Vent: going crazy, need help, don't feel like a nurse anymore...

[Cmariehart]

Hi everyone.. I really need some help and insight, because I feel as if I'm going crazy and I don't really feel like a nurse anymore.

I work in LTC and up until the last couple months I've loved my job. The rn I worked with got fired. I don't really know the reasons why but she's not there anymore. So now it's just me. I'm now doing the med pass for all 40 which is very hard and running the unit on my shift. I get along great with the cna's/ordelies (they're the best in the world), and we're a great team. But I feel really overwhelmed.

I've been chewed out by just about everyone I can think of on all the shifts. I've made med errors. (which I've scared about but been told they're no big deal!!) 2 of the nurses from my unit are really supportive one is from days the other nights and they tell me to not give up. Even the residents and their families are trying to encourage me to not give up... But it's hard.

I don't know what I'm doing!!! I can't do a med pass for 40 people when you got people coming up to every 5 minutes and asking you how to do something. And I don't know the first thing about how to run a unit. We're also double charting now: paper charting and computer charting... it's sucks!!!! :angryfire

Our unit is also the training unit for new staff and I have to LPN's that just graduated on our unit now. 1 likes to yell and scream and talk alot of crap about everyone and the other tends to run and hide. I've only been at this job for 8 months now and I'm a new LPN too!!!!!!! I'm not comfortable in this position. It's also time for the state to come in....:angryfire

So I went to my supervisor and told her how I felt. I was told that yes I didn't get a fair deal. Yes we are under staffed. Yes they are well aware of now that the rn I worked with before didn't teach me anything (she was crazy-- no I'm not kidding) But the only thing that "they" can do is float me to another unit so that I can learn things from one of the RN's. And then put me back on my unit when "they" deem the time is right.

And since this talk a week ago this is what I've noticed.. When I'm on meds I have 2 nurses besides me on the unit. When I'm not on meds and I'm PCN, it's just me! We have 8 tube feedings we do on my time and 24 drsg changes and double charting and 3 pts and all the other paper work..

And tonight was the first night I floated. And I felt like a moron. I couldn't remember how to do a couple simple things....... I feel bad.......

I got into this profession to help people! And now I feel like I'm the one that needs help.... mental help that is.

No matter what I feel like I can't win. I'm ready to throw in the towel, but I'm stubborn and I still want to give it one more shot. But I'm really starting to not feel like a nurse anymore.

Thanks for listening and reading, any advice offered is greatly appreciated!

Thank the gods it's my weekend off!!!!!!!!

[Indy, LPN, LVN]

I don't know how you do it, really I don't. If you're very close to quitting, I'd say do one of two things:

1. tell the manager that you're close to quitting to save your sanity, as in, you may just wake up one day and snap, and not come to work any more, go get a job at burger king, etc. Only do this if you mean it; I don't ever give ultimatums lightly.

2. skip that, just put in applications elsewhere. I think hospital floor work is rough but it sounds heavenly to me compared to LTC. On my worst night to date, I haven't been staring at a 40-patient med pass.

Since you're off, have a pedicure! You deserve it!

Edit: What I mean by no. 1 is this: Sometimes the powers that be in management stall on hiring in some malicious manner in order to save money, or sometimes they just can't find anyone to apply for the job. The ultimatum is meant to find out what kind of people you work for; will they suddenly have an RN materialize out of nowhere, beg you to stay because they really don't have anyone, or tell you ok, no problem go home. It's hard to predict a response; that's why I say don't say it unless you mean it.

[weirdRN, RN]

The LTC facility that I worked in stalled on hiring a DON for almost a year. Then EVERYONE started jumping ship. Now they are not only short the DON, but 6 nurses as well....I wonder how the residents are doing and I feel bad sometimes for leaving but, I couldn't take any more