Help! stay or go?

[takeiteasynyc]

Im still on orientation and am going to be evaluated soon at my new ED position. (i have yr+ of prior experience in an different ED) There's a chance I might be let go due to minor non-life threatening mistakes i've made and lack of morale. There are parts of the ED i love and am completely amazed by---continuous learning, being around strong and capable co-wrkers, always having the MD present and there are parts I hate. The hustling, the continuous under staffing issue. The shift I'm slotted to go into, nights has a 1:10 ratio, and becomes 1:20 when you cover breaks on top of being called to the trauma room when a notification arrives. This leaves the rest of my pts uncared for for however long I am in the trauma. If my team is strong and not busy taking care of their load they can watch my board. If not, I have to clean up when I'm done. The trauma room in my last ER job wasn't staffed in such a way. we had designated trauma nurses and MDs there the whole shift. Some of the nurses here just make it work..I have no clue how..it's not safe in my eyes. it's not ideal but people do it...I'm amazed and feel a little bad about myself

In anycase, I'm not sure what to do or say when my evaluation comes up. I want to hold onto my benefits (100% tuition, medical, pension, union), increase in salary and try to transfer into another dept ASAP but I'll have to stay in this ED for a bit and push through till I'm unionized or after a yr. Or the alternative, let it go, do agency work and start my search all over. Defer graduate school another semester which I did since starting the job :/ ..I'm drained, there are knots in my back and am very ambivalent about the ED esp. nyc EDs..

[takeiteasynyc]

we use ED techs. there's 1:3 nurses supposedly but they get pulled out to watch observation/ psych pts/ 1:1, transport, cover breaks so half the time theyre not easily available.

Wanted to add that I brought up my issue several weeks ago to a union rep to see what my alternatives were despite not being unionized and he asked if I wanted to transfer out. I said yes and found out recently that he went to the director of nursing, who went to my ED nurse director who now wants to meet with me Tuesday early in the am. I've made minor mistakes like not document an ulcer or creating a med discrepancy by returning an extra percocet when I took an extra one out by accident. They wrote me up. I'm almost certain that theyre not recommending a transfer on my part and it's more termination.

So Tuesday, I'm supposed to meet the ED director and it's been a pain/ a week in limbo trying to set that up. At the beginning of the week I was told by my manager to go to my charge nurse to schedule myself for the coming week- the week of my evaluation. Exact words were " you have to, or you wouldnt be on the payroll schedule". The charge gets back to me this Thursday and tells me she'll definitely have me on a schedule by Friday. Fri I hear nothing, only word from the union rep that my director was looking for me so I set up a meeting through email with the ED director. She tells me tuesday at 9am, doesn't respond to me in terms of location and Im left hanging again. I'm pretty proactive but honesty don't want to be proactive in my own firing..lol... I want badly to resign on good standing but at this point with how unprofessional they've been/ stringing me along I just want to email my resignation and I am really scared that they wouldn't give me the option to resign.....the professionalism I've seem so far makes that option questionable.

[icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN]

Buck up and go to that meeting. Nobody gets fired over a percocet or a documentation error.

Seriously, it sounds like they need you more than you need them.

That union rep sounds like a pot stirrer.