help please - child (long)

[sixes]

Bless your Heart.

May you have a Merry Xmas and may God bless your home

What you have done is wonderful

My husband and I (a few years back) took in his 3 nephews

Chuck is now 19 and autistic.

tony and willy are 15 and 13

We took over chuck's care when his Grandmother died ( his mother was unable to care for him) and We took inn the other 2 when their father went to jail.

I had 3 of my own from a previous marriage

My husband has helped raise 5 boys ( the daughter was on her own)

We just treated all of them the same. same rules etc.

One never got more or less.

Treat her like your own. With X-mas just a few short days away Santa can give her some extras and then like the above posts take her shopping let her know the budget and make a pact that when she starts her first part time job or finishs school that she will pay you back slowly.

This will boost herself esteem and give her some confidence in her future.

Tony and Willy's dad has been living with us for the past 8 months. He is getting his life together and will soon move into a management postion with a local food chain. They will be getting there own place in the New Year.

Even though there Dad is here the still come to my husband and I for guidance and always ask our permission to do things.

The other day Tony won 2 hockey passes he came home very excited and he said " Uncle Wayne look what I won will you come to the game with me?"

We had to gently remind him that perhaps he should ask his Dad if he'd like to enjoy the special time with him. I feel bad for his Dad but proud that they think so much of us.

To make a long story short do for her like you would your own.

Lots of hugs kisses and most of all let her know that she belongs.

Sounds like a great teen with a rough past

glad there is someone out there to look out for her

MERRY CHRISTMAS

:kiss :kiss

[stressednurse]

When I was still married and living on the ex's family "farm".(15 acres in what is now prime property) I befriended quite a few young men and women while volunteering for the cooperative extension service.

I hired a young teen to clean stalls and help me put up some fence one summer. I didn't really have the money nor the need to hire someone, he just seemed like he needed that at the time. ( long story of family dysfunction stuff)

Well the little 5' something kid grew up to about 6'2" in a short time. I only knew him for that summer...

I was approached about 3 or 4 years after that by some tall and quite good looking man in the grocery store. He approached me with a big smile and a very big hug. Explained to my startled face who he was and who he is now and thanked me for helping him in his most difficult time. He also invited me to his church for sunday services. What a difference, and for some reason he felt I had helped him.

Just being there when there is a need helps.

Treat her like she is a human, just as you treat others. People do learn from example, be her example on how to live life.

The dark side of my helping kids was a troubled young teen female who loved to talk to my horses. She would come over occasionally and clean stalls, oil tack, brush horses and help me with the mares that would arrive for breeding to my stallion. Just so she could ride anything....she was so quiet and gentle with the horses that I could trust her with some of the training I was paid to do and offered her some of the money for her assistance. She never developed a regular schedule, just seemed she arrived during her darkest times to regroup. The horses seemed to understand her, as though they could read her mind and even the spooky ones didn't give her a hard time.

Well the bad thing is one day while volunteering as a paramedic, she had a dark time with no where to go I assume. I was in the middle of divorcing my ex so no more horses to talk to. She put a shotgun in her mouth and pulled the trigger. That was the hardest call I ever had to go on.

You are special to offer to be family to this young adult, she sounds like a special person with lots of potential. Just do what seems right to you and your family. Make her one of your own, thats what she needs.

[KaroSnowQueen, RN]

We took in several youngsters. One in particular came from a dreadully troubled family and he was such a good kid. He moved in, we provided for him just as we did our own kids, he followed the rules, etc. He was a groomsman at our oldest daughter's wedding, listed in the wedding announcement in the paper as her brother, and was in the "family" photo taken there.

He lived with us until he was nearly 22. He brought his new baby to see us when his girlfriend gave birth. He keeps in touch and we know he loves us and we love him.

Tell her you are accepting her as your new daughter and you are doing all these things for her because you love her and want her to succeed in life. True love means so much to these kids!