I am just amazed at the lack of oversight and horizontal

violence that occurs in Nursing. Its like I don't really care. No

one can be trusted... Its like I'm a police officer at times and I

have to worry if a suspect is going to try to do me harm (to my

reputation).

-Remember the 3 rules.

1. Does it affect patient safety?

2. Is my license on the line?

3. Is my job on the line/discliplinary action going to happen? If I answer no to all

3 questions then there is no reason to discuss it. Unless that other

nurse did something that will affect patient safety on my time/into

next shift I don't care. Lets talk about anything else except other

people, politics, religion and sex.

-I need to learn that I am no longer in administration/planning position like I was in my past job. I need to do my 8 hours tie up any lose ends before I leave and

go home. I wasn't hired to be Miss America (or Mr.) and be everyone's

friend. I will treat you with respect but I am tired of these games.

I'm no longer sending out the Calvary to defend anyone via gossip

except myself.

Its always misconstrued and I'm tired of it all. So I

need a Patriot Missile way to avoid gossiping a way to detect it

coming towards me and redirect it and make it inert. Also go into no

comment mode when it involves an issue that doesn't involve me. I

don't really care that so and so nurse got eves instead of days. I

have often wondered how Military Nurses handle things and I bet

there is gossip. But they have a core mission saving lives of

service members. Plain and simple. Plus pride people lack pride in

their job with the exception of one older nurse no one has pride at

my place.

I never really cared that certain people don't like working with me. If you don't like working with me then well tough. I really don't care. My goal is to avoid drama and

do goal # 1. I know I will always take flak as a Nurse or in any job.

That being said there is no other job on earth I'd rather do. If I

think of all the little things I have done for my patients just the

last week alone that have produced positive results it far outweighs

the gossip which I need to avoid. It needs to become a habit like

exercising or meditation.

[ProgressiveActivist, BSN, RN]

1- When you gossip/bash a coworker you just make yourself look bad. Insecure people gossip A LOT.

2- Not sure where you work but I would let the slackers be held accountable for their screw ups.

3- Avoid people who always try to turn a conversation around to a negative commentary about people who aren't there. Those who gossip with you will gossip about you.

4- Nip it in the bud. Let it be known that such conversations are innappropriate and a violation of the code of conduct.

[thorsmom]

I enjoyed reading your post but would like to point out that gossip is not a "female" or "male" thing. When women do it, it's called gossip. When men do it, it's called something else that's not so insulting, like "talking" or "discussing".

[commonsense]

As a male nurse I always thought I was immune to this. I am starting to feel it and become a gossiper myself. My goal is to stop this habit I am developing. Especially since I am now at a new facility and as always I am constantly reassessing my own nursing practice.

I know people aren't perfect.. But when a few nurses are totally missing pages of forms and not signing it ticks me off because Information I need it totally missing.

Because my job encompasses updating

things (Kardexs, etc.). And I'm not writing a med or treatment

without seeing the order. I don't care if you said you called the

Doctor.. I need to see it in writing. This problem is starting to go

away thankfully.

Unless its standard admission or protocol order (example Epipen or Tylenol).. I need the written order...

No writing it in the MAR or in your Nurses Note or verbally telling me doesn't count. Because if its not written so the doctor can sign it if something goes wrong every nurse who gave that med or treatment will get blamed for that error.

You better believe in a higher power too if you don't have a written order and you do a med or treatment and the patient has a reaction to the treatment. Since you never wrote out the order. The Doctor who is much more likely to get sued

and have a long drawn out medical malpractice trial will quickly deny

he or she gave such order. I've been on 2 medical malpractice juries.

One case took TEN years to go to trial! The Nurse will always be the

first kicked out the door if it came down to a Doctor being fired and

you being fired. They will always chose you.

I no longer can get mad at these nurses anymore and bash their practice openly anymore..this leads to gossip (its so hard not to sometimes..) I have to

figure a way to say no comment. I know I can't hire a spokesperson to

be with me 24/7.

Horizontal Violence exists in Nursing big time. I can see why they have done studies on this. A lot may have to do with the fact that its a bunch of women (sorry but its true go to any Scrub Store and looks in the mens section). and men of various cultures and backgrounds who deal and view with things differently

under stressful circumstances that can be literally life or death.

Also in some cases Doctors. Doctors sometimes get Doctor Rage when things aren't working out with their patient. I have never seen it happen but read about it and its similar to road rage. Its in some of the Suzanne Gordon books.

I have done better at keeping my private affairs private. But I am sick and tired of this... I do my job the best I can for 8 hours and I go home. I don't care if I get a

compliment or not. I don't care if you don't like working with me.

I saved the same nurses who put me down behind my back quite a few

times while they were asleep (I work nights always have and always

will). Yellowing out a Med Order that if it was given would have

probably ended your career. Or calling the insurance company waiting

for hours for them to call back because you either forgot or were to

busy fiddling around online and mismanaging your time. If I didn't get that auth we

wouldn't have gotten paid losing the company $$$ and NO COMPANY likes

when they lose $$ because someone didn't do a simple task to prevent

this. I order all of your supplies. Filing your paperwork in the

right chart. Find allergies you miss that are life threatening. I

make your job easier. On top of this I do the same Nursing Duties you

do. I come to work to work. They don't pay me to gossip or sit online

all night. Just because I work 11-7 doesn't make me any less of a

nurse.

This is the solution to the problem I

have been having with gossip. I try to ignore it and as long as it

doesn't involve danger to my patients or lose of my job or my license

I try not to care:

-My goal is to provide the safest nursing care I can provide reasonably in 8 hours while protecting my nursing license at all costs.

-To NOT gossip I need to stop. It isn't who is screwing who kind of gossip it mostly involves me bashing other nurses poor practices and it needs to stop. But I need to stop unless it involves a pertinent patient care issues (example Nurse A didn't get or do this then fine so I will tell Nurse A when they come back in the AM or try to rectify the problem on my own or with the oncoming 7-3 shift). Other then that I don't care how I was treated by another nurse. I need to learn ways to SHUT IT DOWN and prevent it from happening and snowballing.

On a scale of Low-High I rate this a medium threat. I'm going to start going no comment mode

and start saying so and so isn't here and it didn't happen on our

time. I am just amazed at the lack of oversight and horizontal

violence that occurs in Nursing. Its like I don't really care. No

one can be trusted... Its like I'm a police officer at times and I

have to worry if a suspect is going to try to do me harm (to my

reputation).

-Remember the 3 rules.

1. Does it affect patient safety?

2. Is my license on the line?

3. Is my job on the line/discliplinary action going to happen? If I answer no to all

3 questions then there is no reason to discuss it. Unless that other

nurse did something that will affect patient safety on my time/into

next shift I don't care. Lets talk about anything else except other

people, politics, religion and sex.

-I need to learn that I am no longer in administration/planning position like I was in my past job. I need to do my 8 hours tie up any lose ends before I leave and

go home. I wasn't hired to be Miss America (or Mr.) and be everyone's

friend. I will treat you with respect but I am tired of these games.

I'm no longer sending out the Calvary to defend anyone via gossip

except myself.

Its always misconstrued and I'm tired of it all. So I

need a Patriot Missile way to avoid gossiping a way to detect it

coming towards me and redirect it and make it inert. Also go into no

comment mode when it involves an issue that doesn't involve me. I

don't really care that so and so nurse got eves instead of days. I

have often wondered how Military Nurses handle things and I bet

there is gossip. But they have a core mission saving lives of

service members. Plain and simple. Plus pride people lack pride in

their job with the exception of one older nurse no one has pride at

my place.

I never really cared that certain people don't like working with me. If you don't like working with me then well tough. I really don't care. My goal is to avoid drama and

do goal # 1. I know I will always take flak as a Nurse or in any job.

That being said there is no other job on earth I'd rather do. If I

think of all the little things I have done for my patients just the

last week alone that have produced positive results it far outweighs

the gossip which I need to avoid. It needs to become a habit like

exercising or meditation.

You've realized you're participating in activities that you do not like yourself participating in. That's the first step, now you've got to change it. My advice is the same advice that parents have given children for thousands of years, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." It sounds simple, and really is, it will also save you from getting involved in the gossip circle.

[gonzalal]

Do we work in the same practice????

I'm the only male in my department and this happens every day at any time...

sorry to hear that and i feel you!