Depressed-Need Your Positive Thoughts/Prayers

  1. I'm not a religious person; more like spiritual. I don't usually ask for prayer, but I know from experience and from studies that have been done that it works. If you don't pray, please send positive thoughts my way.
    I'm a new graduate and passed the NCLEX last Friday, June 1st. I should be on cloud 9; I graduated early in May and had a job offer four days later, which I accepted. I see on a lot of these forums that many new grads are struggling to find jobs, so believe me, I am extremely grateful and humbled that I have this opportunity. Still, I'm the most depressed I've ever been and there are a few reasons why.
    We fell behind on all of our payments (mortgage, vehicles, etc.) trying to get me through my last semester of nursing school. I received an awesome scholarship throughout nursing school that helped me tremendously, and honestly, I wouldn't have been able to finish school without it! It was a monthly stipend that helped with living expenses. It ended two months earlier than I had originally been told, however. I thought it would be okay though, because I was told that I may be able to start my job in June. HR told me last week that they only do so many new-graduate orientations a year, and that it's impossible for me to start before then. I'm not sure why the misinformation there, but so be it.
    So, here I am, a new nurse grad, about to lose everything, when I'm just weeks away from an awesome job that pays well! I'm getting calls daily from bill collectors and being harassed by the banks that want last month's money plus this month's. I'm literally three weeks away from losing my home. My children know something is wrong even though I try to act like everything's okay.
    I held it together with my grades through nursing school. I graduated Summa Cum Laude and was usually at the top of my class.I
    I asked some family members for a loan, but they have been unwilling or unable to help. I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope.
    Throughout nursing school, my marriage got really rocky as well. Most of it was my fault. II just feel like a total failure right now. I've made a lot of mistakes.
    Please read this and keep me in your thoughts. There are a lot of big hearts on this forum, and some positive words or encouragement will help me a lot! Thanks!!
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    About smithkidsmom

    Joined: Jun '12; Posts: 2


  3. by   RockinChick66
    Being a past collector myself, it would help if you will communicate this situation to the people you owe money to.
    Communication if very important. That's all I can say.
  4. by   Perpetual Student
    If you accept that prayer works why wouldn't you accept that God exists and elect to worship him?

    I don't mean to troll. I'm actually what you could call an agnostic. I WANT to believe. But I don't believe in anything anymore. Even that which I can touch is met with a high level of skepticism. I'm just a mite logical and such.

    I know what it's like to feel like a failure. I feel like an absolute failure for ostensibly being a critical care nurse and not recognizing certain signs and symptoms in my mother for what they were and forcing her to seek out help from her cardiologist and PCP, instead ascribing them to effects of obesity and smoking.

    Best wishes and I hope you're able to find a workable solution.
  5. by   clare30
    Im very sorry for your troubles. Im sending positive thoughts your way.

    I am in the Uk so i am not sure how different things are here but I got into debt whilst doing my nurse training due to a messy divorce etc so a few years ago when the bills got too much, I sought help from a debt management company. I went through all my incomings and outgoings and they worked out a suitable amount I could afford to be paying my debtors each month. They then contacted them on my behalf and agreed amounts they would recieve and also eventually all my interest was frozen. I pay around 30 a month to have this service but its worked for me and many others I know.

    I can no longer get credit and will be paying these debts off for around 20 years but I have plenty of money to live comfortably (I only pay out 130 a month now and was 500 + before) and I dont have people knocking at my door and ringing my house anymore.

    I hope you can find some solution.
  6. by   classicdame
    first, I believe the combined stress of graduation, testing and your home life have finally worn you down. You have been pushing yourself and now your body is complaining. Talk to your creditors. Tell them you are now employed and will be able to begin payments soon. You did not mention how your husband is coping with all this. Would be nice if the two of you worked out a plan together to solve these issues. My prayers are with you. It WILL get better.
  7. by   kjnsweets
    Ok first of all prayer works! I firmly believe that! 4 years ago I almost lost my son to bacterial endocarditis. I was really hard of myself because I didn't see it. The signs were there but I didn't see it and I am a icu/telemetry nurse. It took me getting on my knees for things to get better. Everybody has their own beliefs. I know you have reasons for yours. You will be in my prayers. As far as the creditors the best thing is communication. They want their money more than they want to take it from you. Good luck and God bless you! Congratulations on graduating!
  8. by   Daisy_08
    So sorry you are having a rough time right now. When I was going through a difficult time someone told me "When you are in darkness don't forget what you knew in the light"

    When you hit the bottom it seems like there is no way out. I know it seems like you have failed, but you graduated, not only that but at the top of your class, you have three beautiful children, a husband that did stay with you even though it got hard and a new job soon. Those are accomplishments and you should be proud of them.

    If you are feeling truly depressed, you might thinking about talking to someone. Churches do have free counselling. I went through a difficult time and turned to a local church and got a great deal of support and love, they never expected anything back from me.

    I will pray for you, and hope you get to the other side of this and find your happiness.