Have to write our own obituary - page 2

i'm having so much trouble writing this. i just cannot put myself in this frame of mind. i am so afraid that my kids will find it and read it. it needs to be a page long too which makes it hard... Read More

  1. by   SingingNurse2
    That would make a very interesting thread - how many have already reserved their coffins! My husband and I bought our plots and all that in our mid 20's when his father died suddenly at 52 of a heart attack and it brought home to us how short life can be and how we didn't want our kids to have to deal with all that when we died like we had to do for him.
  2. by   Sleepyeyes
    When I thought I had cancer last year, before my biopsy proved otherwise, I bought a nice Chinese urn. I figured why spend all that money on a box and a place to bury it when the fam can just take me with 'em, so to speak?
    Last edit by Sleepyeyes on Mar 7, '03
  3. by   colleen10
    Hi Gordi,

    When I was in College I roomed with two "Human Development and Family Sciences" majors which is basically Psychology / Family, child counseling, etc.

    One of them had to take a semester long class called "Death and Dying". She had to do a similar exercise and also found it really hard, both emotionally and in the sense of "what in the heck can I write about, I'm only 20!". It wasn't easy at first, but once she got the ball rolling it was pretty easy and she actually enjoyed it and listening to the other people's in the class.

    I would probably put in the basics like "survived by", "was a student of blank at blank college", then maybe talk about your interests and what really gives you joy in life, what you have accomplished and hope to.

    I think brainstorming here and if possible, with your other classmates will be helpful too.

    I love sleepyeyes obit!
  4. by   frannybee
    Haven't booked or paid for anything yet, but one of my close friends is an embalmer and undertaker so he knows his role in my funeral. My family and friends are all very well aware that I want my organs donated, and I plan to have a tasteful tattoo just in case none of them are around when I cark it. I've taken my other half to a woodland burial ground to show him the kind of environment I want to be buried in, and he knows I want a cardboard coffin so I can be recycled into the ground. I've picked the music for my funeral and the people I want to speak at it. Last but not least, my nearest and dearest know to party til the sun comes up, wear what they're comfy in and speak often of me while they drink cocktails and laugh at the stupid things I did while I was alive and kicking.

    I'll leave the eulogy to my Ma, she's done the eulogy for every family funeral for donkey's years now. What a thing to be good at, heh?
  5. by   SingingNurse2
    Cardboard Coffin? Is there really such a thing? I know that my body has to decay but I don't know if I'm comfortable with the thought of helping speed up the process.
  6. by   frannybee
    Sure is.



    and Here

    Just chuck me in a big ol' box and plant a native tree over my head
  7. by   colleen10
    My husband and I have talked about this and we're only 28 and 29.

    He wants a regular funeral - laid out at a funeral home, then a church funeral and he comes from an old family in a small southern town where they have their own cemetary, he wants to be put there.

    I want something totally different. I don't want to be recessed (sp?) if I am in some kind of accident and won't come out of it the way I am now. I do want any viable organs donated, they can keep me hooked up to a pump as long as need be to get what ever parts they can use, but after that, let me go.

    I also do not want to be embalmed or laid out. I want to be cremated and put in a very nice Balik Vase with Lid that my dad bought me as a wedding present. It sits on the mantle of our fire place in our living room and as long as I can sit there while my husband or any children that we may have are alive I will be content. Plus, my husband has strict orders to put my cat (who will be cremated when she passes) in it with me.

    After he passes or any of my kids do, I don't know what should be done with me. I think if someone just spread my ashes over a nice quiet field, that would be nice.

    And, I want a typical Irish wake, lots of food, drink!, laughter and few tears.
  8. by   deespoohbear
    My aunt who was diagnosed with terminal cancer in October has already written her own obit. (She is 63). She and her husband already had their cemetery plots bought and a headstone up several years ago. My aunt has also planned her funeral all the way down to the outfit she wants buried in and the music she wants played. I don't know if I could do all that if I were diagnosed with a terminal illness.

    My parents have already bought their cemetery plots. (My parents are in their late 50's). They were talking about going ahead and buying a headstone but my sister, brother, and I asked them to wait just a little while yet. I know that my parents will die someday but the thought of going to the cemetery and seeing their headstone before they are dead just gives me the creeps.

    As for me and my husband we will probably be buried in our church cemetery. We both would like a church funeral since our church is such a big part of our life. I do NOT want an open casket during calling. We are both organ donors...

    Very interesting topic...
    Last edit by deespoohbear on Mar 7, '03
  9. by   frannybee
    I think that is one of the few good things about dying slowly - you get a chance to at least *try* to say goodbye and to make your choices regarding funerals etc before you go. It's so traumatic trying to make those decisions when someone has died unexpectedly. At least that stress is taken off you if they've had the time to plan it all before the time comes.
  10. by   Scavenger'sWife
    I really like frannybee's ideas...

    My hubby & I have talked about this since his dad is terminal now with CA. He knows I want a Catholic funeral w all the last rites if possible at the time of my death. But *NO* open casket. Just viewing for the immediate family if they want/need it. Then, organ donation is also in my wishes. Funeral itself is to be a *party* to celebrate my life, not mourn the passing on, because as a Christian, I view it as a journey to the next life. I do not want embalmed and Hubby is to pick out the cheapest casket the law allows! Cardboard box is fine w me. Never understood spending all that money for caskets. I do want to be buried in a Catholic cemetary. No headstone tho. Also think this is a waste of money. He is to give the money that would have been spent on headstone & casket to the Humane Society for care of orphan dogs.
  11. by   frannybee
    One of those coffin companies offers a service where you buy your cardboard liner and they let you 'use' a really expensive outer coffin for the services. When it comes to the actual burial/cremation, the inner box comes out with you in it and the outer, none of which has been in contact with your corpse, is reused. I say just paint the cardboard with something meaningful and appropriate.

    Edited to add that although I agree that headstones are a waste of money to some, it keeps stone sculptors in regular work (as monumental masons) to fund their artistic pursuits.
    Last edit by frannybee on Mar 8, '03
  12. by   Mkue
    Good thought frannybee !