I've worked very hard for the past 10 weeks or so weeks, and I managed to get really good grades on my first block. This block, it will be a struggle to get one of my grades up to where I think it should be.
Until yesterday, I hadn't cried in nursing school due to the stress. Yesterday, I took a test that I felt unprepared for. My preparation for a test is days long, and I just didn't have the time, and I was exhausted on top of it. I was talking to a couple of my classmates about the test, and I could feel it coming. I don't know why...but it was coming. The tears started, and I explained that I missed my family because NS felt like a 24/7 job.
I went to a trusted instructor and talked to her about it. She, too, encouraged me to let go of this impossibly high bar related to grades that I set for myself. She made it clear that standards of care and preparation in clinicals should never be lowered, but the theory/testing part could be relaxed a bit.
I'm trying, but today the effect of relaxing is one of loathing for what I have to do today. I have a care plan due at 5 p.m., and I just can't get working on it. I've already done all the "work" in clinical, but the actual writing down of the care plan seems out of my reach today. On top of it, I have ANOTHER test AND a paper due on Monday.
I've hit The Wall.
I don't know what encouragement or words of commisseration I'm looking for. I guess I just needed to tell a bunch of strangers about it. Thanks for listening. :)
