Oh waaahhhh!!! Dear Jen, even having the discussion about her fx'd hip made me love her. You must be going through an awful lot right now... (((((((hugs to all)))))))
PM me and I can give you more advice than you'd ever need, but here's a start:
if it smells bad, it's a no.
visit on the OTHER shifts.
how many walkie-talkies and activities do you see in the daytime?
Stroll the halls at mealtimes-- especially lunchtime. How many are up, dressed and in the dining room?? How many in bed??
Ask the night shift how many rounds they make. There should be 3. Ask about staffing last, cause they probably won't tell be able to tell you the truth; they're usually not allowed to mention staffing ratios. But anything under 20/CNA is good with 30/nurse on 11-7), and you can spot the overworked staff by the number of times they roll their eyes at your questions.
You CAN find a good home. It may take some persistance, but you can. In Hazel's case, for this, make sure they have a good stroke rehab program--PT, OT, speech therapy, all that. Who knows? she may recover with the right therapy.