Got canned ... and now worried about do not rehire

DemosthenesRN · Sep 17, 2013

Hi! Can you direct me to the threads that address "do not rehire"? I haven't heard of this before.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. My recommendation when you go in for an interview after this is to use only positive words. I was in a group interview for new grads a while back and one guy got into a long story about a learning experience, but he referred to his own ignorance and pride.

He was trying to show the interviewer that he had learned these things about himself, to show that he was teachable and had made a lot of positive growth. Which is probably true, but we must know something about human psychology to know why this was a huge mistake.

Studies show that when we use words to describe other people or situations, the listener associates those words with the speaker. If you describe another person as being "impatient and impolite", the listener associates those terms with you. If you describe another person as "patient and kind" the listener associates those words with you. It seems counterintuitive, after all you are talking about someone else, and not yourself, but it has been replicated in multiple studies.

In this case, the new grad was describing himself as he was in the past, to try to show that these terms no longer applied to him, but that is not the way to do it. If you want to show that you were prideful and learned to be humble, you say, "I learned a lot about demonstrating humility to my coworkers." Avoid using the word pride, and Bam! You're humble!

If you want to say that you were ignorant but you learned to ask questions, you say, "I received some very valuable feedback that reinforced to me how important it is to ask questions and ensure total competence when providing patient care."

See what a different impression that leaves, compared to, "It was my own ignorance that got in the way of providing patient care, and I learned that I have to ask more questions."

That was basically the way he framed it, by the way. Totally understandable mistake, he was trying to show that he was capable of taking responsibility for his actions, but he could have done that without using negative words and made a vastly improved overall impression.

You can benefit greatly from this knowledge by framing your experience ONLY in the positive. "I learned so much about advocating, safety checks, etc." "I know I will be a better nurse from this experience." Use whatever words that are appropriate for your situation, and don't use anything negative to describe it.

For example, if asked to address the end result, don't say "They fired me" or "They let me go" when you can simply say, "I had to move on." It's the same thing, but framed completely differently, and leaves a more positive impression in the listeners head.

That's my two cents, and the very best of luck to you!!!!

FlorenceNtheMachine · Sep 17, 2013

Hi! Can you direct me to the threads that address "do not rehire"? I haven't heard of this before.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. My recommendation when you go in for an interview after this is to use only positive words. I was in a group interview for new grads a while back and one guy got into a long story about a learning experience, but he referred to his own ignorance and pride.
He was trying to show the interviewer that he had learned these things about himself, to show that he was teachable and had made a lot of positive growth. Which is probably true, but we must know something about human psychology to know why this was a huge mistake.
Studies show that when we use words to describe other people or situations, the listener associates those words with the speaker. If you describe another person as being "impatient and impolite", the listener associates those terms with you. If you describe another person as "patient and kind" the listener associates those words with you. It seems counterintuitive, after all you are talking about someone else, and not yourself, but it has been replicated in multiple studies.
In this case, the new grad was describing himself as he was in the past, to try to show that these terms no longer applied to him, but that is not the way to do it. If you want to show that you were prideful and learned to be humble, you say, "I learned a lot about demonstrating humility to my coworkers." Avoid using the word pride, and Bam! You're humble!
If you want to say that you were ignorant but you learned to ask questions, you say, "I received some very valuable feedback that reinforced to me how important it is to ask questions and ensure total competence when providing patient care."
See what a different impression that leaves, compared to, "It was my own ignorance that got in the way of providing patient care, and I learned that I have to ask more questions."
That was basically the way he framed it, by the way. Totally understandable mistake, he was trying to show that he was capable of taking responsibility for his actions, but he could have done that without using negative words and made a vastly improved overall impression.
You can benefit greatly from this knowledge by framing your experience ONLY in the positive. "I learned so much about advocating, safety checks, etc." "I know I will be a better nurse from this experience." Use whatever words that are appropriate for your situation, and don't use anything negative to describe it.
For example, if asked to address the end result, don't say "They fired me" or "They let me go" when you can simply say, "I had to move on." It's the same thing, but framed completely differently, and leaves a more positive impression in the listeners head.
That's my two cents, and the very best of luck to you!!!!

Wow. Stunning advice! I took some wisdom from that for my career path. Thank you!!

CTThor · Sep 25, 2013

Amazing advice, I will keep that inmind when I get interviews (soon?). Wonderful!