I hate nursing school (and it is not because it is hard)

baleen · Sep 30, 2016

If you have two more years of nursing school, you haven't even gotten into the real "meat" of the nursing classes. It might be premature to decide either that nursing school is "easy" or that you wouldn't find nursing to be mentally challenging or stimulating.

I hope so. I do find myself to be a different sort of person from the nurses and nursing students. I am not family oriented. I spend all my time just reading about history, politics, philosophy, and occasionally science. Not that all nurses aren't like that, but it is hard to find those that have a similar personality.

Perhaps it is premature. Perhaps I am wrong about all of this. I do hope so. It would be much easier to be wrong. But when it comes to nursing school, it does seem to be not something that I jive with. Not at all. I cannot find any interest in nursing diagnosis. Skin integrity, getting patients moving, checking boxes for assessments that I find are often self evident. I am being down, I apologize.

I have checked out in class much of the time. Unless it's ekg day, or something interesting...

I hope the meat comes. I want meat. So far, no meat. A and P was meat. I want meat.

Trying not to infect my class mates and be mindful of how I come off. Perhaps my tune shall change.

baleen · Oct 1, 2016

You know...I go up and down. There are many levels I think about this on. And some of them have to do with different aspects of my personality.

I want a job that really leads/participates in my happiness. I get deathly afraid that I made the wrong choice, and therefore, I will not be happy. I think part of this is a fallacy because it may be that no job will make me happy, and then I just worried about being happy, and was never happy. Perhaps being a doctor would not make me happy. The possiblity means I need to work on this, no matter what I do.

Also: Today, at work, I enjoyed being with my patients. I enjoyed very much, the comraderie with other nurses and aids that is engendered in the "war-like" (see health version of war) atmosphere of the hospital. One of the hardest parts to me of being a CNA is being told, constantly, to do small tasks. I don't like being told what to do, but when it is a small task, I feel I am being wasted, and have hard time keeping my self respect, and not feeling lost. Today, I kept the idea in my mind that I will eventually find my level. That I am not going to stay in this job. (it helps being back in school and doing it one day a week). Also, it seems that nurses do not get told what to do constantly. And they have interventions that take more than 15 steps to complete. Somewhat more complex interventions.

Also: today I started to see nursing as more of an art. An art that includes more of the fun detective work than I gave it credit for. Being a quick sherlock homes of health as you walk in the room and do assessments. That is medical, and interesting, and a skill I would like to build.

Again, having a decent job, with a real income will be life changing for me. It will not make me happy, but it will help a lot in letting me breathe, and peek my head about.

Also, forgiving myself for not being at the level of confidence earlier that would have led to me shooting for the "stars". I had a relatively tough road to get to this point. I suppose I can say that without feeling sorry for myself. I got to nursing school...and it was a big deal for me...then I got down on myself because I automatically expected more from myself. But I have been growing at my own pace and I should forgive myself for that. Nursing school is good. Today, being a CNA wasnt bad. So I can only imagine that being a Nurse would be 10x better. I could live with that.

Medical school can still be in the future.

I felt bad that I wrote such disparaging remarks on my forum post. I mean them solely personal, but it is a part of this whole frustration with myself, and feeling poor, and stuck...things that are generally not true and self imposed.

I'll study chemistry and Russian while I am in nursing school. Perhaps I will look at CRNA, Russian travels, and/or medical school for my future. But, being happy now, I realize I am not so anxious to control my trajectory. And that should be a signal.

malenurse69, MSN, NP · Oct 1, 2016

Well the highest levels of medical knowledge will be available in MD/DO schools of course. If you are looking for more medical knowledge without going to med school then APN might be for you. It wont be the same level as medical school but NPs and CRNAs both get compensated well for their work and might just scratch that medical knowledge itch for you. Remember, PA/MD are all graduate degrees, you cant compare it with a undergraduate degree like bsn/adn.

baleen · May 7, 2017

You had great comments I wasn't ready to hear at the time. Self pity. Wanting to set myself apart. Some time has gone by, and I am not so desperate. Nursing is a great profession. I do think school should be more rigorous in the medical aspect but I see that nursing is so spread out that they cant really predict where anyone will go, so people learn on the job. Perhaps nursing should be a bit less open of a field? But then it wouldn't be as fun and full of options I suppose. In anycase, pity party over. All the cool kids went home and I'm left with a good field, and some rewarding work that I fought away for a while. I compromised, but I am also lucky to be here. And there are options. You know, sometimes whatever you are doing at the moment feels like it will be forever.

HermioneG, BSN, RN · May 8, 2017

OP,

Before deciding on nursing, I wanted to go to grad school and eventually be an A&P college professor. I had taken numerous upper division biology classes and was a TA for gross anatomy, neuroanatomy, and histology at my university. I would spend most of my free time holed up in the cadaver dissection suite and was either tutoring or prepping for the cadaver dissection my students would be doing that week. I was totally in my element, and on cloud nine. When I transferred in to nursing school as a Junior, it was a huge culture shock for me. The first couple of quarters when I was in fundamentals, psych, gero, etc, I struggled tremendously. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss my lab coat, the smell of formaldehyde, doing dissections in the lab until 11:30 on a school night, and playing with my microscope.

But then I remembered why I decided on nursing, and not on being an A&P professor. I focused on that spark inside me, and got past the tough parts and into the area of nursing that I personally click with. Once I did that, I was much happier. Once I decided on nursing, I knew that I wanted to work in ER, so when I would get down and feel frustrated, I would focus on that goal. Now, with nursing school behind me, I can say with 100% certainty that I made the right decision in nursing. I found the place where I'm incredibly happy, and haven't looked back since. If I thought I was on cloud nine before, then now I'm on cloud ten. Something I seriously doubted would be possible when I first started out.

It helped me to realize that while there's not very much nursing in science, there certainly can be (and should be) science in nursing. You didn't take all those A&P and chem pre-requisites for nothing, you know. You can learn the nursing process, and then dig deeper into the patho or drugs that you're giving. You can look at the presenting signs and symptoms, and learn to anticipate care based on what you're seeing. Heck, you can even take it down to a cellular level if you want. You can research and learn why you do the treatments you do, and utilize your love for science/etc to help you give amazing care to your patients. Now, that's not to say that nurses who don't love science don't give equally amazing care because they can and they do, but if you love science, there's definitely a place for it in nursing.

I always get frustrated when people just make the assumption that nursing doesn't require a deep understanding of disease process and treatments, and that we simply push med X at Y dose because the healthcare provider said so. No. We need to understand why because we are the last line of defense that patient has for the proper treatment. Sure, they might not be able to go into as deep of detail in class because our programs don't have the time and we have a different scope, but that doesn't mean you couldn't or shouldn't go deeper. Especially if that's your thing and you're unhappy skimming the surface, why not.

Anyways, long story short, is that either you will decide to be happy or not. You can always finish nursing school, work for awhile, build your credit up (or do whatever you need to to get those student loans that you say you can't get right now) and then do NP, PA, CRNA, etc. Maybe you could go to medical school, my cousin was a nurse for many years and went to medical school at 40 years old. Whatever floats your boat. In the meantime, you could remember why you chose nursing, and find that spark again. Then, go deeper in your classes if you feel like you're not being challenged enough or whatever. You may just be searching for what your personal niche in nursing is, and some reflection on your personal nursing philosophy or what kind of role you want to play in the healthcare team may help you.

But if you believe that you will always be unhappy in nursing no matter what, then maybe you should consider a different healthcare path and bail before you get in too deep financially. Nursing is an extremely noble profession, and shouldn't just be a backup because someone was too scared to try for MD/DO/PA. This is, of course, going to be 100% your decision, and I wish you all the luck in the world.

Side note, for the record, although my username is "HermioneG" and I love science, I did not get straight A's in nursing school. Learning to think and prioritize like a nurse is incredibly difficult at times, and if you haven't been challenged in that area at your school then I'm sorry. I certainly was, and I'm better for it.

Best wishes

HermioneG, BSN, RN · May 9, 2017

Whether this was sarcastic or not, I apologize. I got my feathers ruffled when you wrote about "your people" not being nurses because you're too smart for them. I was asked one too many times why I "settle" for nursing and told in various ways how the nursing profession isn't full of smart people like other bachelor degree majors need to be. Nursing is a professional career, however perceptions like yours (that all nursing programs must be in a sorry state because of your dissatisfaction in one of them) is incorrect and just adds to the misconceptions.
If you read my pathos book (by McCance and Heuther) I think you'd enjoy it. It's a nursing class for pre-med, pre-PA, and biology majors also btw.

I ran into one of my old gross anatomy students at the grocery store several months ago. Medical school didn't initially pan out for him so he's working on a PhD in biology, and then will apply to medical school again after he graduates.

I had just finished a shift in the ER, and had had the best day. When I said that my practicum was awesome and I was excited to be a nurse, he literally said "I still can't believe that you went to nursing school, I still think you're settling" and then followed it up with "but you did say you wanted to have kids and be a mom, so I guess it makes sense"

My jaw almost hit the floor with the level of arrogance and presumption he had.

So then I said "yeah, I'm going into a profession where full time is working 3 days a week, I get to have fun at work and don't have to juggle the care of a million patients at once, I don't have to worry about malpractice suits and paying for malpractice insurance, I get to spend lots of quality time with my patients, I could switch between specialties when I want to as much as I want to without having to do a residency, I'm allowed to clock out and go home and don't have to worry about being on call, I can do flight or transport or many other things and have a unique level of autonomy... and I have the freedom to take my education as far as I like. And even if I never further my education past my current BSN, I would still live a happy and fulfilled life."

Then he said "Well, I guess it's not settling. Just as long as you still get your NP."

Then I just rolled my eyes, wished him well, and left.

I deeply admire Physicians and all the sacrifices that they make, and the burdens that they take on their shoulders. I just personally couldn't be happy doing that. And doing something like nursing isn't settling at all, it's just knowing what will make you happy and what role you want to have in the team. Not every "smart" person in the medical field who isn't a doctor should've been one. As a profession, we are filled with our own beautiful, strong, and smart professionals who were in every capacity meant to be nurses, thank you very much :) :) :)

baleen · Jun 10, 2017

OP,
Before deciding on nursing, I wanted to go to grad school and eventually be an A&P college professor. I had taken numerous upper division biology classes and was a TA for gross anatomy, neuroanatomy, and histology at my university. I would spend most of my free time holed up in the cadaver dissection suite and was either tutoring or prepping for the cadaver dissection my students would be doing that week. I was totally in my element, and on cloud nine. When I transferred in to nursing school as a Junior, it was a huge culture shock for me. The first couple of quarters when I was in fundamentals, psych, gero, etc, I struggled tremendously. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss my lab coat, the smell of formaldehyde, doing dissections in the lab until 11:30 on a school night, and playing with my microscope.
But then I remembered why I decided on nursing, and not on being an A&P professor. I focused on that spark inside me, and got past the tough parts and into the area of nursing that I personally click with. Once I did that, I was much happier. Once I decided on nursing, I knew that I wanted to work in ER, so when I would get down and feel frustrated, I would focus on that goal. Now, with nursing school behind me, I can say with 100% certainty that I made the right decision in nursing. I found the place where I'm incredibly happy, and haven't looked back since. If I thought I was on cloud nine before, then now I'm on cloud ten. Something I seriously doubted would be possible when I first started out.
It helped me to realize that while there's not very much nursing in science, there certainly can be (and should be) science in nursing. You didn't take all those A&P and chem pre-requisites for nothing, you know. You can learn the nursing process, and then dig deeper into the patho or drugs that you're giving. You can look at the presenting signs and symptoms, and learn to anticipate care based on what you're seeing. Heck, you can even take it down to a cellular level if you want. You can research and learn why you do the treatments you do, and utilize your love for science/etc to help you give amazing care to your patients. Now, that's not to say that nurses who don't love science don't give equally amazing care because they can and they do, but if you love science, there's definitely a place for it in nursing.
I always get frustrated when people just make the assumption that nursing doesn't require a deep understanding of disease process and treatments, and that we simply push med X at Y dose because the healthcare provider said so. No. We need to understand why because we are the last line of defense that patient has for the proper treatment. Sure, they might not be able to go into as deep of detail in class because our programs don't have the time and we have a different scope, but that doesn't mean you couldn't or shouldn't go deeper. Especially if that's your thing and you're unhappy skimming the surface, why not.
Anyways, long story short, is that either you will decide to be happy or not. You can always finish nursing school, work for awhile, build your credit up (or do whatever you need to to get those student loans that you say you can't get right now) and then do NP, PA, CRNA, etc. Maybe you could go to medical school, my cousin was a nurse for many years and went to medical school at 40 years old. Whatever floats your boat. In the meantime, you could remember why you chose nursing, and find that spark again. Then, go deeper in your classes if you feel like you're not being challenged enough or whatever. You may just be searching for what your personal niche in nursing is, and some reflection on your personal nursing philosophy or what kind of role you want to play in the healthcare team may help you.
But if you believe that you will always be unhappy in nursing no matter what, then maybe you should consider a different healthcare path and bail before you get in too deep financially. Nursing is an extremely noble profession, and shouldn't just be a backup because someone was too scared to try for MD/DO/PA. This is, of course, going to be 100% your decision, and I wish you all the luck in the world.
Side note, for the record, although my username is "HermioneG" and I love science, I did not get straight A's in nursing school. Learning to think and prioritize like a nurse is incredibly difficult at times, and if you haven't been challenged in that area at your school then I'm sorry. I certainly was, and I'm better for it.
Best wishes

A very thoughtful and insightful comment. Thank you HermioneG. I look forward to getting back into the hospital and being more inundated with interesting stuff. I did enjoy the more acute clinicals. But your comment was so kind and refreshing. It makes me happy to be joining a profession with people that write like you did.

baleen · Feb 3, 2018

After completing nursing school, and a capstone in an ICU, I have realized much about my above thoughts. For anyone still interested in my little journey, ill share some of them.

First, I should not have gone to nursing school. It was never going to be enough, and it was always going to be very annoying to me. Its the kind of person I am. I fought against it. Why? Fear. If I am to be honest, becoming sober after years of feeling out of control, and feeling like I would never live up to my own expectations for myself, left me scared of becoming another homeless statistic. Once sober, I found that I could really do anything again. I could focus, and I could be the best in most of my classes. I enjoy learning, but I hate learning "nursing". I had to find that out the hard way. I love learning about nature. Be it the human body or any other form that has taken trial and error and chaos and (isnt it the question that ultimately drives...why at all?) sits here in our midst, makes us up, and is infinitely beautiful and wondrous. Nursing abdicates too much of that end of things, and sits on the human aspect. The almost "human first", nearly Christian way of it. Perhaps that is why there are so many christians in my classes. But...I digress.

It was not a good decision to go to nursing school. Perhaps when I begin work, and can work 2 days a week and pursue other things that make me happy, my tune will change somewhat. But I fooled myself for so long. I tried to tell myself that this thing I was doing out of fear was right for me, and the other things I really wanted (Journalism....Medical School) were not.

I did not listen to those that said follow your heart. Though I wanted to. I did listen to those that said stick around. Keep at it. My first nursing school teachers told me to go to medical school. Nothing anyone could have said would have swayed me.

If there is anything I could tell anyone....its that, it is true. Follow what you want, is true. Everything else you justify for money, or stability, or ...or...or...you name the fear, it will drive you if you cant fight it off.

Its not too late for me, though I do feel old for somethings....I suppose it does not have to be so.

Follow what we want...and dont make excuses. I can do great things....if I have the courage. I think many others can too.

Hope2banurse1 · Feb 13, 2018

That is what you are supposed to be able to do. A lot of nursing is striking out on your own and learning disease processes and learning best practices. When you specialize, you become so intimate in your knowledge with the subject matter of your chosen specialty that you can ask the MD exactly what you need for your patient based on excellent assessment and critical thinking skills. That is, at least for me, where the intellectual rush of nursing comes in to play. And, when you have to fill in the holes the MD left behind when talking to the patient (excluding matters requiring consent) and you are doing your discharge teaching and you can teach the patient so well that they can really get a hold of their disease process, that's the pinnacle of the nursing model.
I know it doesn't seem super hard and right now the schooling part is boring. I am having this issue, too. I feel like a lot of the As I and many in my cohort got were handed to us. It feels shameful. But, this whole time I've been studying on my own and doing my own research on things. I'm 30 and I don't need an instructor to teach me anything in the classroom - I need them in clinical. So, I've been getting my own work experience and have been lucky enough to be on a unit of my chosen specialty where my nurses nurture my student side and we can discuss high level disease processes and treatment protocols. It's freaking amazing.
And, yet, through it all, I'm still considering PA school later down the road. But, for now, I am extremely satisfied and am hopeful for what I can do as an RN and how expansive my medical and nursing knowledge is going to become, especially once I get on the job. Like they say, you learn everything once you get on the job.
There is no way nursing school can really prepare us to go into the workforce unless we go back to hospital-based diploma nursing (and, even then, the litigious nature of medical liability would still hold us back from getting "real" experience).

Something about your comments gave me chills! It's like I could feel the passion and excitement from your words. Your comment just gave me a little bit more reassurance this is what I wanna do. I'm hoping to get into a nursing program in the fall. Good luck to you. I wish somehow I knew you lol.

acharland · Feb 13, 2018

OOOps... I posted this way after I saw it is now a whole year later. But I'll leave it here just keep in mind I thought your original post was recent. BTW... Congrats on all your personal revelations. After reading your recent update, I feel like this might be the same path I'm heading. However, I am taking the la_chiqha_serte85's quote to heart and ensuring I get into a field/specialty that will nurse my passions... Good luck to you and your path. Keep me up to date!

Hello, I'm totally new here but I am starting down a Nursing path because of my passion for healing others. Sounds to me that you are like me, you like to dive deep down and discover the how's and the why's and apply your knowledge which, by the sounds of it, you're not getting to do. So perhaps switching to a field that will allow that might be better suited to you. ALSO, wouldn't a Nurse Practitioner field allow you to apply your indepth knowledge? Perhaps once you get passed basic nursing elements,, you might be a little bit more fulfilled. I don't want to be a Nurse, despite studying and getting my RN. I mean my END GOAL, is Nurse practitioner, although i'm sure the basics of nursing practice are very important and will serve as an excellent foundation while earning my masters, I don't want to stop at the BSN level. So maybe consider persevering to the point where you can be challenged with deeper knowledge as you seem to strive for. Best of luck!

rileowski · Feb 15, 2018

I relate to you so much! I always wanted to go to med school but recently got accepted into nursing school, and I think I may have to decline that acceptance and work on getting my prereqs for med school done instead. I wanted to be a doctor because not only do I love helping people, but that I love science. But I can tell I will be disappointed by the lack of detail nursing school will go into for a science nerd like me. I want to know all about human anatomy and physiology. I want to know the intricate details of how drugs work and human pathology. I am taking pathophysiology now at a community college by a nursing instructor. She is really sweet and nice, but when it comes down to the details of certain topics she can only say "I don't know. I'm a nurse, not a doctor." It kills me when she says that because I really wanted to be a kick ass nurse, but I know in my heart the only way I can learn all the stuff I want is to go into medicine. I am glad I almost went into nursing though because I learned so much about the nursing profession and how difficult it can be. Nurses are badasses and I will be relying on them all the time when I'm a new intern to make sure I don't screw up, but nursing is just not my path. Thanks for sharing your journey though. I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way, but at least your mistakes helped another person from making those same mistakes.

baleen · Feb 16, 2018

I relate to you so much! I always wanted to go to med school but recently got accepted into nursing school, and I think I may have to decline that acceptance and work on getting my prereqs for med school done instead. I wanted to be a doctor because not only do I love helping people, but that I love science. But I can tell I will be disappointed by the lack of detail nursing school will go into for a science nerd like me. I want to know all about human anatomy and physiology. I want to know the intricate details of how drugs work and human pathology. I am taking pathophysiology now at a community college by a nursing instructor. She is really sweet and nice, but when it comes down to the details of certain topics she can only say "I don't know. I'm a nurse, not a doctor." It kills me when she says that because I really wanted to be a kick ass nurse, but I know in my heart the only way I can learn all the stuff I want is to go into medicine. I am glad I almost went into nursing though because I learned so much about the nursing profession and how difficult it can be. Nurses are badasses and I will be relying on them all the time when I'm a new intern to make sure I don't screw up, but nursing is just not my path. Thanks for sharing your journey though. I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way, but at least your mistakes helped another person from making those same mistakes.

I have to say, at every turn, the truly curious are stymied by a culture in nursing that eschews the really deeper questions. If that, "I don't know. Im a nurse, not a doctor" mentality bothered you early, it will never get better in my experience, and I think it's good that you can hear your own reaction to that kind of thing. I am glad that you found my post useful.