i'm in a little bit of a funk right now and needed some advice its a long story but i need to get it out.... i just passed boards for my rn in december and did very well, i did well through school and had great relationships with my instructors. i recently accepted a rn position at a ltc facility, a condition of the position was that i completed a orientation for the lpn position before they started me on the orientation for the rn position, it was supposed to be about a 2-3 month orientation but it was supposed to be "tailored to my needs". it sounded odd to me but i accepted it because i have never been employed in the healthcare field before and i understood needing to know how to perform the lpn duties if i were to be supervising them. my first day was a 4 hour day of watching movies, and the 2nd consisted of me shadowing a lpn. the next week i was on the same cart and the lpn had me do fingersticks and the afternoon med. pass while she was present. for the rest of the week she had me do the passes, without being with me, and when i started taking too long for the pass she would take over and finish, so the meds wern't over the alotted time. there was no advice given, preceptor, or instructions at all....the next week was the same way, only with a different nurse on the same unit (we had 20, + or - a few, patients per lpn). the first day of the third week i was pulled off the unit i was orienting to, and instructed to cover a lpn's afternoon pass because she went home early. i did the pass but i let them know i was uncomfortable before doing it, and they just said oh you'll be okay and gave me the keys. the next day i was expecting to go back to my first unit, but they floated me again and had me cover the same lpn whole shift, i was scared out of my mind. no one had given me any instructions on anything, and i had never had 19 pts. to do treatments, meds, and notes on before and had no clue on what paperwork i had to do for this shift. on top of it i had a representative from the pharmacy observing my pass. even with all the nervousness, and overwhelming feelings, i was trying to do the best i could and managed to pick out a sliding scale that began "0-151: 2 units" . needless to say when i went in the next day, after crying when i went home, the lady from the pharmacy had written me up for about 8 different things. the don pulled me into her office, in front of another employee who shared an office with her and went down the list: using hand sanitizer for more that 3 pts., using had sanitizer after degloving after eye drops instead of washing my hands, not having applesauce on my cart, not ordering a liquid form of potassium for a pt. who had difficulty swallowing, not closing a curtain for a lidoderm patch, giving calcium and iron at the same time, giving miacalcin in both nostrils, like the mar said to do, and taking over the the time allowed to give meds. (i went 1 1/2 hours over). before i could even say anything, the don started with "i know my nurses didn't train you like this"..... i didn't even know how to reply. i just told her that i was doing everything to the best of my ability, that i was overwhelmed, and i came in early today to find a way to organize my time better. she proceeded to ask me what my goals were and i said i wanted to get to the point where i could do the weekend incentive program for her facility and that i wanted to go into icu later on. she ripped back at me with " i don't believe you are in no way fit to handle the icu at this time if at all, not if you can't handle this...if anything i recommend you go to a dr's office and start there so you can know the basics of nursing." then i was advised to go home for a few days, review medication administration techniques and cdc guidelines and return the following monday. i'm a difficult person to break down, but at that point i felt worthless... i went home did as she said, cried a little bit and returned to work the following monday. i was so nervous, when i went back she told me to go back to the unit i started on i was put with the lpn i started with and told that she was to give me no instructions and i was to do the whole pass by myself and strictly observed. right before my pass i was given the medication administration policy book but not alloted to time to review it, i was told well review it when we get a chance ( which never came). after my shift was over i was sent to the don's office and asked why my pass took me so long today, i stated that i have to check the med more than the other nurses because i'm not used to them and i want to make sure their right ( and i wanted to say i wash my hands for a full minute and every time, but i didn't) and i was told that "her nurses do do their checks on their meds". instead of arguing i let her speak her mind and just felt degraded this time i was told "i've spoken with you instructors and they said you were a very bright girl, and you might be, but some times people with even the most book smarts don't have any common sense, did you ever think that "floor nursing" isn't something cut out for you there are jobs out there that might fit your personality a little better." at that point i was done, and i quit listening, and at the end of the conversation i was told that i could come back to work when i completed a pharmacology refresher course. i'm not going to talk about all the things that i seen going on "wrong" in the facility, done by the nurses who were training me because my post is long enough and they just taught me what not to do. but i feel as though all the things i were written up for should be proof of how things are being ran in the facility because that was how i was trained, i a even changed things up a bit because i know that the way they showed me was wrong. i don't let people get to me like this usually, i've lived a difficult life and i have a thick hide because of it. i'm only 23 and i busted my butt getting through school with two kids, and still graduated with honors. i couldn't have done everything i did, and have been told i did it that well, for me to have chosen the "wrong" profession. when i was in school, as hard as it was, i loved going to clinicals, i love being able to make someone smile or feel comfort when their having difficult times. i love being able to talk to my pts. and i love the empathy that i share with them. i've been on the other side of things, i know what its like to have a "mean" person trying to take care of you when your in that much pain and thats whole reason i came into nursing. i wanted to be that one person to make that one difference in someones day. every time i walk into a room, no matter how hard my day has been, i smile at my pt. and i give them an opportunity to tell me how their day is. and now i feel like i don't know where i stand, any input is good input. i am putting my resignation letter in tomorrow, now i just feel like i'm walking away with my tail between my legs and i don't know where to go next.
nur2009se
3 Posts
Thanks everyone, you were all a huge help.... I just put my resignation in today, I feel a weight lifted too! My DON didn't seem very happy with me, and didn't even speak to me about the letter at all. She just took it and read it, and I asked her to sign another copy of the letter for my records. She just handed it back to me...... Wish me luck job hunting, again, at least I have a nice amount of questions to ask during my next interview. I'm so glad I found this site, now I know I have one place that I can go to for a little guidance.