Being a leader, and working with people - page 3

Hello I recently started nursing school, and everything (for the most part) is going great, so far. But, there is an issue that has come up for me, and I think everyone here might want to read... Read More

  1. by   Megsd
    I believe that the fact that you have alienated a few very rational and level-headed posters from this thread in your attempt to "lead" this discussion is telling. I can see why other groups you lead would not be functional.

    In my own experience, I agree with everyone else... you don't just decide "I will be the leader". The leader evolves from the group. Usually when I am in a group of any kind, we all start as equals. We all begin to contribute our own opinions and ideas, and over time, we begin to defer to one person moreso than others, and they become the leader. In most groups I have participated in, I have not been the leader, although lately, my current group of friends seems to defer to me, and that's fine.

    For example, my friends and I have been planning a trip to a festival tomorrow. We each did research about the time, date, location of the festival, and asked around individually to see who wanted to go. Since it's quite a ways away, some of us suggested we should meet up and carpool, but there has not been any solid communication. One of my friends suggested that I contact everyone to settle the details, so I sent an email that essentially said "This is what we as a group have agreed on so far. A few of us brainstormed that we could meet at someone's house and carpool, or we could meet at school and carpool. Please reply to all and let the rest of us know what you feel would be best to do, and if you want to volunteer your house as a meeting spot."

    Note the lack of the word "I" in that email almost anywhere. This is not an outing that *I* have organized, it is an outing that *we* as a group have organized. My role is currently to collaborate with my group to develop a plan for transportation based on their (and my, since I am a group member too) input. I do not need to instruct my group about what we are going to do. I am asking for their input so *we* can develop a plan that works for *us*.

    I feel that as a leader, it is not your (general you) responsibility to spearhead and carry your group. Groups kind of have a life of their own. You need to figure out the group dynamic and work within it to be successful, rather than coming in with The Plan and expecting the group to follow it.
  2. by   fd5151
    Quote from USCSomeday
    My point in responding was that the information I provided didn't fully clarify enough of the situation to let others give valid advice. What I'm interested in is receiving feedback about leadership styles based on your personal experiences; it's impossible for you -- or anyone -- to make a sound judgement on my leadership style, anyways. All I can do on an open forum is present a topic for discussion based on data I've collected and experienced. To make this strategy more effective, I revised my original prompt and instead asked for the same thing from you that I expect from myself: I asked for people to discuss a topic based on their own collected and experienced data. This isn't reality TV.
    No, i think you are trying to manipulate the conversation to get the response that agrees with your own belief. If i am getting a headache trying to respond "appropriately" to you thread, how must your group members feel?!
    All i can say, is that i am a nearly finished my program and have learned alot watching the different personalities clash in my program and other classes in the past and you will learn - you will get a huge reality check once you actually start working on the floor and get put in your place. Sorry to say it but seen it over and over again. You have also missed out on an immeasurable opportunity to gain knowledge from members on the board who are known to the rest of us as priceless to listen to because of the vast experience and wisdom they can share. Too bad for you that you only wanted to hear yourself talk.
  3. by   sirI
    Thread closed for staff review