Having trouble getting motivated

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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I'm already shared that I'm back to school after taking a few months to resettled after becoming separated from my husband. I know I've spent the summer feeling depressed and kind of letting myself go. I really thought getting back into the school grind would help me rise above that but the semester officially starts today and I don't even want to crack a book. I still feel just as overwhelmed by life and this house and my 11yo daughter and my full-time job and the commute and feeling old and fat and worn out and ... I can't even laugh at how pathetic that all sounds. I know nursing is for me. I know its a solid career path, even as a 40yo still taking prereqs. But now, looking at it up close, its looking like a very long path that I have little energy to spare for.

I need a pep talk to get me going. Help?

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Hang in there you can do this just remember why you want to become a nurse and know that every pre-reque you finish means you are that much closer to nursing school That is what keeps me going!!! I am going to become an RN but I am going to be put on the wait list for my Community College's LVN program, it starts every 12 months right now and all I have to do is give them my Offcial High School transcrpits and my Offcial College transcipts from them and the filled out application packet for the LVN program and they said they will put me on the wait list and I am so excited I can wait until i turn in all that. I am going go celebrate I am still going to become an RN but I am going to go to school for the LVN program and be a LVN for awhile. Sorry about my rambling, I just found out about this yesterday and I am so excited i cannot stop taking about it and it's driving my family crazy!!! Just remember you can do this and I am sure you will be in nursing school before you know it:):)

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It'll be fun. Try and get into a comfortable groove. Bring something to nibble on to class. I always bring a big thing of water and a sucker. It just makes me feel more at home when I go to class. It's the same as having to go to work, you have to go so you mind as well have fun while you are there. Try not to think about how long it takes. Time flies by,... faster as I get older :). So it mind as well be spent enriching your life with these skills. Crack those books, you are LUCKY to be able to go to school... A lot of people have challenges where school would be like a luxury to them.

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Hang in there! Having gone through a separation before, I know the depressed feeling you're talking about. Try to look at this separation as a new start and not worry about how long it will take to finish. If you know that nursing is what you want, then don't give up no matter what. I know that things may get really tough and tiresome but "keep on truckin' " because its worth it in the end.

After my separation I began taking long walks to clear my head and began eating a little better.

In times like these is when we have to make ourselves do the things we know are good for us even if we don't feel like it. I still feel like that but its getting better......... the motivation is beginning to come back. Good luck with everything!

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Specializes in being a Credible Source.
I'm already shared that I'm back to school after taking a few months to resettled after becoming separated from my husband. I know I've spent the summer feeling depressed and kind of letting myself go. I really thought getting back into the school grind would help me rise above that but the semester officially starts today and I don't even want to crack a book. I still feel just as overwhelmed by life and this house and my 11yo daughter and my full-time job and the commute and feeling old and fat and worn out and ... I can't even laugh at how pathetic that all sounds. I know nursing is for me. I know its a solid career path, even as a 40yo still taking prereqs. But now, looking at it up close, its looking like a very long path that I have little energy to spare for.

I need a pep talk to get me going. Help?

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Being a parent and a provider and a student is quite hard enough without adding the pain and struggle of marital discord and all of the feelings engendered by a separation or dissolution of a marriage.

Being a man, I don't go around hugging women that I don't know so I'll leave the electronic hugs to the ladies here but I'll offer up a gentle pat on the shoulder.

As a fellow 40-something, I'm sure you've been through other tough times in your life so you know that this, too, shall pass and that sometimes we need to just get along by focusing on things day-by-day and even hour-by-hour. You do have a tough road in front of you but having come this far through life you know that you can walk those tough roads and that they will become easier again. As it says in Ecclesiastes, "To everything there is a season..."

On the practical side:

  1. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage. Regardless of what is, I'm sure that some of "what was" was wonderful.
  2. Give yourself permission to do some things just for you, even if it's as simple as splurging a few bucks on some candles and bath oils and indulging in a long, soothing bath after your daughter has gone to bed or is otherwise engaged and when perhaps you should be studying or cleaning or ??? Finding some rejuvenating activities is very important.
  3. Tell yourself that it's OK if the house or car aren't as tidy as you'd like. It's OK to have simple foods (think cereal, sandwiches, fruit, frozen veggies, and pre-packed salads) instead of big meals. Your goal right now is probably effective time management and emotional support for your daughter. Much beyond that is probably lower priority right now.
  4. Focus on the future. Envision yourself graduating from nursing school and how proud of yourself you'll feel and what a great example you'll have been for your daughter. Spend some time daydreaming about what you're going to love about being a nurse.
  5. Focus on the path. Try to build some enthusiasm for the subjects you're taking and find what's interesting in them (I know that's a real struggle sometimes). Envision yourself doing well on your exams. Picture (and feel) the confidence that you'll have when your exam is handed to you. Envision yourself getting your papers back and seeing your hard work validated by meeting your academic goals.
  6. Envision yourself sending off your applications to nursing school and envision yourself getting that acceptance letter. Think for a bit about how good that will feel (and, boy, did it...)
  7. If all else fails, just fall back to the Little Engine That Could mantra of, "I think I can, I think I can..." Even if you're not feeling that way, just keep saying it. Become your own cheerleader and advocate. Speak to yourself just as you would to your daughter if she were expressing doubt.
  8. Find support from your friends, family, church/mosque/synagogue/temple/...
  9. Come often to "allnurses.com" and seek encouragement. Don't read the "negative nelly" posts... you know that they're there but you probably don't have the excess capacity to absorb the negativity.
  10. Hug your daughter a lot!!

You CAN do it. It will be harder than it might otherwise need to be but you CAN do it.

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Specializes in Cardiac Care.

Ah divorce. It changes everything. The things that we grew up believing were true are now changed. But change doesn't have to be a bad thing. Now you can achieve YOUR goals. Make it a team effort and include your daughter. The two of you are the team now. My boys are mine. We talk about how life will be once I'm done with school and they are great about making sacrifices, it has even helped them do better in school.

I also agree with Music in my heart that you need time to grieve over the loss. I agree with taking things day by day and if that is to much then hour by hour. Be kind to yourself. Pick a reward that is special to you and then after accomplishing a month of school treat yourself.

I don't know if I have any great motivating words other than time will pass and it will pass even if you give up so why not smile even though you don't feel like it and fake it until you begin to feel like smiling. I used to hike and walk and during that time I would pray, ask for guidance or listened to motivating tapes it got me passed this time and the walking improved my spirits and figure.

You might want to even try a local support group or find a friend in one of your classes. When I went through my divorce, one of my good friends did too and we would call each other each night to talk. It helped.

I pray that you will be given the strength to over come, but you and I know that the strength is already within you. Just call on it.

L

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Specializes in ER/Ortho.

Your just blaah I know the feeling. Everyonce in a while I feel the same way, and it seems like I will never finish, but here I am applying this semester with all my prereqs just about done. If I had a dime for everytime I have just wanted to quit. I think after what you have been through it's all a bit normal. You have been bummed for so long you need to learn a new way to be. Make yourself do the things you need to do, and the reward yourself. If you need to take small baby steps...For example I will go to class, and then as a treat I get to eat a snickers bar, take a half hour to myself, or put a $ in a jar to use on whatever I want later. You could do the same thing with your moods by saying for the next hour I will smile no matter what, and reward myself. You would be surprised at how much better you feel just by smiling. Rent a comedy, and make yourself laugh out loud, dance around the room when nobody is looking. You have got the rest of your life ahead of you, and your going to be nurse.

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Thanks everyone for the responses! Its a few days later and I'm feeling better, not so overwhelmed. I'm on a bit of a rollercoaster and just have to learn to anticipate that as crappy as things may seem sometimes if I just give it a day usually I'll feel better.

Trudging onward ...

Angela

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Just wanted you to know that I'm right there with ya! I'm taking my last semester of prereqs and saved probably the two hardest for last - microbiology and A&P 2! I have no motivation whatsoever - also going through marital problems and it's so hard to try and focus on school - I wish I could be one of those people who can put my personal problems aside but unfortunately, I'm not...

Don't really have any advice for you since I'm struggling as well but wanted you to know that you aren't alone and I'm here if you ever need to vent...feel free to message me anytime!:)

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Solidarity! Solidarity! ;) Thanks for the vote of support .. and you have mine as well. Tried to message this but for some reason the system won't allow me to. Please if you need support feel free to message me anytime. The more the merrier ;)

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Specializes in Traveling.

Ok...so once again, I will bless you with my 2-bit story. I wanted to tell you that I can totally relate to you in the whole "not wanting to crack a book" thing. I spent my summer taking Anatomy and Physiology 2 and Statistics and working full time. I mean I have to work, I live with my partner and she has her own drama going on, and I have to pay bills. We live in the Village, right across from Saint Vincents hospital, and when I see the doctors in their scrubs, I know that they are no different than I am, they are just farther in their dream than I am.

I can't imagine what things would be like with another mouth to feed. The only advice that I can offer you, is to stay HUNGRY. It sounds really stupid, but I know in my life that there is NO other option for me than to become a nurse, because I have these dreams of mine that won't go away and won't come true if I'm broke or sitting on my ass not doing something that I wanted to do.

And there are the days that I feel like ****, because I feel like I've wasted so much time, taking courses...but then when I see the students who have gotten into nursing school, I get upset because some of them are dumb as posts. I'm not that bright either...but come on.

Believe me, hang in there...because one day you will look at all of this drama and laugh. :lol2:

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Oh Gods, thank you for posting because I can relate to SO much of what you shared. Our situations aren't exactly the same, but the need is the same. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work! Eventually we'll be the ones striding around in scrubs making the young'uns jealous ;)

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