Has your job impacted your life perspectives?

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

I was having a conversation with some coworkers the other day about the potential negative impact of our jobs in critical care on our overall perspective of certain things. One example is COVID. I hear people, even some on this site, talking about coming down with COVID as little more than an inconvenience. I didn't see the people that weren't hospitalized, I didn't even see the people that were admitted for a couple days and then got better and went home. I saw the ones that got sick, and many died. Old, not so old, in overall poor health and in overall decent health, it killed them. 

I don't see many people that age well. I see the sick and infirm and I see the families that want "everything done" forever for their loved one, often with a relatively poor quality of life before they even came to us. Sometimes I want to call those families and make someone come and sit with grandma 24 hours a day while we keep her barely alive, moaning in pain no matter what we do, alone and tied to a bed. I want to remember that there are healthy old people out there, too.

And I've almost lost sight of the fact that people can enjoy a beer or a night out, and not end up in liver failure with jaundice and bleeding out from anything that can bleed. We have so many alcoholics dying, as young as 28 recently, and I wish that I could truly understand the nature of addiction so that I could try to do something to help them, or their families, as they suffer. But no one can really do or say anything that will make someone change until they're ready to change. I understand that rationally, but it doesn't make it easier to face families saying good bye to loved ones so many years too soon.

I do enjoy my job. I am grateful that I have acquired skills to help patients and families when they are ill enough to require critical care. But sometimes I don't love how it might be changing me and my view of the world. Has your job changed your view of things?

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

An old work friend and I were talking about this recently. We worked on a med-psych floor together for a few years, then moved on, me to general med-surg, she to IMC. We were joking about how we forgot how nice people could be while working our old job (though honestly, it's still easy to forget sometimes). We had spent so much time setting boundaries, redirecting, de-escalating, and so forth, that having patients who could regulate their own behavior was honestly stunning for a time.

I do feel like I still often experience this in general med-surg/tele, though. My assignment could be all total care patients with all kinds of time-consuming back-breaking needs, but if I don't get yelled at, demeaned, or threatened during my shift, it's honestly been a great day. I know we're often meeting people during an unfamiliar, scary situation in their lives and they're not going to be at their best; however, I now expect impatience, irritability, and even straight hostility from my patients, and am pleasantly surprised when people are graceful and kind. As someone who is sensitive anyway and definitely struggles to maintain reasonable boundaries, I am doubly fatigued doing this at work and in my personal life when needed; I forget that it's not my job to fix everything, despite the fact that someone else clearly believes it is, especially at work.

Also, agreed that hospitals are not the place to witness people aging well! Although I've taken care of a few nonagenarians lately who honestly have it pretty well together - ambulatory, eating whatever food in whatever consistency they want, seeing family regularly, of sound mind, and content with where they are in their lives. I often think to myself that I have no desire to live into my 90s, but sometimes I meet people who remind me that age alone doesn't determine quality of life, and that is comforting.