Feeling so Bummed

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I am feeling so bummed. I just don't know what to do. I just started nursing school about three weeks ago. The great thing about it is that I was able to get in with one of my friends that I did all my pre-req's with. We've known each other for over 4 plus years. Now in nursing school we have different days in labs and at clinicals, however we still see each other in theory class. I feel like she's separating herself from me. She's not including me into the study groups she gets invited to and she sort of ignores me almost purposely. I have invited her to any and every study group that I have been invited to. I have never left her out because we went in saying that at least we got in the same time and am able to help one another through it. I feel like she doesn't want me to be a part of whatever she is a part of, almost hiding it from me. I just don't know what to do, and it's hindering me being able to study and focus on what is really important. I know this isn't what nursing school is about to worry about friendships but it still affects me. I am the most caring and giving person ever and I don't deserve this. What am I suppose to do?

Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

(((Hugs))) I'm sorry you're hurting.

That said, you are giving WAY too much power to this girl. If you back out of your program -- for a silly reason ... it's not like you've just given birth to a preemie or your mom is dying -- how do you know that spot will be there? They could well think "well if friend troubles get in her way, how will she react to a stern instructor or a patient death or a med error...or any of 50,000,000 life stressors that can come along?"

If your grief is truly having so much impact on your functioning, you need to speak to someone. Your school likely has a free counseling service, and/or speak to your dr if you feel like you need to be evaluated for a clinical depression.

Finally, my school group was pretty tight. Everyone was friendly with everyone, we'd go out to dinner after clinicals, sometimes socialize outside of school... guess how many I had any contact with after graduation? One. We used to email back and forth and a few years ago connected over FB, and we exchange Christmas cards...so we're not nearly as close as when we saw each other all the time.

I have however, since made new friends at church and on my jobs. ;)

Take a deep breath and focus on why YOU are there.

Hi nursing for me,

I feel the pain in your voice. When I was in ADN school the very same thing happened to me. I was older than these young people, we started together and all was fine until the clicks began. I was left out bad took me a while to realize they were trying to dump me. Felt stupid when I figured it out.. They started drama and I just went off alone.. I had begged and scrapped my way to get in..I had babies and theses ******* weren't going to mess with my education.. I did my thing.. It was hard.. But they all 3 came begging me to help as they were both failing.. I dud because I'm a good person and quite frankly it wS easier to play along than be an outsider.. I never forgot it though.. Move on to some other people.. Nursing school is hard enough and will get harder.. They'll be thinking twice when these new people figure her out.. Keep your head up.. You ain't gotta sleep with her! Remember that.. At the end of the day.. You go home to your family

Hey love!

im currently in my second semester of nursing school. I know a lot of people are telling you to suck it up and forget about it. However, they often forget just how demanding and stressful nursing school is. There have been many a time when I've been so overwhelmed and stressed, that I thought I wouldn't be able to do it. Having a close friend is crucial for most people to make it through. It's much easier to get through this when you have someone you can lean on when times get tough. And I promise you, they will get tough! Guess what, these people know exactly what you're going through and need the support as well! If I didn't have my group of friends I would have already dropped out! As far as this one girl your speaking of... To put it bluntly, she's a bit**. Let her do her thing, and show her you don't need her. You sound like a sweet girl, and don't need this drama to deter from becoming a nurse. I do agree with the other nurses here in that you need to make new friends! Start communicating with people in your clinical group and set up a study date with them! Don't give up on this though, especially over something like this! You will never live it down and and will regret it for the rest of your life! Get out there and start making new friends! And tell miss popular to shove it! Hope everything works out for you! :)

I really do appreciate everyone's advice, and I know you all are just trying to help me see the big picture. It hasn't been easy at all, and it will most likely continue to be this way. I have come to terms that if we don't end up being friends in the end of all this, I am okay with it. I just need to learn to cope with not being "invited" to study groups, or celebrations after an exam especially when there's public post in my face all over social media. I guess that's what hurts the most, and I should maybe stay away from social media, so I don't hear or see these things. But like one of the posts earlier stated for me to put all my focus into studying and in doing the best I can. I have aced both my exams and have done exceptionally well, that I'm proud. I have family and other friends who love me and will go to the moon and back for me. I don't need this, all I need is to get through this part my life. Maybe there's something there that I need to learn from all of this. I'm not sure what it is yet. I had a really bad day when I posted this, I have since then moved on from it. Although, there are still painful moments, I will not let it hinder my studying and will not deter me from finishing what I set out to do. I will continue to come back to read all the feed backs that I have been given when I am feeling really down. Thank you all for picking me back up.

Specializes in Palliative Care.

I like to feel included too. I am wondering though, if they are public events on FB, are you "allowed" to go to them without an express invitation? Can you choose to attend? Or would that increase the awkwardness for you?

I'm glad you're staying in your program. It sounds like you worked hard to get there!

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