pelvic pain and bleeding

Energizer Bunny · Apr 3, 2004

Hi! My sister in law is very frustrated with doctors right now. She's been complaining of pain in her right side and bleeding every couple of weeks.From what she tells me the doctors just don't take her seriously. Is there anyone out there that has had something like this and would have any idea what might be going on? I am sure that I don't have all the details. They took her gallbladder out already because she had been complaining of pain further up. She wanted them to do a hysterectomy but was told "no way, you're to young" which doesn't make any sense to her as my GYN has been suggesting that to me and I'm 3-4 years younger then her. I have been wondering if this last bit of information that I have would possibly have anything to do with it. She's also married to an abusive man. Anyway I don't know if I should keep encouraging to keep seeing doctors until she gets the answers she wants. That's what I've been doing, but if all the doctors have the same answer thats made me stop and rethink it little. Thanks.

I don't blame her a bit for being frustrated. I have had similar problems ever since I had my son in October (I'm assuming she hasn't recently had a baby since you didn't mention it?) and no one wanted to listen to me until a couple weeks ago. Now, I am being sent for an u/s and bloodwork to find out what is wrong.

I have also been in an abusive relationship and if he is physically abusive, it is highly likely that she got hit in that area and is now having problems due to the abuse. I know that my abuser was smart and only ever hit me on the face twice...the first time and the time I left.

When you say Dr's, I'm assuming you mean OB's. If this is a major concern of her, which it sounds like it is, I would certainly keep getting it checked out...keep going until you find a dr. who will listen and do something about it. Maybe you should try to go with her to the dr. if she doesn't feel too uncomfortable with it.

For what it's worth, until I had my third child recently, my dr. told me that he would not perform a hysterectomy because I am too young (and I am 30). It makes sense because they figure you might regret it and want children. But then again...it's your body. ...hmmm...I feel a poll coming on! LOL! I hope I helped a little, even if only in letting you know that she is not alone. It took me a long time to get them to understand the importance of my pain and bleeding.

LoriT · Apr 3, 2004

She hasn't had any children recently and also hasn't been to an OB. There is also a money issue here. I guess the doctors are starting to wonder what the point is of coming to them if she's going to refuse any tests that they want to do. Maybe that's why they don't refer her to a specialist. I do know that it is a big concern for her, but she's at the point of just giving up. I guess she's been thinking that if she could get someone to do a hysterectomy, she'd be done with it, but because they have no idea what's going on they refuse and tell her that she's to young. She knows that they do hysterectomies on younger women, because I'm only 25 and my doctor would do one on me ASAP if decided that I was ready. But they also know how messed up my insides are because he just did a laproscopy and the works.

ferfer · Apr 3, 2004

:eek: :eek: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!!!!!!! Hysterectomy should be a last resort- especially at such a young age! There are many complications to having this done at so young, and it should only be used when all else fails!!!! There are many causes of cramping and bleeding, endometriosis, cysts, scarring of the bladder or uterine wall......I can go on and on.

I hope that she persists in seeking help. Trust me, just getting a hysterectomy is not going to be the be-all and end-all of her problems!! Just my advice.....

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Apr 3, 2004

Not only that, but her insurance almost certainly won't pay for a hyst unless everything else has been tried, including birth control pills, Lupron, even endometrial ablation. I couldn't get a hyst at age 44 even with a five year history of heavy bleeding, anemia, pain, and uterine fibroids---my insurance company said I hadn't tried 'everything' to manage my problem conservatively. So I had the ablation, and guess what, it didn't work either......now the insurance will have to pay for TWO surgeries. But that's a story for another day.........my point being that a woman just can't walk into a doctor's office and automatically get the OK for a hysterectomy at ANY age, let alone an undiagnosed condition in her mid-20s.

Of more concern to me, as a nurse and as a woman, is the abuse issue.....it sounds to me like she needs a shelter and some serious counseling. The people who run these places can help her sort out the physical from the emotional, get her in to see an OB-GYN, and figure out what's really wrong.

Please urge her to get out of that relationship and check into the closest battered-women's center.........it could literally save her life!

LoriT · Apr 3, 2004

I agree that a hyst won't just instantly solve her problem or anyones which is why I am not giving my dr. the ok to do it, hopefully not for a number of years. I am also concerned about the abuse and have been very supportive the last 2 times that she's left him, but because of the fact that she's married to my husband's brother, it puts a strain on our relationship when they get back together. He really doesn't like for her to have a lot of contact with her, but she did come to me about her medical problem and I just didn't know what to tell her as my gut feeling is that a some of it might clear up if she got out of the relationship and got help. I really don't know how to say that to her without affending her. Would also feel terrible if there was actually something serious wrong that had nothing to do with any abuse she was getting. Which it might very well be. I have also reported him for child abuse but nothing's been done about it because to other people they look like the perfect family. Needless to say I'm far from being his favorite sister in law!

Energizer Bunny · Apr 4, 2004

Okay, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that you seriously need to report him again for child abuse or maybe try to find someone not personally involved to do it if you think they will take that person more seriously. If he is abusing a child in that house, the child needs to get out ASAP!!! And as for the money issue with her tests, she can always apply for emergency medicaid if she needed to in order to pay for the tests. There is no need for her to suffer any longer. It took me months to finally give in and start fighting with the docs to find out what is wrong with me.

sharann, BSN, RN · Apr 4, 2004

I think that some people go to doctors as a way of asking for help(as in from abuse)hoping someone else will save them. I agree with CNM2B, that this guy should be reported for child abouse, but just remember, your SIL is allowing her child/ren to be subjected to physical and emotional danger by allowing the child to be there. She is negligent in protecting her chilren from being orphaned if he kills her, or from being killed themselves. This is so sad, so sad. I am sorry that women still feel they can't escape theses situations for fear of retribution. Hope you can help her out of there, and then get her help for her medical issues.