help. i think im being bullied

[aeejness]

I am a pediatric nurse since 2011 last november i was promoted to picu in my home country. By december i got a job abroad with a contract of 4 years. May this year i resigned and went abroad for work. I was assigned to CCU for 3 months then rotated to sicu until now. In this country most of the staffs who are 🤐 nationality are either oc/policy freak/perfectionist.i am fully aware that im still a work in progress and much to learn about adults and critical care since my experience was roughly a year what i just dont understand was why these people are very critical on me . i havent had patients since i got transfered to sicu because my preceptor's feedback was awful. obviously awful to think that she only handled me for 3 days.all i do is help.help.plot v/s. documentation. but the real accountability. none. i want to have my own patient already but they just dont trust me...i feel degraded,belittle. im losing my confidence.ive been pleasing them by being a yes girl just to get their approval but until now im still a "help"..im frustrated already to please them.sometimes i want to confront them already but i just cant.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I am a pediatric nurse since 2011 last november i was promoted to picu in my home country. By december i got a job abroad with a contract of 4 years. May this year i resigned and went abroad for work. I was assigned to CCU for 3 months then rotated to sicu until now. In this country most of the staffs who are ������ nationality are either oc/policy freak/perfectionist.i am fully aware that im still a work in progress and much to learn about adults and critical care since my experience was roughly a year what i just dont understand was why these people are very critical on me . i havent had patients since i got transfered to sicu because my preceptor's feedback was awful. obviously awful to think that she only handled me for 3 days.all i do is help.help.plot v/s. documentation. but the real accountability. none. i want to have my own patient already but they just dont trust me...i feel degraded,belittle. im losing my confidence.ive been pleasing them by being a yes girl just to get their approval but until now im still a "help"..im frustrated already to please them.sometimes i want to confront them already but i just cant.

Bullying? I don't think so, but then you haven't given us much information about your interactions with the staff at your current job.

You are still new to adult critical care nursing, so of course you have much to learn. Your preceptor's job is to be critical until she thinks you can be trusted to care for a patient. You haven't given us any examples of your preceptor being critical, her awful feedback or any actually bullying. I'm not even sure what you mean by "awful feedback." Was her feedback critical of your awful performance? Or was her feedback delivered or worded in an awful manner?

If I have an orientee from another country who does not communicate well in English (and your written communication skills could use some work although I know nothing about your verbal skills), I would keep them documenting and documenting until they were able to do so correctly and consistently before I turned them loose on a patient. That's our process at my job. I don't see how they could trust you when they just don't know you.

Losing your confidence, feeling belittled or degraded seems to be on you as you haven't given us any examples of being actually bullied. Give it some time and master what you're being given to do. Confrontation is probably not a good idea.

It's difficult to move to a different country where the culture and the language is different. Perhaps your culture is clashing with the culture in the unit. It's up to you to adapt to them, not up to them to adapt to you. Good luck.

[aeejness]

@rubyvee they always gossip about you, they tell you that your incompetent, confused, and slow.

[NanikRN]

@rubyvee they always gossip about you, they tell you that your incompetent, confused, and slow.

Well, are you? Have you asked them why they say that? Have you asked what they think you need to change? Are you learning from their feedback?

Do an honest appraisal of your skill set. Don't assume that the nurses are bullying you. To solve any problem, you have to start with what the problem is. You can't fix it if you don't know what's wrong.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

@rubyvee they always gossip about you, they tell you that your incompetent, confused, and slow.

ARE you incompetent and slow? How do you know they're gossiping about you?

It sounds like you really need to have a chat with your preceptors and find out exactly what they see you doing wrong and what you need to do to be competent. It doesn't sound as though there's much actual communicating going on.

[aeejness]

@rubyvee@nanikrn thats what my charge nurse told me. she warned me regarding their culture. how competitive they are and how they see me. i have been a preceptor as well but never did i belittle nor emphasize on my orientees' weakness . where is the encouragement? all they do is talk behind my back without even giving me any feedback at all. preceptor???? i dont have a preceptor at all! im on my own. i mentioned earlier that she only handled me for 3 duties and thats it im alone since then. im just learning the hard way right now since nobody is there to even guide me. if i became too assertive they dont like it and they will tell me dont do this and that coz this is my patient.you are just my help.how degrading ! if i please them too much they will use me until my back hurts so much turning 4 intubated patients every 2 hrs without fail.you will be endorsed even in the smallest of things . am i competent? i wont be here if im not.it's just that i have so many things to learn in critical care but doesnt mean i dont deserve to be herr.

[aeejness]

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