I'm so devastated...

[jarhea]

I almost made my first med error today. I am a level 2 student(out of 5 semesters) and this is my third clincial in med/surg. I wasn't doing anything, so my clinical instructor said one of nurses had something for me to do. And it was to give meds. She hands me two pill packages, another pill in an envelope and tells me to go get the other med from the drawer. She gave me one page of the MAR and told me that the two pills aren't on the MAR yet, they were just sent up.

So, I'm already starting to have a bad feeling about the whole situation but I continue. So I get all the meds rounded up and I go back to the nurse so she can check them with me. She's like yup, looks good. So I crushed them and put them in applesauce. When I went to give them to the lady she refused to take them, which was probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. Neither the upper level student or I could get her to take them. I talked to the nurse and she said to dump them and chart them as refused.

So I'm starting to chart the meds and figure out how to say she refused, when my clinical instuctor came up. She's trying to figure out what to do, when she noticed I had two of the same pill, which was the same two the nurse handed me. She asked me if I gave both of them and I said yes, I tried. Then she told me I almost gave a double dose of an antibiotic. I freaked out, instantly tears came to my eyes. I was racking my brain trying to figure out what I had done wrong. My instructor later told me I should have checked the doctor's order, if the meds weren't on the MAR yet. I didn't know this and could have slapped myself up side the head for not thinking of it.

Needless to say, the nurse says that she didn't hand them both to me and that she showed me the doctor's orders. She didn't do that, but I still should have listened to my gut and went and got my clinical instructor. I just keep beating myself up about it. I was sobbing in the charting room the entire time, while my clinical instructor was trying to console me. How do you get over this and move on? I'm so devastated, because everyone likes to think it will never happen to them.

I know I learned a very very important lesson today, but I just don't know how to pick myself up and show up at clinical again tomorrow. Thanks for reading this, I know it was very long, but I just needed to spill it out.

jarhea

[Aradien]

I'd like to thank you for posting this....as a 1st semester student, we are now passing meds, and this is a good lesson for all of us new students to be aware of....interestingly enough, my RN and I were looking over our pt's chart today because of some confusion about whether the pt was going home today or tomorrow, and we noticed a new order for some drugs....I had the opportunity to visually see the written order, and then later went to retrieve the meds with my instructor to pass...didn't think twice about it or the way this occurred for the pt....

I'm so glad that you didn't get past the "attempting" to give the meds and that it turned out all right...

So also know, that you have helped many others by your experience today!! I know that I, too, would've probably just passed the drugs if the RN had told me to...THANKS!!!

:yeahthat: I wanted to add my thanks for sharing your experience. I am NOT handing out meds yet but I know that is around the corner (first semester, first year). Your experience will make me stop and think before I just hand meds out on the RN's say so.

Don't be too hard on yourself! The worst thing did not happen and because THIS did, you will make sure it doesn't happen again.:icon_hug:

[jov]

no you didn't actually make the mistake this time but I think it's important for all of us to face the fact that it, most likely, WILL happen in the future. I wish the nursing profession as a whole would have more seminars such as "You made a Med Error and The Patient Died - How to Live With Yourself Now." Now of course the double antibiotic dose wouldn't kill the patient, but the premature infants in the news lately were killed by one dose of medicine, an adult dose of anticoagulants. So I think, as nurses, we need to face the fact that it is likely we will someday make an error and someone will have permanent sequelae as a result of our actions. I try to deal with it from the point of view as an occupational hazard. If your job entails giving meds, med errors will be a likely result. Does all the harm done from one error cancel out all the good done every other day of your career? Can we look at med errors as a system error rather than an individual error? After all, don't we have many, many mechanisms in place to prevent them? We need to stop blaming people for errors and start looking for system errors. In this example, you pinpointed where the system error was. The MAR didn't have the meds on them. AND you were pressured by an experienced nurse to disregard your gut. Lessons well learned by all of us. Don't rush. Don't let others sway you into compromising your standards. And never disregard your gut.

[firstyearstudent]

I have felt very uncomfortable when nurses have asked me to pass meds for them without the MAR and/or without taking them out myself or going over them VERY carefully. They are so busy and I really want to help, but I don't do this any more. (I have in the past and regret it.) Now I say, "My instructor won't let me give this."

Med errors are so easy to make. I made one my second time passing meds. I didn't get written up because my CI had carefully gone over the drugs with me and also didn't notice it was a wrong dosage. (I 'fessed up later and she just told me to keep mum.) Fortunately, it was only a supplement...