Will husband ever understand? (Need to vent)

[goingback]

Ugh. I've been a nurse for 20 years--ER always (and some other units). On my feet 8-12 hours a day for 20 years. Now for the last year I got a knee injury and then knee and hip pain. All wear and tear and overuse DX--patellarfoemoral syndrome, piriformis syndrome. It is so hard when you are in pain to work, let alone do your PT and exercise as well. I am one of those who takes care of everyone else before myself and my body shows it. Yes I am overweight--don't exercise like I should, but diet is reasonably ok. Stress has been huge (work and family issues). While work stress is being resolved, family stress (husband) still there. Last year this time--I was working out 4 -5 days a week, had lost 12 lbs, but then got a knee injury which has not involved more things. I can still work, I am doing PT for my hips/knees, but it is very hard to exercise (especially cardio) when I have hip and knee pain I am limited and it is a fine balance of not doing too much so that pain isn't worse (got to still be able to go into work to pay the bills). So when I complain in the evening of my hips and knees hurting husband says "well don't you think its your weight. You need to exercise" He doesn't get it. Yes I am overweight, and that has not helped anything and I am sure made things worse, but so is 20 years of being on your feet. How do I get his to have more compassion for me. I am exercising, I can't do the kickboxing or zumba that I want to because of my injuries. I can't even go up and down a flight of stairs without a lot of pain/difficulty. I can only walk for short amount of time. (I have a complicated condition--otherday I walked around at a festival for 2 hours with no real problems minor pain--but then my muscles were apparently so fatigued I literally could not lift my leg to get into car (my husband just rolled his eyes at me). I am doing best I can. He is not understanding, he resents that I ask him to help out with house or taking groceries in when I tell him I'm in pain. It seems like he is unsympathetic to my pain because he thinks I have caused my problems due to being overweight only. Am I wrong? Lazy? I am doing best I can.

[Dianna11]

Hi goingback. Sadly, I know exactly where you are coming from.

While in nursing school, my bf almost abandoned me. Apparently, me quitting my well paid full time job was too much for him. He never understood the struggles of nursing school.. he even laughed at me when I was crying..

I haven't seen him in months, although we are still officially "together". He even make de cry when I passed my NCLEX. He wanted me to quote on quote: "get a job NOW!"

I don't know if your significant other is as ignorant as mine. Hopefully not. But I completely understand where you are coming from.

*Hugs*