Why should I be afraid??

[nyapa, RN]

I've always been a little scared to say too much on these pages, because although this is a big site visited by nurses all over the world, I live in a regional northern city of Australia, and often wonder if ppl from that region can identify me, as there is only one hospital, and it is relatively small.

Not any more!!! I don't care!!!

I have been working on what I thought was a wonderful ward. Then I went for an arranged meeting. This was supposedly to discuss how I was progressing.

Basically I was told that everyone was happy with my performance and that noone had put in any complaints. I was concerned that maybe my time management was a bit slow. I was told not to put myself down; to have more confidence in myself.

It has been organised for me to beplaced on that ward by the hospital post the graduate year; but even though I'm going 'fine' I'm not wanted on the ward. Apparently, so I was told in the same breath, seniors are concerned that I cannot keep up with the pace.

This was all said in the same meeting, over a twenty minute period. Now, are they happy with my performance? Or arent they? No complaints? Yet seniors are concerned? Am I slow/not slow? And why was there no mention of concern re: my performance earlier?

My grad educator, who was also in the meeting, was as stunned as I was. She had had no bad reports of my nursing skills either.

Then I was told I should maybe be placed in a slower area, maybe like a same day procedure unit. Cool, all I'll be doing is vital signs, post op care, and discharging ppl home after their procedure. Oh, and I might have the excitement of giving an occasional panadol/acetaminophen. Of course, that is why I did my registered nursing!!

No mention of my skill level was made. But I was told that the skill mix was such that there were not as many seniors on the ward to teach junior ppl on the ward. This does not make sense. Many agency staff are used on our ward, because there are not enough staff and in fact often half the staff may be agency. So these are ppl who are perfectly good nurses but are not familiar with the ward, until they work there for a while.

So what is the problem with having a person such as myself on the ward who will have been there for four months after my grad year has finished to continue on...

I have really loved my time here. I have learnt alot. I nearly gave up yesterday, totally. Then I thought to myself, "I'm not bl***y doing it, I fought too hard, paid alot of money, gave up alot of my life, and put my husband through hell to throw nursing in. The CNM is not going to beat me!"

I'm going to use my time to continue to learn. And then I'll go elsewhere in the hospital where maybe I am wanted...

[MoopleRN]

It sounds like you're eager to get as much experience as you can as quickly as you can. That demonstrates your passion for your profession, good for you! OTOH, those senior nurses do have way more experience than you do and they certainly know what their ward is like/would be like for an unexperienced nurse. They just may be doing you a favor in slowing you down a bit. Stress is a good thing in small doses; it keeps us on our toes. Too much stress is overwhelming and can lead to frustration/mistakes.

Take the good review you earned and continue your progress where they think you'll fit best at this time. Just because you may not be getting the hands on experience you want, you'll still be getting plenty opportunities to learn.

[nyapa, RN]

But are they happy with my performance? Are they not? Why am I getting mixed messages? Why is my grad educator as shocked as I am?\

Why were neither of us told, this late in the game, if they were concerned? Just what are my problems?

What if the educator had not suggested we have the meeting? When would I have found out they were unhappy with my performance? On the last day?

Sorry, I don't like covert behaviours. Honesty is the best policy. The way I was treated was disrespectful and unprofessional...

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

I think that you don't have problems. They don't have enough preceptors. Of course, being a certain type of nursing supervisor, they lie to you and put you down rather than tell you the simple truth.

It isn't you.

[MoopleRN]

Ok, so request another meeting/talk to whomever necessary to get those questions answered. I understand your frustration and I agree that you deserve some clear answers to your concerns. Best of luck to you!