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Help, my priorities are a mess

Updated | Posted
Nurse Beth Nurse Beth, MSN (Columnist) Educator Columnist Innovator Expert Nurse

Specializes in Med Surg, Tele, ICU, Ortho. Has 30 years experience.

Dear Nurse Beth,

So, I have 7 years nursing experience. I have been a CNA, LVN, RN since 2006 now, in 2012 I passed the NCLEX-RN. I have done Med Surg Tele, home health, inpatient psych, correctional nursing, and travel.

Most of my jobs don't end well, due to the strain being in school full time and working full time takes. It took me 10 years to realize I was killing my nursing career by jumping around from job to job.

Now I have a MSN, with a FNP certificate. All I have to do is pass the FNP national certification board (just one).

I'm in looking for a job mode constantly.

Last month I began a Med/Surg (GI) floor a hour away with weekend option ($38/hr).
I have a nursing home job that is unreliable in hours $28.50/hr (5min drive).
I put off starting an assisted living (glorified medication assistant) position to start orientation at the GI med/surg that is $30/hr and 30 min away.

Last week I had an acute dialysis nurse interview, they are going to call me in a couple of weeks. 12 hour shifts, $30-35/hr, benefits, 30 min - 1 hr drive depending on the demand.

This week I go for a nursing teaching position at a renowned university. I don't know what the salary is, it's a hour away; except I think they will pay for my Doctorate. Also, if I go full time, I can get nursing educator loan forgiveness.

My priorities are a mess.

I went broke putting off studying for that test since last July (over 6 months). Now that I am getting back on my feet, I have too many goals.

I also was accepted into a Psych NP - certification program, and have another waiting on me to pass the FNP certification exam.

Med/Surg is really demanding.
That is why I am calling around for dialysis, home health, nurse educator or some other role. It's like I'm constantly planning to get fired, so I'm collecting jobs. If I can just pass that certification I can have other problems!

I'm building back up from being broke, fired expectantly, cut from the schedule, or let go in the past 6 months.
I also keep in touch with temp agencies.

Dear Priorities,

The solution is not about which job you should take and stick with...because you won't be able to stick with it. Your problem is within yourself and your problem will always be with you, job to job, until it's addressed.

Whatever fears and anxieties are driving your behavior are working against you and your talents and abilities.You are self-sabotaging and you know it, but you can't stop. You can't commit and you get yourself fired. You say you anticipate being fired, so you're protecting yourself by collecting jobs. Could getting fired be a self-fullfilling destiny?

The best thing you can do for yourself is get some counseling to sort out what's really going on. Trust in the process because it will change your life so you can be the best you.

Best wishes,

Nurse Beth

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